Hand for a Hand: PART 1
by L.S. Wasp
Summary: Merle's left for dead on a rooftop in Atlanta while the others escape back to camp. He does the unthinkable to free himself and struggles to regain his strength with the motivation of striking vegeance against those he feels have betrayed him. Will he continue on his vengeful path or will the kindness of a stranger enable what little human is left inside Merle triumph? Merle/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

_**I really enjoyed writing Merle in my last story "Dawn of a New Day" and wanted to continue on with him. Not wanting to go to far in the future since we don't know how he will return to the show and when, I thought it would be interesting to write a story about where's he's been all this time...Hope you enjoy it!**_

**Please Review!**

**HAND FOR A HAND**

**Chapter 1**

Merle had never been so scared in his entire life...not because of the walkers themselves but for the fact that he lost all control and was trapped like a caged animal. He wasn't afraid to take on any army of walkers, but being handcuffed to a pipe, limiting his every move was what evoked the fear that coursed through his veins.

"I AIN'T DYING UP HERE...I AIN'T DYING HERE LIKE THIS YOU HEAR ME?...NOT AT YOUR ROTTEN HANDS YOU BASTARDS!...NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YA WILL GET ME...I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YA...EVERY ONE...I PROMISE YOU THAT! JUST YOU WATCH!...YOU WATCH ME!..." Merle yelled as he struggled to reach the hack saw, seeing the decaying hands and arms from the stairwell attempting to climb through the door to the roof.

Merle swung his belt at it over and over until he was finally able to get it close enough to grab it. Once in his hand, he started to try and saw through the chain but quickly realized it was a waste and too dull to cut through.

"NO! NO! NO! GOD DAMN YOU! YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH..." Merle screamed. Discouraged and tired, he sat there sulking until the commotion at the top of the stairs became louder. Merle could see the walkers struggle as they pushed and shoved each other all trying to fit through the crack of the door not even wide even for one of them to get through. It seemed like the more they struggled, the hungrier they became. Merle knew if they found a way through before he could free himself, no matter how resourceful he was, he would be no match for their appetite at this point. Not being this riled up he wouldn't.

"YOU THINK THIS WILL STOP ME? YOU THINK YOUR WILL IS STRONGER THAN MINE? WELL I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT WILL REALLY IS..." Merle said as he wrapped his belt tightly around his forearm near his wrist, as tight as he could. Then he started to do what most would consider unthinkable...

Merle did his best to only look when necessary. He was never one for being squeamish but this was certainly like nothing he had seen or done before. It didn't matter how many deer he killed and dissected. Dissecting yourself with no pain meds, no doctor, just you, adrenaline and a dirty hack saw, was the most difficult thing he had ever done. A wave of nausea washed over him as he began to sweat profusely. _Don't stop now...there's no going back now, just keep going..._Merle kept telling himself over and over as he struggled to cut through the joint in his wrist. _No one said this would be easy, just don't stop...keep going...you're almost there..._

But Merle wasn't almost there. He hadn't made it halfway through when he started to feel light headed and dizzy. He had to hurry though and not stop, no hesitation, no taking a break. He had to cut all the way through or he wouldn't finish. He managed to block out the noise from the walkers at the doorway. The sound of the chain clanking on the metal door quickly faded as all he could hear was the thumping of his own heart. He took full deep breaths as he cut to try to keep himself calm and not pass out.

_Stay calm...you got this..._He reminded himself in hopes of keeping his heart rate down so he wouldn't lose blood any faster than he had to. He kept cutting trying not to focus on how long it was taking, just to focus on doing. Finally he felt the saw give and watched, as if in slow motion, his lifeless hand fall to the concrete rooftop and the relief of his whole body suddenly being free.

Merle smiled and began to laugh hysterically as he dropped the saw and struggled to take off his shirt, wrapping it around his bloody stump of a wrist. He left his belt wrapped tight.

"HAHA! YOU THOUGHT YOU GOT ME! YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T DO IT...DIDN'T YOU? YOU STUPID FUCK! I SHOWED YOU, I SHOWED YOU ALRIGHT!" Merle stumbled slightly and struggled to keep his balance. His yelling riled up the walkers again. Merle looked at them and gave them all a finger salute!

"Fuck you! You ugly bitches...you ain't gettin me today!" He said as he turned and headed to the other side of the roof, looking for a way to escape. He found another stairwell but before he went down, he ran back over to the bag of tools and grabbed a large wrench. He headed cautiously down the staircase not sure of what he would find on the way.

About halfway down the stairs he quietly opened the door to one of the floors and entered into an office area. As he walked down the hallway it opened up into a reception area where he saw two walkers stumbling around. Quickly the smell of fresh blood caught their attention. Merle ran towards both of them and with full force swung at one, cracking it in the head with the wrench, then swung again and again. The other lunged towards him and he kicked it away from him to give himself time to finish off the first then afterwards, he did the other just as swiftly.

Merle stumbled over to the counter, leaning on it to catch his breath. "Don't quit now...this ain't no time for restin', there could be more coming anytime...get your shit together Merle..."

Merle looked at his stump and realized it was bleeding profusely. He had to stop it so he wouldn't pass out and he didn't want to read like a neon side once he made it outside for the walkers either. He stumbled into the kitchen and headed towards the burner but the gas stove wasn't working.

"Damn!...there's got to be something." Merle began searching the cabinets and located gel fuel cans and an old cast iron meat press with a handle. He found some grill tongues and used them to hold the meat press over the flame from the fuel cans until it was scorching hot. He rested the meat press on the stove then slowly he unwrapped the shirt from his wrist, grunting and groaning the whole time, flinching with the pain. _This ain't nothin...you just cut off your fucking hand...this is a piece of cake...you can do this...just do it...and it will be over..."_

Merle felt around in his back pocket and grabbed his leather wallet. He shoved the wallet in his mouth and bit down hard. He wrapped his bloody shirt around his hand to keep from scalding it from the iron meat press. He steadied his hand over the handle and prepared to grab it, closing his eyes, taking a few deep breaths and blowing them out through his nose slowly. He grabbed the handle tightly as he bore down on the wallet in his mouth and pressed it against his stub with full force and no hesitation. Merle let out a muffled scream as his face turned red, the vein bulging in his neck and sweat pouring off his forehead.

He threw the iron press down on the burner, the crackling of burning flesh still attached and smoke coming from his nub of a wrist. He slumped over onto the floor, leaning against the cabinets, holding his arm close to his body as he spit out the wallet from his mouth and tried to catch his breath. He felt himself begin to shake as he struggled to take a breath.

"No...you're fine...no time to relax now...you got work to do Merle...it's time to get up and get out of here..." He told himself as he struggled to his feet, still clutching the bloody t-shirt in his hand. He grabbed his wallet off the floor, shoving it back into his pocket. He made his way over to the window, breaking it with his fist covered in the t-shirt and climbed out onto the fire escape.

Looking below and into the alley he didn't see any walkers roaming. He climbed over the railing and onto the ladder, wrapping his handless arm around one of the bars and gripping it as best he could near the elbow. He hit the lever with his left hand, sending the ladder rushing down to the alley below, the clanking echoing loudly as it came to a stop. Merle knew it was a risk in making the noise but at the same time, taking things slowly was a luxury he couldn't afford at the moment. He was still struggling to keep moving from the blood loss he had already incurred and needed to make sure he got some place safe and fast. He dropped down to the street and quietly ran towards the end of the alley carefully peering around the corner. He could see many walkers aimlessly stumbling around, oblivious to his presence. Quickly Merle ran across the street and down the next alley and the next until he was able to make his way towards the edge of town. Merle was running out of steam and fast when he looked up and saw an old white delivery truck. He climbed up into the cab, noticing the keys were in the ignition.

"Well I'd say it's my lucky day but I think we're past that at this point..." Merle laughed to himself.

He turned the ignition, awkwardly shifted the vehicle in gear with his left hand and drove down the road. He entered back into the city instead of heading back to camp. He wanted nothing more than to head to camp with a ton of vengeance for all those fuckers that left him on the rooftop but he knew he needed to regain his strength. When he did go back and he fully intended to...he wasn't the only one going to be missing a body part.

"Eye for an eye you fuckers...or hand for a hand being more fittin'..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

**Chapter 2**

Merle drove through the city careful to avoid large clusters of walkers. He knew he was taking a huge risk but if he didn't find some antibiotics and some painkillers soon he wouldn't make it anyways. Rick had thrown out his last bit of coke and all his other drugs were in the saddlebags on his motorcycle back at camp. He just needed a few days to recuperate. Merle was able to find a drug store in an area where there didn't seem to be too many walkers. Merle had to move carefully since he was lacking the weapons he normally carried. He struggled to get out of the truck and stumbled his way into the pharmacy.

Merle climbed over the counter towards the racks of drugs. He started to read the labels on the bottles but struggled to focus on the letters. He felt himself begin to sway.

"No...nope not now...Just a little longer is all you need..." Merle told himself as he began to feel the room spin. No matter how hard he fought it, his body got the better of him and he went crashing to the ground.

"GET UP!" Merle yelled at himself as he struggled but only managed to roll around on the floor. He heard something from the other side of the counter.

_Sssshhhh...be quiet Merle..._He thought to himself. A walker couldn't get him now...not after all this.

Merle watched as the figure slowly approached him. The brightness of the ceiling lights silhouetted the figure as it came towards him. Merle felt around for anything he could've used as a weapon but felt nothing.

The figure stood over him and reached out towards him but instead grabbing at him like a walker would, Merle could see the barrel of a gun as he struggled to focus his eyes.

He could hear their voice but the struggle to keep from losing consciousness made him unable to focus on what the person said.

"I said...Did something bite you? Is that what happened to your hand?" the voice asked.

"I ain't letting one of those damn things bite me...I'd kill every last one of them first!" Merle remarked.

"I can't say you're real convincing at the moment..." the voice told him. "What happened to you?" The person squatted down and came into view, still pointing the gun in his face.

Merle realized it was a young woman, her pink hair barely hit her shoulders and the roots were a dark brown. She had a large scar down the side of her face almost hidden by her hair. He couldn't help but smile at her in relief...

"I wouldn't be so quick to smile...I still haven't decided if I'm going to shoot you or not." she told him. "Now I'm asking again...what happened to your hand?"

Merle began to laugh as he covered his eyes with his left hand. "OH...I cut the damn thing off..." He said in between laughing but as he continued on he seemed to almost start to cry. "They left me there...just left me to die and be eaten alive by those nasty bitches...but I showed them...I showed them all..."

The woman watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he became silent. She waited a few minutes making sure he didn't move again when she leaned in and listened against his bare chest. She could hear his heartbeat and he was still breathing. Carefully she lifted his arm with the missing hand and took a closer look. The nub still had the burning flesh smell but the wound, although a little jagged look like a cut and not a felts a little queasy just looking at it.

"Man...you are one crazy bastard!" She proclaimed.

The woman stood up and began to pace trying to decide what to do. She didn't owe anything to this man and he was easily twice her size. How on earth would she get him out of there and back to her camp but she wasn't even sure she wanted to.

She loaded up her backpack with all the medicines she could find. Insulin, blood pressure pills, anti-biotics, pain killers and anything else that sounded familiar. She grabbed a few boxes of syringes. She wasn't trying to hoard drugs but at the same time she might not ever have a chance to find them again and they would be a good bargaining chip if she ever got into trouble. There was no telling anymore who you could and couldn't trust. Because of that she knew it would be foolish to help the man, she decided to just leave him there. She started towards the door and looked down the road both ways, it seemed clear. She started to exit but then stopped short.

"Fuck!..." she stated as she turned back and went back inside. She walked over to the man, squatted next to him and slapped him hard on the face.

Stunned, Merle opened his eyes..."What the hell?"

"Come on, gather whatever strength you have left and help me get you out of here...I can't do it by myself...you're gonna have to help." she told him as she grabbed hold of his left arm and started to pull him up to sitting. Merle grunted and struggled to keep his eyes open.

"IF YOU'RE ASS DOESN'T GET UP IN THE NEXT MINUTE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL JUST LEAVE YOU HERE. THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE!" She yelled at him.

"Alright...alright...I'm coming...damn you're a bitch..." Merle told her as he struggled back to his feet.

The woman struggled to get him towards the door and as they approached Merle nodded his head towards the truck. "That's mine...key's inside..."

She dragged him out, opened the truck door and shoved him in. Merle struggled to pull himself over to the passenger side and the woman climbed into the driver's side. Merle leaned up against the window as she started to drive off. He closed his eyes and passed back out...


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 3

Merle struggled to open his eyes. His right hand hurt and all he could think about were the handcuffs around his wrists. Merle jumped and sat straight up clutching his wrist, in a panic to get free from the cuffs. He looked at his right hand and noticed...it was gone. For a moment he wasn't sure if he was still dreaming then it all came flooding back. The hacksaw...watching his hand drop to the concrete. He could've sworn the pain from his hand woke him up but how could he have pain in something that wasn't there. He just stared at the freshly bandaged nub.

"Phantom pain..." Merle heard the voice say. He looked across the small room and saw a woman with pink hair sitting against the wall eating baked beans out of a can with a pocket knife. She looked as if she hadn't bathed in days. She wore a black tank top with green cargo pants and black military style boots. Holsters for guns adorned both sides of her thighs but Merle noticed they were empty.

"Who the hell are you?" Merle asked as he glared at her then around the room trying to figure out where he was.

"I don't think that's something you really need to worry about...it ain't like we're going to be new best friends or anything." She told him.

Merle couldn't help but laugh at her as he watched her try to put on a fearless front towards him. She might have the attitude and the voice behind it but he could see her eyes read something different.

"Come on girlie...you don't want me just calling you sugar tits?...or maybe you do...maybe you brought me back here to get yourself some good ole Merle lovin'" He said as he laughed out loud.

Straight faced, the woman walked over to the couch and before Merle could think of another smart ass comment, she grabbed a hold of his bandaged nub and pressed her thumb into the end.

Merle screamed in pain. "YOU FUCKIN' BITCH!"

Merle riled in pain and pulled his arm into his chest as he gasped for air.

"I'll tell you when I think you need to know...otherwise in the meantime you need to show some respect. If it wasn't for me you'd be walker food by now so shut the fuck up." She got up and went into another room.

Merle struggled not to vomit from the pain as sweat ran down his cheek. Everything started to become blurry again and he feared he would pass out.

The woman walked back into the room with a bottle of jack and her backpack. She sat on the edge of the couch next to Merle and he jumped slightly in afraid she would jab him with her finger or worse back into his nub.

"Here take these..." She held out her closed fist and held the bottle of jack in the other. Merle just glared at her, still pissed.

"It's pain killers...but if you don't want them..." She started to get back up.

"Alright...alright just relax...give 'em here." Merle demanded as he took the pain killers from her hand, popped them in his mouth then jerked the bottle from her hand.

"Hold on a sec..." She said as she grabbed the top of the bottle and unscrewed it. Merle took a heavy swig. His eyes widened as he watched her pull a syringe and a vial from the backpack.

"What the fuck is that?" He asked as he continued to drink. "You ain't stickin' me with that thing."

She gave him a sly smile. "What? Big strong man able to cut off his own hand but can't handle the sting of a little needle?"

"Ain't that...how the fuck do I know what's in there?" He asked.

"You don't...but it's anti-biotics, you're definitely going to need them and you'll have to take my word for it." She told him.

Merle cringed as she jabbed him with the needle. He laid back on the couch and closed his eyes as she took the bottle from his hand and rested it onto the floor nearby. When he felt her get up from the couch, he opened his eyes and watched go back across the room, sitting back on the floor.

"What was that you said before?" Merle asked her. " 'Bout my hand being gone?"

"Phantom pain...it's something you'll experience from time to time..." she told him.

"Like it's still there?"

"Yes Merle...like it's still there..." She replied.

Merle closed his eyes. He was exhausted and since he knew she wasn't going to kill him at least not for that moment, he tried his best to relax. The important thing was getting his strength back. He was anxious to get back to camp and show all those fuckers what kind of man he really was. His thoughts quickly went to Daryl...Daryl had been out hunting when he initially left and came with the others into the city. He wondered what they would tell him. If they would say he was killed by a walker or what excuse they'd come up with. He knew if they told Daryl the truth, Daryl would go off. He'd have is back...maybe nobody else would but Daryl would. Who knows, maybe Daryl would enact his own revenge before he could make his way back...Daryl was blood...he wouldn't turn on him like the others...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 4

Merle woke up clutching his wrist from the sharp stabbing pain. "God Damn!...Girl...give me some more pills or somethin'!"

Merle opened his eyes and looked around the room but there was no one there. Merle wiped the sweat off his forehead, still cursing from the pain. He stumbled to his feet looking for her backpack she had taken the pills from earlier but couldn't find it.

"Fuckin' bitch, what did she do with it? I need it...somethin', I need somethin'...anything" Merle winced in agony. His breathing became labored as he struggled out into the hallway.

Merle looked around the house starting with the kitchen for alcohol or anything to help dull the pain. Staggering up the stairs he made his way through each bedroom but couldn't find anything to help with relief.

"BITCH!...How could you do this to me...it ain't human! Just like that damn nigger and fuckin' pig left me to be eaten alive on that rooftop! It ain't human!...you just don't leave people to suffer!" Merle yelled fighting back the tears he felt begin to well up in his eyes.

Struggling to breath, he staggered his way back towards the steps. Leaning against the wall at the top, Rick's words rang through his head. " There are no niggers anymore, no dumb as shit inbred white trash fools either...only dark meat and white meat...there's us and the dead"*

"And then those are those heartless bastards that leave others for the dead...I ain't even that heartless...I ain't..." Merle felt his knees buckle as he tried to make his way down the stairs, collapsing his knee hard on one of the steps and tumbled his way down towards the bottom.

His head cracked against the hardwood floor and he landed on his hand-less arm. Merle screamed in pain as the room spun fast quickly causing everything to become black...

.

The woman ran as fast as she could to the white truck, jumping inside it and throwing it into reverse as the walkers were quickly on her heels. She had thrown the backpack with so much force that it landed in the floorboard on the passenger side instead of the seat where she was aiming but she didn't care. She stomped on the ignition as hard as she could and peeled out of there in the just the nick of time before the swarm engulfed the truck.

"That was too close..." She said to herself. The city was greatly becoming one of the most unsafe places to be. The house she had found and boarded up like a fortress would only withstand a small group not the monstrous herds that were beginning for form. She wasn't even sure how many chances she could take continuing on into the city like she was for supplies. She'd have to look at what she had and only go back for things that were absolutely necessary. Otherwise, she was starting to believe the best thing to do would be to get out of town. But what would she do about Merle? He wasn't in any condition to be on the move. She had done her part in helping him. _Maybe you should just move on without him. He's a grown man...he can take care of himself...besides...you don't even know he can be trusted...no sense in staying with someone you can't trust...you've already learned that lesson once...don't repeat the same mistakes..._

She made her way back to the house. She unlocked the padlock on the outside of the cellar door and locked it back on the inside once she was in. She headed up the stairs which led to a door that opened up in the kitchen. She started to head towards the living room when she abruptly stopped.

"MERLE!" She saw Merle lying at the foot of the stairs, a small pool of blood forming around his head as she rushed over towards him. He didn't respond.

"MERLE? OPEN YOUR EYES! CAN YOU HEAR ME?" She yelled at him. She wanted to panic but stopped herself and took a deep breath. She placed two fingers on his neck to check his pulse...his heart was still beating. She rested her hand on his chest and felt the rise and fall from the air entering and exiting his lungs.

"Merle..." she said more gently, this time gently cupping his jaw in her hand.

Slowly Merle began to open his eye although he struggled to focus. The woman heard him mumble something but couldn't make out what he said.

"What?...I don't understand...be careful..." she told him as he started to roll to his back.

Merle laid on his back just staring at the ceiling for a moment. He could hear the woman's voice echoing in his head but he couldn't make out what she was saying. He felt as if he could hardly move and not only was his wrist throbbing from where he severed his hand but now his head was throbbing too.

"You just left me here...just like they did..." Merle stated emotionless.

"What?...I don't understand...like who? I just went out for more supplies..." she told him.

"You thought you left me for dead didn't you? You thought you did...just like they did...but you were wrong...they were wrong...you're all wrong. Ain't nobody gonna kill me...nobody." Merle stated softly.

There was something in Merle's voice that sent a chill through the woman's body...

Merle looked glaringly over at the woman..."Don't you doubt me for one second..."

.

.

*The Walking Dead Episode 2 "Guts"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 5

The woman struggled to drag Merle back over to the couch in his semi conscious state. She felt light headed as she lifted him back onto the couch from the strain of it.

"Damn Merle!...you're killing me here!" She complained. Merle drifted in and out of consciousness the entire time, mumbling here and there.

Carefully she patched up the wound on his head. It didn't appear to be too bad just a bleeder but she often heard head wounds were. She had studied nursing briefly five years ago thinking of it as a possible career choice but couldn't keep up with the studying. Not that she wasn't smart enough to but she wasn't able to study as much as she needed and work enough to pay the bills so she dropped out of nursing school. Always a choice she regretted but at the same time didn't have much of a choice either.

"Daryl..." Merle mumbled.

The woman felt Merle's forehead and cheek...he was burning up with a fever.

"Daryl..." Merle called out again.

"Merle there's no one here named Daryl..." She told him.

"It's ok...it's ok..." Merle repeated. The woman wasn't sure if Merle was talking to her or just talking from the fever. She quickly learned his deliriousness from the fever and hard bump on the head, was doing the talking for him.

"I got you boy...ain't nobody else gonna hurt you...I got you. I'll kill those fuckers if I have to...all of 'em. I'm too big for 'em now but don't you worry...I ain't ever leavin' again and they ain't layin' another finger on ya..." Merle stated, matter of factly.

_Daryl...maybe a brother?..._ The woman was intrigued as to who and what Merle was talking about but the more she tried to talk to him the more she realized he wasn't hearing her at all.

"Merle...there ain't no Daryl here...who is he? Can I find him somewhere?" She asked.

"Sssshhhhhhh!...Stop that cryin' now...only babies cry...you ain't a baby no more...they like it when you cry...that's why you ain't gonna cry no more for 'em. Don't give 'em the satisfaction. I'll toughen you up yet here little brother...you're a Dixon! Dixon boys don't cry..." Merle said sternly

The woman let out a deep sigh not knowing for sure what she should do. She moved off the edge of the couch and curled up in the sleeping bag on the floor on the other side of the small room and just listened to Merle.

"I'm sorry Daryl...I'm sorry...I won't here to protect you...but I am now...and we're all we've got. Just you an' me. I'll take care of ya now...I'll be good...I promise...no more lockin' me up...I promise...I'll take good care of ya now on..."

The woman was surprised to hear an almost gentleness in Merle's voice.

"I promise..." Merle stated as he started to fade again.

"Who are you promising Merle? Someone else or yourself? And do you keep your promises?...I wonder..."

The woman was certainly more intrigued with Merle than before. She was starting to realize she had judged the book by it's cover quickly and there were layers in there she hadn't expected. She thought he was just some hard ass redneck that she'd probably regret helping but now she was beginning to see a softer side. One she was sure he probably didn't want her seeing.

Once Merle settled down and was quiet, she got up and got more medicine from her backpack. She pulled a few vials out and injected Merle with all of them. She hoped the antibiotics would help him fight off any infection that was brewing from his severed hand and shot him full of pain killers. She noticed the pill bottle she left for him was overturned and had rolled under the couch. He must've been looking for some when he took the spill down the stairs. Once he was conscious and coherent again she would show him where she left the pain meds for him so they wouldn't have a repeat of this. Besides, she didn't know if she could handle dragging him around much more. Merle wasn't an unusually large man but he was solid and felt like he weighed a ton although he didn't look it.

"People made me promises too Merle only they couldn't keep them...is that one of your demons? Broken promises to the ones you love?" The woman asked knowing full well he wouldn't respond.

The woman just stared at Merle. She had been alone for so long it was strange having someone around again. A part of her wanted to believe he was a good man but at the same time she had thought someone else was a good man too and look how horrid he turned out. Subconsciously she rubbed at the scar on her face as she watched Merle. She should just leave Merle with a bunch of meds and head out for some place else that might be safe. Thing was though, she was tired of being alone. Tired of having to be so strong by herself. She just wanted a moment to be weak and to finally rest, even if it was for only a little while. But clearly someone didn't think too kindly of Merle to put him in a position of having to cut off his own hand to free himself. She had only caught bits and pieces of the story from his sporadic ramblings. Clearly others didn't trust Merle and she should heed that as a warning. _So why bother helping him? _She didn't even have an answer for herself.

Merle jerked around slightly as if he were dreaming. The woman wished she could see what was going on in his head.

"Don't worry Merle...tomorrow we'll have ourselves another chat...besides...we need to figure out where to go from here...it ain't gonna be safe here for much longer and if we're gonna stick together...we need to figure out a plan...and you've got to get well..."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 6

"Girl...GIRL!..." Merle yelled as he slowly raised his hand to large knot on his head. He felt the bandage on his head, opened his eyes and saw the fresh bandage wrapped around his stub of a wrist.

The woman jumped awake, startled by Merle's shouting. "Stop yelling...you about gave me a heart attack..."

"What did ya do to me?" Merle complained as his head and wrist throbbed. "Feelin' all dizzy and shit..."

"That's probably from your spill down the stairs..." She replied.

Merle struggled to think for a moment but then suddenly the previous evening's events came rushing back. "Bitch you left me here with nothin'...you just left me to suffer here? What the fuck were you thinkin'?"

"You're such a bastard! Do you really think I'm that cold hearted of a bitch...I left you the pills by the couch...your dumbass must've kicked them underneath but I didn't leave you with nothing." She snapped back at him.

Merle quieted down for a moment and just stared at her. Her bangs were pulled back almost making her look as if she had a black skunk stripe in the middle of her pink hair from the roots showing so intensely. The pink was beginning to fade unevenly are the bleached areas of her hair.

"Why you done that shit to your hair...all pink and all...looks like shit..." Merle told her.

The woman slowly looked up at him and glared "Do you seriously want to go there? Cause if so we can certainly talk about the things about you that look like shit there stubby..."

"I'm just sayin'...you might even be pretty if you didn't fuck your hair up with that God Damn pink shit in there..." He replied.

"Well gee Merle you sure know how to talk to a woman...I'm sorry but catchin' me a man ain't at the top of my priority list...besides I happen to like my pink hair." She told him.

"You ever gonna tell me yer name?...maybe I should just make one up but you didn't seem to like the one I had for you before..." Merle chuckled to himself a little although he couldn't help but cringe a bit thinking back to her digging her thumb into his nub.

"What do you care Merle...really I mean...I'm assuming you'll get back on your feet and take off as soon as you can...maybe inflict some pain and suffering on whoever you think wronged you..." She replied.

Merle's smirk quickly dissipated and turned to an angry frown. "I don't THINK someone wronged me...I KNOW they did! I KNOW IT AND AIN'T NOBODY GONNA TELL ME OTHERWISE..."

"Calm down Merle...It ain't like I meant it like that...I don't need you all hollerin' here...you'll attract walkers if you keep that shit up." She told him.

"I'M JUST...I'm just sayin'...look at this..." Merle held up his hand-less arm..."You got any doubt now?"

"What did happen anyways Merle..." She asked.

"What's your name and I'll tell ya..." Merle insisted.

The woman just stared at Merle but he stared right back at her. She really didn't want to tell him her name. The last thing she wanted to do was get attached to him in anyway only to be let down. Besides Merle didn't seem like the type of person you wanted to get attached to anyways. Merle wasn't her type, stubborn redneck assholes were not her usual cup of tea and sex with Merle was the furthest thing from her mind. Not even if he was the last guy on earth and at the rate things were going that would certainly be a realistic scenario here soon. She was just tired of being by herself, not having anyone to help or anyone to even talk to. She really just wanted some company and someone she felt like she could depend on but Merle seemed the furthest thing from that.

The woman took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Fine...have it your way...my name is Gwendolyn...but people always called me Gwen..."

"Gwenny...now see was that so hard?" Merle asked.

"I said Gwen not Gwenny" She was already regretting telling him.

Merle laughed "Well I like Gwenny better so that's what I'm calling you..."

"Fine...now your turn..." Gwen demanded.

"My turn for what?" Merle asked.

Gwen looked annoyed at him. "You were gonna tell me what happened? About your wrist..."

Merle stopped laughing and they just stared at each other again. "Gimme some more pain meds..."

"You aren't due yet...I pumped you full pretty good after you fell down the stairs." She told him.

"I don't care...my head hurts and my wrist hurts...come on Gwenny...you gotta help ole Merle out here...I'm askin' nice..." Merle stated.

"Fine..." Gwen went over to her bag and grabbed a pill bottle. "Here...I found the good stuff when I was out earlier..." She handed Merle two pills.

Gwen got up and went to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen for Merle and returned with it. She could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance.

"Here you can wash it down with this...sounds like a storm's coming...kind of glad though...I always liked listening to the rain..." She told him.

Merle looked up at her as he took the glass of water. He could see she was starting to let her guard down with him. In some ways he was glad, it was hard to get well and recover being on edge all the time but now that she was starting to relax, Merle took it as a queue he could too. He just wanted to make sure she didn't get too relaxed. She was right, once he was better he was leaving and going back to camp and have himself a little reunion of his own with Rick and T-Dog. Time wasn't making him soft...it was giving him clarity of what he had to do and what they had coming. She seemed to take pretty good of herself on her own. Last thing he needed was some freak haired woman following him around like a lost puppy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 7

Gwen just sat there and stared at Merle for a moment as he laid back down and closed his eyes. He quickly drifted back off to sleep without saying another word. Annoyed Gwen shook her head in frustration. She was growing more curious by the day as to what happened for Merle to be so desperate to cut off his own hand. All she had gathered from his rambling was that he had been left for dead somewhere and that there was at least one person out there he cared about...Daryl...

Rain began to pour down hard and quickly against the window pane. Gwen could hear it through the spaces between the wooden planks that reinforced the windows. Standing up she peered out of one of the cracks and watched the rain pound against the walkers stumbling around outside. There weren't very many but it was still more than the day before. She wished the rain could just wash them all away but they didn't even seemed phased by it. Gwen knew she couldn't wait much longer. Whether Merle was ready to travel or not the next day she'd plan to head out of the city. She didn't want to wait until the area became over crowded with walkers and she was trapped inside. Whatever Merle decided to do was up to Merle but she had helped him all she could...

_"Merle...MERLE!" Someone shouted, startling Merle awake. Quickly he sat up and saw Daryl standing over him inside the house. Merle looked around but didn't see Gwen anywhere._

_"What the hell are you doing? Come on...you shoulda been up already...we got to go huntin'!" Daryl told him. _

_Merle slowly started to stand up, confused..._

_"Here...man what's the matter with ya? You gotta quit messin' with all that shit you take...slowing ya down...somebody else is gonna beat us to the best hunt so come on...quit being so slow!" Daryl handed Merle his rifle._

_Instinctively Merle went to grab the rifle with his right hand but as soon as he did he surprised himself by wrapping his fingers around the barrel. He held the rifle out away from his body and just stared at his hand in shock._

_"Merle? What's wrong with you?" Daryl asked._

_Merle looked up at Daryl, seeing Daryl looking confused as ever. "Nothin' come on let's go..." Merle replied.  
_

_Merle followed Daryl out to the truck and climbed in. He watched in awe as they drove down the road...there wasn't a walker in site. In fact, Merle was noticing how everything seemed so normal as they passed other cars along the road. _

_"Is this real?" Merle quietly asked himself as he look at his hand, opening and closing his fist as they drove down the road. _

_"What?" Daryl asked_

_"Nothin'...just drive..." Merle and Daryl didn't talk the rest of the way out to the woods. _

_Once there they both stepped out of the truck and started in head towards the tree line._

_"Hold up Daryl..." Merle told him. Daryl stopped and turned towards Merle._

_"What now?" Daryl asked annoyed. Merle noticed whenever Daryl was excited about doing anything he always acted like an impatient child if anyone slowed him down._

_"I just want to look at you for a second..." Merle said as he stepped closer and rested his right hand on Daryl's shoulder. He couldn't help but stare at his own hand still amazed to see it there. "You alright?...you doing alright ain't ya?" Merle asked. _

_Daryl looked at Merle's hand resting on his shoulder and then back at Merle. Merle was never one to be overly affectionate with brotherly love but Daryl knew this was Merle's big attempt at it. "You're startin' to freak me out brother...what's goin' on with you? You ain't actin' right...not like yourself..."_

_Merle struggled to find the words he wanted to say but couldn't seem to find any. "I just...I just wanted...fuck!" Merle became frustrated with himself as he looked down at his own feet._

_Merle looked back up at Daryl and saw a walker standing close behind him unbeknownst to Daryl. Quickly Merle raised his gun. "DAMMIT DARYL! BEHIND YOU!"_

_Merle tried to grip the trigger but couldn't feel it against his finger. Frantically he looked at his right hand and saw it was nothing but a bloody stub. "NO!" Merle screamed at the site of it. Desperately he looked back at Daryl and watched in horror as the walker bit into Daryl's neck and shoulder, dragging him to the ground._

_Daryl screamed out in pain for his brother._

_Merle fumbled with the rifle as he tried to get a good grip on it with his left hand but seemed to have no coordination in his hand at all. Merle watched in agony as the life quickly drained from Daryl's face._

_"DARYL!" Merle cried out to him desperately._

"DARYL!" Merle shouted as he sat up on the couch and stumbled to his feet.

"Merle? You ok?" Gwen rushed over next to him, grabbing him by the arms to help keep him steady.

Merle shoved her out of the way and headed towards the front door.

"DARYL! I'M COMIN'...HANG ON LITTLE BROTHER...I GOT YOU!" Merle shouted as he grabbed at the boards nailed across the door with his left hand, attempting to rip them out of the door frame.

"MERLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!" Gwen shouted at him as she ran over to him and tried pulling him away from the door.

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME...I GOTTA GET MY BROTHER...HE'S OUT THERE...I GOTTA GET HIM..." Merle shouted as he backed off the door and began kicking the panels.

"THEY'RE OUT THERE...THEY'LL HEAR YOU! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!" Gwen pleaded with Merle...she knew by now the walkers had to have heard them both. Merle continued yelling the whole time she tried to reason with him, carrying on about his brother and him needing his help. Desperate Gwen jumped on his back, wrapping her arm around his neck in a choke hold.

Merle grabbed at her arm and backed away from the door trying to shake her off but she wrapped her legs around his waist tightly and hung on for dear life.

"BITCH GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME GOD DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE! I GOTTA GET OUT THERE!" Merle yelled as he tried to throw her off his back but she tightened her grip. Merle started to feel light headed as she gripped tighter around his neck, starting to cut off his air.

Merle fell over backwards, landing on top of Gwen, still gripping her whole body around his back. They both grunted loudly as they hit the floor. Gwen whacked the back of her head on the floor but still refused to let go of Merle.

"FUCK MERLE! JUST STOP! ENOUGH! PLEASE!" She begged him.

A loud bang against the front door stilled both of them in their tracks. Merle quickly came to his senses, realizing what was on the other side.

"Ssshhhhh!" Merle said as they both held still and quiet. Gwen still with her legs wrapped around his waist, started to release him from the choke hold, careful not to make a sound. She placed her hands on the floor and started to push herself up, unwrapping her legs slowly. Merle sat up slowly still leaning against her until they were both upright but sitting on the floor.

They heard another bang, followed by another and another, each growing in rapid succession told them there was more than one walker on the other side of the door. The moaning and growling outside grew louder and louder. Gwen grabbed a hold of Merle's shoulder leaning in close, afraid the door would break from the force of the constant banging on the other side.

"Where's your weapons?" Merle whispered.

"In the living room..." She replied just as quietly.

"Don't just sit there dammit go get 'em..." Merle ordered.

Gwen quickly got to her feet and tried to quietly run into the living room, grabbing her handgun from next to her sleeping bag and grabbed a revolver from her backpack. She hurried back over to Merle and handed him the revolver. Merle looked at the cylinder and could see it was fully loaded. Gwen helped Merle to his feet and they both stood side by side facing the door with their guns raised, wide eyed and waited...


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 8

Merle felt as if they were standing there forever at the door with their guns raised just waiting for the first walker to bust through. His hand started to shake and his arm ached from holding the position for so long. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Gwen was having the same issue.

They both jumped as they heard a loud clap of thunder, followed by a crackling sound as if something was breaking. They both looked at one another and then Gwen ran over to the window as Merle remained standing guard at the door. Gwen peeked through the gap between the boards and saw the walkers, one by one start to leave the front porch and walk over to where there was a fallen tree. Gwen could see the singed areas of the broken tree begin to smoke.

She turned back to Merle and whispered "Lightening struck a tree…..I think it's distracted all of them from the porch."

Merle stood there, waited and just listened. Outside the door became quiet.

"That was too close…." Gwen said softly as she walked back over to Merle.

Merle stood face to face with Gwen in silence. He could tell she was pissed but he didn't care. He wasn't apologizing for anything. He wasn't himself for a moment but now his head was clear. It didn't, however, change the fact that he knew he needed to get out of there.

"It ain't safe here no more…" Merle said as he tucked the gun in the rear waist band of his jeans.

"Did I say you could keep that?" Gwen said in reference to the revolver she had given him.

A sly smile grew from the corners of Merle's mouth. "I don't recall asking your permission neither…."

Gwen sighed in frustration. She knew Merle would fight her to keep the gun and at that moment she was exhausted from the recent wrestling and adrenaline surge from him. The back of her head throbbed and her shoulder, which took the brunt of Merle's weight, was tender. In fact, her whole body was beginning to ache.

Merle began to step towards the living room and the whole room moved with him. He started to stumble when instinctively Gwen wrapped both her arms around him to steady him.

"Merle!" Gwen's expression of frustration quickly changed to concern as she was reminded he was far from being well.

Merle steadied himself as he grasped onto her bicep. She was skinny and looked frail but she definitely had muscle where it counted. Thinking back to all the things she had done to help him, Merle was beginning to appreciate how strong she really was. He started to laugh.

"What's so damn funny?" Gwen asked confused and beginning to get irritated again.

"Oh…..I was just thinking…..there are things I gotta take care of him…people I need to find….I was thinking before how I didn't want you slowing me down….looks like the only one of us slowin' someone down is me…." Merle stated as they worked their way back to the living and over to the couch. Merle plopped down equally as exhausted as she was if not more so.

Gwen rested the back of her hand against his forehead. He was burning up. "You're running another fever…" She avoided addressing what he just said to her because she wasn't sure how to take it. All this time she had been thinking about what to do with him and when to leave and he had been thinking the same thing in regards to her. "I'll get you some aspirin. Just lay back down for a bit."

She headed towards the kitchen for water and when she returned with a glass she saw him standing in front of the window, looking through the crack.

"Merle….you need to not be up moving around…you're sick…probably from an infection from that stump of yours….."

"Shit….there's tons of them out there…..we can't stay here anymore….we need to make a break for it." Merle told her.

"You're not in any condition to be on the road….. Lay back down, I'll get your daily dose of antibiotics as well….." Gwen told him.

Merle turned his head towards her sharply. "Woman did you not just hear what I said…..ain't no time to be lying around playin' nursemaid here….we gotta go and we gotta go now…"

Gwen knew he was right…with all the walkers she had seen she knew they'd have a hard time even getting out now….they couldn't wait any longer. "Fine….I'll pack up the supplies but while I'm doing so take your meds and lay down….I need you to be the best you can be when we move to make an exit…..understood?"

Merle nodded. He normally didn't take orders from anyone, let alone a woman but he honestly felt like shit. He laid on the couch and listened to her running around from room to room, gathering up anything important. He noticed she had two more backpacks along with the one with all the medical supplies when she re-entered the living. She was slightly out of breath.

"This one has all the medicine, medical supplies and what little ammo I have left. The other one is mine with a couple of changes of clothes and maybe a can or two of beans. That's it for my food supply. I've been out and haven't been able to find anything else. The third one's yours….there were some men's clothes upstairs, I grabbed a few things that look like they will fit you. There are also some knives in there along with a few tools I found around the house here. We each have a water bottle in the pocket on the side. I filled them both with water I boiled this morning but I'm out of matches now and don't have any camping gear. Our supplies suck at the moment so we'll need to keep that in mind while we're on the road." Gwen told him. "I also have everything wrapped in garbage bags inside our backpacks to try to keep everything dry. The rain's starting to pick up again…as soon as we get someplace dry I'll need to re-bandage your wrist." Gwen rolled up her sleeping bag, wrapped it with a garbage bag and tied it to the bottom of her back pack. "Don't know if this is going to be good enough with that rain but let's hope so…."

Merle struggled to sit up and took a deep breath. He was still feeling light headed and realized when she mentioned the beans he hadn't eaten the whole time he had been with her. In fact, he hadn't seen her eat except for the one time in the beginning when he first woke up in the house. It would be a struggle for both of them until they could have a somewhat decent meal but they'd both have to do their best to push through. "Alright…let's move….what have we got for wheels?"

"Just that white truck…van…whatever you call that thing you were driving when I found you…parked out back. We'll have to climb out the second story window to get out of the house…." Gwen replied. "Here….give me your left leg…."

"What?" Merle replied confused.

Gwen started to unbuckle the holster attached to her left thigh. "I don't want to risk you dropping the gun or not being able to reach it once you have a pack on.

Merle stood up and extended his leg and she fastened the holster around it. She lifted up the back of his shirt, removing the gun and shoved it into the holster.

"How's that?" She asked.

Merle drew the weapon a few times, then shoved it back in ad nodded his head.

He followed her upstairs to the second floor and watched her remove the plywood board that was leaning against one of the windows. She pushed open the window and climbed out onto the slanted roof. She had one backpack on her back and was carrying the other. She had helped Merle into his and tightened the straps securely over his shoulders. He struggled to stay steady on the slanted roof as he followed her out. The rain beat down on both of them and was so loud there was no use in trying to talk since the only way they could hear one another would be through yelling and the last thing they wanted to do was bring more attention to themselves. Gwen pointed at the truck just a few feet from the back of the house. Merle couldn't see if there were any walkers on the other side but towards the back about 300 feet there was a small cluster. There was also one stumbling around the front. The majority of the walkers appeared to be at the front of the house and in the street. Gwen motioned for Merle to come to the edge beside her and he carefully did so. She mouthed on three and Merle nodded his head he understood. She slowly raised three fingers one by one and on the third they both jumped from the roof onto the ground. Merle stumbled slightly as he landed and quickly drew the revolver from the holster. Gwen had jumped down so many times from the roof she had become a pro at it. The walker started to come towards her from the front of the truck, hissing and growling at her the whole way. With a single shot, a bullet pierced through its skull, dropping it to the ground. Quickly she jumped in the driver's side of the truck. Merle ran to the passenger side instantly greeted by a walker. He kicked at it with his right foot pushing it back giving him enough distance between them to raise his gun and fire. Merle jumped into the truck, rested his gun on the seat and reached across himself to close the door. He felt as if he was moving through molasses, he'd have to relearn how to do almost everything and pick up his speed with just one hand if he expected to continue to survive.

"COME ON! WHATCHA WAITIN' FOR?" Merle yelled at her.

Gwen turned the key, struggling to start the truck. On her fourth try it finally started as Merle watched through the side view mirror, the once small group which had quickly turned into a large group, head towards the back of the truck. Gwen stomped on the gas and they tore off, spinning wheels and kicking up mud as they drove off. Gwen plowed through the group of walkers in the street not even trying to avoid them. They made it to the main road where the number of walkers started to dwindle.

They both breathed a sigh of relief. It had gone much smoother than either had envisioned.

"Damn!...wait…if that was the only way out of the house…how the hell did you get me in there?" Merle asked.

Gwen thought for a moment and then rolled her eyes. Suddenly she felt very stupid. She covered her mouth with her hand and did her best to suppress her laughter.

"What the fuck you laughing at? You mean there was an easier way outta that house and your dumb ass has me jumping off the roof? God damn bitch!" Merle state angrily. He ran his hands through his wet hair and then shook his head hard.

"Hey watch it! You're getting me wet over hear….I'm wet enough as it is already!" Gwen replied through her laughter.

"Fucking bitch…" Merle mumbled again. "I could've broke my damn leg…"

Gwen slowly stopped laughing. "I'm sorry…I really am…I didn't even think of it I'm so used to going in and out that way. When I first got back with you I left you outside while I climbed back up on the roof and went inside."

"You fuckin' left me outside with all those damn walkers around? This supposed to be makin' me feel better?" Merle asked.

"Shut up Merle….there weren't that many then…..I pried the wood panels off the back door and dragged you in that way. I ended up pushing a book case against the door after and just piled a bunch of heavy shit on there instead of trying to hammer the panels back…I was afraid the noise would attract more walkers…..I swear I forgot all about it." She said as she started to laugh again.

"Yeah….you just laugh it up…." Merle said as he leaned his head back. Not only was he already sick, he was soaking wet. "Just drive dammit and get us somewhere fast. I'm gonna freeze my balls off in these wet clothes come night time if we ain't someplace safe."

"God knows we don't want you losing anymore parts….." Gwen replied as she glanced over at him smiling.

Merle initially glared at her but then quickly started to smirk before he turned back away and stared ahead. "Just shut up and drive…"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Dammit! Come on….." Gwen banged on the steering wheel in frustration as the truck came to a rolling stop.

Merle jerked awake, startled by her noise. "What the hell we stoppin' for?"

"We're out of gas….and we didn't even make it to the freeway….fuck!" Gwen could see the exit ramp from where they were.

Quickly they both scanned the area for walkers but didn't see many and the few they did, luckily for them weren't nearby.

"I wasted too much gas having to take so many detours to avoid large groups of walkers. It took us hours just to get this far when it shouldn't have even taken a half an hour! This fucking sucks!" Gwen complained.

"Doesn't look too bad here for right now. Come on, let's scavenge the area for food and supplies. There's bound to be somethin' useful around here." Merle told her as he opened the passenger door. "Take all the shit just in case for some reason we can't get back to the truck….you never know…."

Gwen nodded and grabbed both her backpacks. She walked around to the passenger side, helping Merle with his.

Gwen had done plenty of running around on her own around the city but it never ceased to amaze her what a ghost town everything was. They walked down a few streets looking for places to hit and came upon a hardware store.

"Now this is what I'm talkin' about!" Merle stated, seeming excited. Merle pushed on the door but it was locked. "Fuck this….." Merle flung his backpack off and struggling with the zipper managed to open it and grab out a hammer that Gwen had tucked inside. He started to swing at the front window when Gwen yelled at him.

"WAIT!...hang on a sec….." Gwen said as she looked up and down the street. It seemed to be clear. "Alright….."

Merle smashed the window to pieces and stepped inside. He turned back to look at Gwen and noticed she was staring down the street. "What is it? You see a walker?"

"No….even better…..a small grocery….." She said as she turned back towards him and smiled. "Here…" She tossed his backpack in the window to him. "Get whatever is good and I'm going to look for food…"

Gwen ran down the street a short distance and was able to push in the door to the grocery store. Someone had attempted to block entry with a shelf but apparently someone else had accessed the place so many of the shelves were empty. Slightly disappointed Gwen still hoped for the best of finding something. She began to search through all the shelves and grabbed any can she saw. Once her hands were full, she ran over behind one of the cash registers and found a canvas bag with the grocer's name screen printed on the front. She piled all the canned goods she could find in there not bothering to read what they were. Beggars couldn't be choosers so it made no difference what she was finding. They could go through it all later. She didn't want to waste time out in the open and wanted them to get in and out before the area got over run with walkers. She squatted down to reach the items on a lower shelf when she heard a noise next to her.

"Merle….I don't know what….." She started to say as she looked towards the noise but saw a walker charge towards her. "SHIT!" Gwen panicked as she tried to get to her feet but stumbled over some of the items left on the floor by others that had ransacked the place. She fell back hard onto the floor and frantically reached to either side of her for something to protect herself from the walker.

She managed to grab hold of a display rack and pull it over in front of her just before the walker jumped on top of her. It landed on the rack but the rack was wide enough to keep Gwen just out of the walker's reach but the added weight of the walker and the rack caused a shelf to start to dig into her rib cage. She felt as if all her ribs were about to break as she pushed with all her might, trying to push the walker and the rack off of her. She struggled as the walker clawed at her, barely missing her with each swipe.

Gwen was too afraid to scream in fear of attracting more. She kept pushing but could feel her arms begin to shake from exhaustion. She was losing strength and couldn't figure out how she was going to get out of the mess she now found herself in.

Suddenly she heard a loud "whack" and watched as the walker went limp, bowing his head forward to reveal a hand axe sticking out of the back of its skull.

"Get this bitch off me!" Gwen yelled, hoping for Merle but honestly not caring who as long as they got her out of there.

Merle stepped closer and pushed the walker onto the floor with a thud and helped Gwen out from underneath the rack. Gwen clutched at her ribs in pain and struggled to take a deep breath.

"Look what I found….." Merle said proudly as he placed his foot on the walker's head and yanked the axe out of its skull. "You should see what else I got!"

Gwen could see Merle had a large duffle bag, criss-crossed over his chest and backpack. "Got us some good stuff…." He said almost as excited as a kid in a candy store.

Gwen finally caught her breath. "I bagged up some canned stuff…not a lot to choose from but there's bound to be something half decent in there" She said as she pointed towards the bag on the floor next to the shelf.

"Looks like somebody beat you here….. Well come on….looks like it's gonna pour down again any minute. We'll stay in the back of the truck tonight….it's as safe a place as any around here….." Merle told her.

"But Merle there's no gas…what's the point in going back?" Gwen asked.

"Got a hose in here…." Merle said as he gestured to the duffle bag. "Left a gas can at the front of the store when I heard the commotion back here…..you're lucky I came just in time….come on…like I said…the sky's about to open up."

Gwen hurriedly followed Merle back towards the truck but about half way back it was like a small monsoon hit them. Gwen struggled to not get blown off balance from the wind and rain as they ran as best they could back to the truck. Merle grabbed a hold of one of the back doors and they both jumped inside rear box portion of the truck. Dropping all the bags at their feet inside, Merle stumbled up front to look out the cab area to make sure it still was clear of walkers. The rain steadily poured so hard he almost couldn't even see far enough to know for sure but he figured they were as safe there as they would be anywhere else. Gwen leaned against the wall of the back of the truck and took a deep breath.

"Do you think we'll be safe here?" She asked Merle.

Merle climbed up to the front making sure both doors were locked and stepped back from the front and walked back towards her. "No….but ain't nowhere safe now…"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Gwen rung out her hair as best she could then opened up her back pack and pulled some dry clothes from the garbage bag inside. She started to take off her shirt when she looked over at Merle and saw him staring at her.

"Do you mind?" She asked as she waited for Merle to turn around as she got undressed.

"What?...I ain't stoppin' ya! I already know the carpet don't match the drapes if that's what you're worried about!" Merle stated as he laughed out loud.

"Oh yeah….that's hilarious Merle…..now turn around so I can change….I'm freezing in these wet clothes." Gwen told him.

Merle continued to laugh as he turned his back towards her. Gwen paused to makes sure he wouldn't just turn all the way around like a smart ass and once she felt he'd stay put she started to change.

Gwen had turned partially sideways with mainly her back towards Merle. Slowly Merle turned his head around and watched her from the corner of his eye so she wouldn't catch him staring. Even though he didn't have any plans to make a move on her, he was still Merle after all and looking wouldn't hurt. As he watched her get dressed, he noticed all the black and blue bruises on her back and figured she got most of those from him during their wrestling match earlier that morning. He could also see a red mark forming on her rib cage that looked fresh, he assumed from her close up with the walker at the grocery store. She was certainly banged up and bruised. Gwen tucked her hair behind her ear showing off the scar he previously noticed down the side of her face near her hairline.

"What's that from?" Merle asked

Gwen looked over at Merle as she pulled the t-shirt on over her head. "Thought you weren't supposed to be lookin'…" She remarked.

"You just asked me to turn around…so I turned around….." Merle smiled back at her slyly.

"You're impossible….." Gwen remarked seeming annoyed.

"Come on Gwenny….just havin' a little fun is all….don't worry….your ugly ass hair is a bit of a turn off for me…..besides….you can get even by watchin' me change outta my wet clothes." Merle remarked with a grin.

"Ug!" Gwen replied "No thanks…..I'll pass…."

Merle struggled to open his backpack but managed to pull out his own set of dry clothes. Gwen unzipped her sleeping bag and laid it out on the floor of the truck and sat on top with her back against the wall as she started looking through the cans for something to eat. She did her best not to laugh at all of Merle's grunting and groaning as he struggled to change his clothes.

"What the fuck you laughin' at? I don't see you offerin' to help." Merle snapped at her as he began to get frustrated.

"Sorry Merle….I figured you were a big boy and could dress yourself by now." She stated, not bothering to look at him as she continued sorting through the cans.

"God Dammit…..this shit ain't easy with just one hand…" Merle complained.

Gwen looked up and saw Merle with his pants barely on his hips and tangled up in his shirt with most of it still over his head. Gwen couldn't help but burst out laughing from the sight.

"Quit fuckin' laughin' and help me out dammit!" Merle barked.

"Ok…..ok….just calm down…." Gwen stated through the laughter. She got up and walked over to Merle and helped untangle his shirt and pulled it down. She started to sit back down when Merle called out to her.

"WELL?..." Merle asked.

Gwen turned around confused "Well what?"

Merle looked down at his pants and stared back up at her.

"Oh HELL no!" Gwen remarked although Merle did look like a helpless child just learning to dress himself at that moment.

"Come on Gwenny…..it's just gonna take bit for me to get used to all this one hand shit….man….you think I like havin' to ask for help like this?" Merle complained.

"Fine…but I swear to God if you try any funny stuff…." Gwen walked back over and zipped and buttoned his pants then walked back over to the sleeping bag and sat down. "Come on…sit down and I'll rewrap your wrist….you don't want that to stay wet.

Merle sat down on the sleeping bag next to her as she grabbed the first aid supplies and some medication from the backpack. She started to carefully unwrap his wrist and Merle flinched as she got closer to the actual wound. With the bandage being wet it came off more easily but Gwen didn't like all the puss and goo that oozed from his wound.

"Damn Merle…..I don't know what to think about all this…..I guess it could be worse but it don't look good either." Gwen remarked. "I think we should wait a bit before covering it back up….let it air out a little. Might do it some good while we're sitting still."

"I'm starved….whatcha got to eat?" Merle asked.

"Well…there's a huge selection of beans….spam and Vienna sausages….mmmm good!" Gwen said sarcastically. "What I wouldn't give for a freakin' pizza right now."

"I'd love me a big ass juicy steak!" Merle remarked as he leaned against the wall next to Gwen. "And a baked potato with rolls and that fancy butter….you know the kind that tastes like honey?"

Gwen opened a can of beans and the spam. Although she always hated spam she figured she'd love it right about now. Merle had scored some camping equipment with a couple plates, forks and knives in the duffle bag. Gwen split the two cans between them on the plates and handed one to Merle. He rested it on his lap and they both began to eat.

"You never answered my question….." Merle stated with a mouthful of food.

"What question?" Gwen replied.

"About that scar of yours and how you got it…." Merle replied staring at his plate continuing to shovel food in his mouth between words.

"Uh…as I recall I asked you about your hand and you never told me….." Gwen remarked.

Merle paused from eating and looked at her. "Alright….you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine…" He said with a grin.

"Do you have to make everything sound perverted?" Gwen asked as she looked at him. Merle just shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating.

"Fine….it's from when everything first started going downhill….I had joined up with a small group….there was a guy that was part of the group….everyone else had been killed and it was just the two of us….thought he could be trusted but in the end the only person he was concerned about protecting was himself…we were in an apartment when a couple of walkers busted in…..I had a baseball bat and he had a knife…..I thought we were going to try and fight them off together but the next thing I knew he grabbed me around the neck, cut the side of my face and pushed me to the floor…..guess he thought if I was bleeding the walkers would go after me first…" Gwen stared at her plate the whole time she spoke and just pushed at her food with her fork.

"How'd you make it out?" Merle asked as he listened intensely.

"Just kept swinging the bat…..couldn't see what the hell I was hitting with blood running into my eye but I just got back on my feet as fast as I could and started swinging as he ran out the window and down the fire escape. Somehow I managed to fight them off….cracking them all in the head….still not quite sure how I managed to do it on my own….but somehow I did." Gwen stated.

"And the guy?..." Merle asked.

"No idea…..disappeared…..I have no clue what happened to him….but I swear if I ever run into him again….he better hope he ain't needing any help because he certainly won't be getting it from me." Gwen replied as she started to eat again.

They both sat there silently for a moment until Gwen spoke up again. "Alright Merle…..so tell me….."

Merle hesitated but began to tell her the events of what happened on the roof. He even told her he thought T-Dog dropped the key on purpose and how Rick Grimes just showed up out of nowhere and took over like he was their fearless leader. Gwen cringed as Merle talked about what it was like cutting off his own hand and having to cauterize the wound.

"But I'm gonna get back to camp….pay them all a friendly visit…then they will all know what it's like to suffer like I have…..they gonna wish that door hadn't been chained and that those geeks had gotten me….I'm gonna make them all wish they had thought twice about leaving ole Merle for dead. They're all gonna pay one way or another….." Merle just stared off at the opposite side of the truck.

Gwen couldn't help but get the chills just listening to Merle. His whole demeanor and tone to his voice changed when he talked about it. She had no doubt in her mind he was serious but one thing was for sure, she was grateful not to be on his bad side.

Gwen cleared her throat a little nervous to speak to him at that moment. "And Daryl?..."

As soon as she spoke his name Merle snapped his head towards her. He started to relax and shook his head. "That boy…can't imagine how he's doin' without me…..one thing about my baby brother….he tries….tries real hard…..but he don't do well on his own….ain't nobody gonna ever treat him with respect…..they'll just treat him like trash….like they always have and all he does is look for approval. I tried to break him of that myself. Don't know why he cares what others think so much. He won't admit it but he do…don't get me wrong…he's a Dixon and Dixons are tough but he's got a soft spot…that's the worst part about him….he can be soft, that's why I don't like him being out there without me….he don't know what to do with himself without me to guide him…you know what I mean?"

Gwen smirked "Yeah I know…..but I hate to break it to you Merle but I don't think he's the only Dixon with a soft spot…."

Merle grew angry at the thought of her calling him soft. That's one thing he wasn't and how dare she think otherwise. Infuriated, Merle threw his plate across the truck, turned towards her, getting up on his knees and smacked the plate and fork right out of her hand. With his right arm he pressed hard against her chest, leaning in close, partially pinning her arms so she couldn't maneuver easily and grabbed her by the throat with his left hand and squeezed just enough for her to know he meant business.

"Don't you ever call me soft again you freak! EVER! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Merle breathed heavily in her face and she could see his eyes burned with anger. She was almost paralyzed by her own fear but did her best to try to squirm away from him.

Merle gave her a shove as he released her and she instantly put her hands against her throat. Her eyes filled with tears but she fought them back. He had caught her completely off guard. Merle stood up and walked to the other side of the truck.

He stared at her from the other side as he sat there leaning against the wall facing her. "Don't you ever forget that…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 11

Gwen sat in silence, just glaring at Merle. He had settled in on the opposite side of the truck and had already fallen asleep. She couldn't help but be angry by what happened earlier. There she was, feeling stupid for letting her guard down. Merle couldn't be trusted, just like everyone else. If he so easily flew off the handle over something so petty, there was no telling what he was really capable of. She didn't know why a part of her still held out hope that there were people still worth investing in, especially after all she had been through. She wondered if she had just become so desperate for human companionship that her judgement beginning to cloud.

Hours passed before Gwen's adrenaline surge from Merle settled down enough for her to fall asleep. Her dreams were full of life before the outbreak. When she woke up she even more depressed than she was when she fell asleep. She heard Merle stirring around in the truck but she had turned her back towards him and he wasn't able to tell she was awake. She listened as Merle muttered to himself.

"God dammit...fuckin' cuff me to a roof, look at me...I gotta fuckin' reteach myself how to do everythin'..."

She could hear Merle's footsteps come closer towards her as she couldn't help but tense up.

"Come on sleepin' beauty...we gotta roll..." Merle stated as he gently shoved her with his foot.

Gwen didn't utter a word to Merle...she was still pissed from the night before and figured she'd stay mad until she got even or he apologized, which ever came first.

"Come on...gotta siphon us some gas from some of these cars...can't do this shit by myself." Merle complained.

Gwen followed him out and they raided what cars they could. There were a few walkers out but nothing they couldn't handle. Once they had enough gas they made their way back to the truck and filled it up. It wasn't enough for a full tank but it could at least get them out of the city.

They climbed back into the truck and Gwen started up the engine and headed for the interstate. Driving out of the city turned out to be a little more challenging than she expected. Parts of the road were almost completely blocked by other cars and Gwen struggled to find a crossover point to drive down the interstate the "wrong way". Merle barked orders at her, directing where she should go the entire time. Gwen was starting to get more irritated until she finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you want to fuckin drive yourself?" Gwen snapped at him.

She could see the sly grin on Merle's face out of the corner of her eye but she refused to directly look at him.

"What's the matter sweetness?...Woke up on the wrong side of the truck this morning? Merle laughed.

Gwen ignored him and continued to drive.

"Oh I get it...the silent treatment...trust me Gwenny...you ain't the first woman to pull that shit with me...you still sore about last night?...well...guess I don't blame you...I'm still sore about a few things myself." Merle stated as he looked at his handless wrist.

"Is that your attempt at an apology?" Gwen finally asked.

"I ain't apologizing for shit..." Merle stated.

Gwen sighed in frustration.

Merle laughed. "Aw now come on...besides...you deserved it with the shit you were talking so don't act like you're all hurt..."

Gwen slammed on the brakes, throwing Merle hard into the dash. Merle hollered in pain from the pressure against his wrist. "GOD DAMMIT BITCH!"

Gwen looked at him coldly and slowly started to drive again. "Oh did that hurt? Well...I don't apologize for shit so I'm sure you'll get over it..."

Gwen smiled to herself knowing full well she had pissed off Merle but he'd be busy nursing his wound and she was able to shut him up for a few miles.

Merle motioned for her to turn off the main road.

"Where are we going?" Gwen finally asked.

"Back to my old camp...I've got a debt to settle..." Merle stated as he clutched his wrist close to his chest.

"What are you planning to do?" Gwen asked "How many are there?"

Merle kept his eyes straight ahead on the road. "Just drive..."

.

Gwen pulled up to an area that had obviously been used as someone's camp. She wondered if this was where Merle had been leading her all along or if they were in the wrong place.

"Is this it?" Gwen asked

"Stop the truck...STOP THE TRUCK!" Merle yelled.

Gwen barely had the truck in park when Merle jumped out. Gwen soon followed after him and watched as he frantically looked around as if confused.

"You gotta be kiddin' me...where are they?...WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?" Merle yelled. He started to kick at any remnants of camp that he found.

"Merle..." Gwen interrupted his tantrum and pointed to a pile of burned bodies...Gwen assumed they were walkers.

Merle continued to stomp around the camp as Gwen trailed behind him. Gwen wasn't paying close attention to Merle not realizing he stopped and she walked straight into the back of him. Merle didn't budge or say a word. Gwen stepped out from behind him to see what he was staring at.

Gwen couldn't help but be shocked by what had stopped Merle dead in his tracks. There were graves and and many of them.

"Wow...looks like hell broke lose here in your camp..." Gwen remarked.

"Come on..." Merle said emotionless as he walked closer to the graves then knelt down next to one.

"What are you doing?" Gwen asked confused as she stepped closer to him.

Merle started to dig into the dirt with his one bare hand. "We're gonna dig 'em all up..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 12

Gwen grabbed at Merle's arm but he shrugged her off. "Bitch either get the fuck off me and help or fucking leave..."

"Merle...you can't dig up these graves...what the hell?" Gwen started to wonder if Merle was just losing his mind.

"I ain't leavin 'til I know for sure my brother ain't here..." Merle stated.

Gwen just watched Merle intensely dig. _This is bullshit..._She thought to herself. Gwen paced back and forth trying to figure out what to do. She was half tempted to just leave Merle behind and go on her way but on the other hand...no matter how much of a jerk Merle was, even one handed she was quickly learning he could hold his own and having a sense of help even if the price was Merle, somehow still seemed worth it. She was tired of being on her own.

"Damn it Merle...you're gonna fucking owe me big time for this!" Gwen remarked as she stomped her way over to one of the graves and started digging. "I don't even know who the fuck I'm looking for..."

"Just shut up and dig...I ain't leavin 'til I know he ain't here...soon as you got 'em uncovered I'll come look...otherwise shut the fuck up and dig." Merle barked.

They dug for hours, the smell of decomposing flesh mixed with dirt and insects made Gwen nauseous as she fought the acid that was burning it's way up from her stomach. They were both a filthy mess but Merle was on a mission. He mumbled to himself the entire time and Gwen just did her best to keep her mind off of what she was actually doing. They finally came to the last grave and they both rushed to dig, trying to finish before the darkness of the night fell.

"It ain't him neither..." Merle said as he staggered away from the grave sites, exhausted by their hard days work under the searing sun. Gwen followed after him, relieved they were finally done. Before she could even speak Merle dropped to his knees. Gwen watched in surprise as Merle fought back his own tears, attempting to wipe them away with the back of his forearm only succeeding to wipe more dirt on his face.

Slowly she stepped closer towards him and gently rested her hand on his shoulder. Merle turned towards her and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her stomach as he wept. Gwen gently wrapped her arm around his head and held him close. As much as Merle didn't deserve her comfort, she couldn't help but give it. She had a soft spot for Merle and she wasn't quite sure why. From the moment she met him, she had made decisions that went against everything she had told herself to keep herself safe. It wasn't like Merle was someone she had or wanted a relationship with. If she had that would at least have made sense...something about Merle endeared himself to her, she just didn't know what it was.

Losing control of his own emotions, surprised even Merle. Daryl was the only family he had in the entire world and the hope that he was still alive, surviving, in the end was all Merle wanted to make sure of. Merle had plans of his own for the others, but one thing he wanted without a doubt was to know Daryl was ok...with or without him. Not finding him buried amongst the dead was a start.

Roughly Merle shoved Gwen away from him and rose to his feet. "Come on...gotta find someplace before dark..." he barked at her.

.

Neither spoke as they headed off down the road. They drove about ten miles as it started to get dark and Gwen pulled off onto a dirt road.

"We don't have much gas left...guess we should just stay in the truck another night, save what little gas we have to search for a more permanent place tomorrow." Gwen stated as she climbed into the back of the truck. She didn't bother to roll out her sleeping bag with as filthy as she was from digging all day. Starving, she dug into the duffel bag for something to eat.

"Permanent place huh?...You ready to curl on up and play house with good ole Merle?" Merle laughed as he followed her into the back of the truck.

Gwen just made a face and didn't respond.

"What?...still sore about last night I take it?...well...figured you'd been over that by now..." Merle remarked

Gwen pulled out two cans of Vienna sausages and plopped one down in front of Merle with the fork stuck in it and opened one for herself. She positioned herself against the wall of the truck and just stared at Merle as she began to eat.

"I just don't get you Merle...I mean look at me...I'm freakin' covered with dirt...I spent the whole day digging up rotting corpses looking for your damn brother! A brother who is God knows where..." Gwen snapped at him.

Merle shoved the food in his mouth and just looked at her as she spoke. If she hadn't known of his partial breakdown, from as nonchalant as he was acting now, she wouldn't have believed he had an ounce of emotion about anything.

"And you have nothing to say...not a thank you...nothin'...I swear I don't even know why I bother with you...other than I've probably just lost my own mind." Gwen remarked and directed her attention back to her food.

They both sat there is silence before Merle finally spoke up. "Well I don't make it habit to thank or apologize to nobody..."

Gwen cut him off before he couldn't finish." Yeah...no shit..."

"Don't get no 'tude with me...I'm sayin' somethin' right now and you're gonna listen cause I'm only saying it once...guess I did go too far last night but that shit pissed me off but I won't really tryin' to hurt ya...and what you did today...lookin' out for my brother in all...Ole Merle will always have your back for that..."

It wasn't much of an apology or thank you to most standards but Gwen could hear it in Merle's voice that he meant it. Merle was a tough bastard. There was no denying that and all she really longed for was to feel safe again...


	13. Chapter 13

**There have been a lot of visitors for this story but very few reviews! I'd really love some feedback on what you think….and again I do not own any rights to The Walking Dead, it's characters, no copyright infringement intended. Please Review!**

Chapter 13

Gwen woke up in the back of the truck feeling like she had slept forever. The sun beamed on the front cab of the truck and was so bright she couldn't even see out of it. She looked around and didn't see Merle.

She cautiously opened one of the back doors and peered out. She could hear someone talking and figuring it was just Merle talking to himself, she stepped out and started to head towards the voice. As soon as turned the corner of the truck she froze in her tracks. Two men were standing next to the driver's door peering into the front but quickly diverted their attention to Gwen.

One of the men was short and burly looking. He grinned a toothless grin at her. He looked as if he hadn't bathed in months and even with the distance that was between them the stench coming from him confirmed it as well. The man had a large hunting knife in his hand as he turned and slowly started to walk towards her.

The other man was taller and lean, he had dark circles under his eyes and his head was shaved. He too shared the same dental routine with the other man as Gwen noticed one of his front teeth missing. He carried a shotgun in his hands.

"Well….well…well….what do we have here?" The burly man stated as he stepped closer towards her.

"My husband's just takin' a piss in the woods….he'll be right back…you two better high tail it outta here or he'll be none too happy when he finds ya…." Gwen stated praying her voice wouldn't crack. There was no question in her mind only bad things would come from her being left alone with these men.

Before they even had a chance to respond, Gwen took off running into the woods, weaving in and out of the trees as fast as she could. She realized she didn't have a weapon on her as branches and bushes scraped across her arms and legs, sometimes a few scratching across her cheek. She glanced over her shoulder and saw both men gaining on her but as she started to look back ahead; she tripped over a tree root and found herself crashing to the ground. She scrambled back to her feet and tried to continue running but one of the men grabbed her by the wrist and jerked her back hard.

Gwen felt her shoulder pop as it separated from the joint. She couldn't help but scream from the pain as she fell back towards the ground.

"Damn bitch! We got you now!" One of the men exclaimed.

As soon as Gwen felt the hands on her legs she began kicking both as hard as she could, her foot making contact to the tall man's jaw. Gwen heard a crack knowing full well she broke it as the man yelled and stumbled back, falling on his hip as he dropped his shotgun on the ground. The burly man grabbed her by her hair and started to drag her closer towards him. Gwen kicked and clawed at him as hard as she could, her right arm almost useless from being dislocated and the pain that shot through her right shoulder. Nevertheless, she fought the man with all her might as she continued to scream.

The burly man punched her hard twice, once in the face and once in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her.

"That should shut you up you fuckin' whore…gonna bring a whole heard of walkers down on us with screamin' like that."

Gwen gasped for air as she writhed in pain on the ground.

The burly man laughed as he helped up the tall man and shoved his shot gun against his chest. Gwen could hear the man attempt to speak all of which sounded like mumbled garbage as he spit out blood from his mouth.

"Damn girl got you good Larry…..gotta watch yourself next time…that's alright though….they'll be plenty of time to get even with her.

Gwen struggled to get back on her feet as she watched the tall man step closer to her but before she stabilized her footing enough to defend herself, he cracked her hard against her skull with the butt of the shotgun. Gwen was out before she even managed to hit the ground.

.

Merle walked back up to the back of the truck and noticed one of the doors open on the back. He stopped and looked around but didn't see Gwen or anyone else for that matter. Cautiously he approached the back and looked in noticing it was empty. Confused, he started to close the door back as he heard a scream come from the woods on his left.

"GWENNY?...GWEN?" Merle called out to her and stepped into the woods. He heard her scream again as he began to run towards the sound.

Merle's blood began to boil…_damn bitch….I'm gone for just a bit and you've already managed to get yourself into trouble…_Merle didn't have time to play the hero with her but he couldn't ignore her in need either. When he got his hands on her, he was going to have a tough talking to her.

Merle followed the sound of her screams but abruptly she fell silent. Merle stopped running for a moment and listened. He wanted to call out to her again but he had a feeling deep down in the pit of his stomach that this wasn't just Gwen fighting with walkers. Merle crept closer towards the direction he thought her screams were coming from until he saw two male figures standing next to each other.

Merle moved silently through the woods. All his years of hunting with Daryl were proving more and more beneficial in the new world they all found themselves in. Merle observed one of the men with a shotgun as he watched them rip Gwen's shirt and bra off. Both men laughed as they roughly groped at her breasts, although one kept one hand secured against his jaw. The man with the hurt jaw stood up and backed off as he fumbled with his belt buckle. Merle chuckled to himself knowing full well it was easier said than done with one hand as he crept closer. The burly man yanked her pants and underwear off and tossed them aside.

"Alright Larry….you can go first….give it to her good and teach her a lesson for what she done to ya…." The man said as he turned towards the tall man just in time to see Merle grabbing the man in a headlock with his handless arm, pulling back enough to reveal his neck. The man watched in shock and horror as Merle dragged the blade of his knife across his throat. Blood spilled out quickly as the life faded from the tall man's face and he fell like a rag doll to the ground.

The man drew his knife from the sheath on his belt and charged at Merle. Both men fought vigorously with one another. The man shoved his knife blade into Merle's left arm, causing Merle to drop his own knife. The man smiled thinking he had the upper hand on Merle but Merle head butted him hard, sending him stumbling back as he lost his footing and fell to the ground. Merle jumped on top of him, pinning his arms with his knees, grabbing the knife from his hand. To the man's surprise, instead of stabbing him with it, he tossed it further from them. Merle punched the man hard in the face over and over again. Finally, before the man lost consciousness, Merle grabbed him by the throat and leaned in close to his face. Through the blood and spit, the man begged Merle not to kill him.

"So you like to rape women do ya?...Did they beg you like you're beggin me right now? Beg you not to hurt them? I bet they did….and tell me…what mercy did you show them? Huh? TELL ME!" Merle yelled as he tightened his grip.

"Please…" The man managed to whisper

Merle loosened his grip to allow him to speak more clearly.

"I won't hurt 'em no more I promise….I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" The man pleaded with Merle.

"You know…people may say many things about me, how mean I am, all the bad things I've done but one thing for sure I ain't never had to do is force a woman….guess the ladies have just always loved Merle…." Merle laughed a little before he continued. "But you know what….you're right….you ain't gonna hurt no one again….cause I'm gonna squeeze every last ounce of breath out of ya!"

The man's eyes widened with fear as Merle squeezed his throat as hard as he could until he did exactly what he set out to do and the man lay there lifeless…

Merle shoved him one last time as he climbed off of him and lied down on his back on the ground. Merle took a few deep breaths trying to calm the adrenaline that seared through his body. Anger had been boiling in Merle ever since he climbed half dead off that roof in Atlanta but this was the first time he felt a sense of peace. The anger was still there from what happened to him, how he was forced to mutilate himself, not knowing where his brother was, if he was even still alive…..but things suddenly seemed much clearer to him. His own plan for revenge was finally beginning to take a clearer shape.

Merle sat up and looked over at Gwen's naked body. Still covered in dirt from the day of digging before. She lay so still Merle wondered if she was in fact dead. He crawled over to her and rested his head on her chest. Her heart was still beating. Merle looked around for her shirt but quickly realized it was now a worthless rag. Merle struggled to take off his own shirt and draped it across her. Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her back towards the truck…


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 14

Merle laid Gwen in the back of the truck. Climbing into the driver's seat, he struggled with the awkwardness of shifting gears on the truck but managed as he drove further down the dirt road. Soon they came upon an old farm house. Seeing the state that Gwen was in now he wished they had just gone a little further the night before but they were both exhausted and not thinking straight. Guilt was not an emotion Merle experienced very often.

_It ain't your fault...she should've just stayed in the truck...you can't hold her hand out here...she managed just fine before you came along anyways...she needs to remember you ain't gonna be around forever._ Merle sighed as struggled again to get the truck in park and stepped back in the back. Gwen was still out cold, Merle grabbed a baseball bat from the back of the truck.

"Stay here this time...I'll be back in a minute..." Merle knew wouldn't hear him but he spoke to her anyways. He locked her in the truck and walked up on the porch of the house.

Merle searched room by room to make sure it was clear of walkers or anyone else for that matter. The house was empty. Merle went out back to inspect the property and discovered a working generator he was able to set up and that the house was connected to well water.

"Jackpot!" Merle proclaimed and couldn't help but smile. It would be nice to feel the comforts of home that everyone takes for granted until it's gone.

Merle walked around to the front of the house and opened up the back of the truck. He entered the house walking straight into the living room and placed her on the couch. Pulling the blanket off the back of it, he gently laid it in place of his shirt. Merle struggled to put his shirt back on but he was beginning to get the hang of it one handed.

.

About a half an hour later, after Merle had moved everything of value from the truck into the house, he went back into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch next to Gwen. He didn't like the fact that she was still unconscious. He knew he couldn't reset her shoulder with just one hand and no way for resistance with her limp body. He needed her to wake up. Her left eye was swollen and it looked like there was a slight laceration just above her eye. Merle knew she would have one hell of a headache.

Gwen started to stir as she struggled to open her eyes. Her head throbbed and her whole body hurt. The pain in her shoulder was almost unbearable. She felt like she had been hit by a truck. Suddenly the memory of the two men came rushing back as Gwen began to panic. She started kicking and flailing her arms still struggling with her dislocated shoulder to move.

"Stop...STOP...IT'S ME MERLE!...YOUR SAFE...YOU'RE ALRIGHT..." Merle grabbed one of her arms in attempt to keep her from hitting him.

"What?...Where are we...the men..." Gwen couldn't help but still be scared and confused as she struggled to focus her eyes in attempt to figure out where she was.

"I took care of 'em...we're in a house...your shoulder's gonna be hurting but I'm sure so is the rest of ya." Merle patted her awkwardly on the arm. He wasn't known for have a comforting and sensitive nature.

Gwen reached for her shoulder from the pain. "You've got to fix it...I can't stand it..."

"You gotta sit up and your gonna have to help." Merle helped her as best he could to sit up and as she did she realized she was naked and instantly clutched the blanket closer to her.

"Where are my clothes?...Why did you take my clothes off?" Gwen pulled the blanket up higher towards her neck. She was embarrassed and almost angry at Merle.

Merle just stared at her in silence for a moment before he spoke. "They tore them off...I left 'em in the woods...the shirts done for and I just wanted to get you some place safe so I didn't bother to grab your pants. There probably some more clothes here anyway...Now come on...let's fix this jacked up arm of yours..."

Gwen had a look of horror on her face just thinking about what the men had done to her. She locked her knees together and covered her mouth with her hand.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Gwen mumbled underneath her hand.

Merle noticed how tense she became. "They didn't rape ya if that's what yer thinkin'..."

Gwen remained silent and just stared at Merle with tears in her eyes.

"Bend your arm, make a fist and keep it like that...I can do the rest." Merle told her as he gently pushed her arm against her body then guided it out away from her. Once he had it at a 90 degree angle outside of her body he began to push until it popped back into place. Gwen instantly felt the relief and laid back down pulling the blanket up tight against her chest.

Suddenly she jerked back up. "MERLE YOU'RE BLEEDING!" as she noticed the dampness on her wrist from the blood that had traveled the length of his arm.

Merle glanced at the stab wound on his bicep. "Didn't hit nothin' important...it'll stop bleeding eventually."

"Get me the bag with the medical supplies...we need to put some pressure on it then I'll fix you up...but can you also get me some clothes?" Gwen scooted to the edge of the couch as she waited impatiently for Merle to hand her something to wear.

Merle grabbed a shirt and shorts from her duffel bag and tossed them to her. "I'm gonna take me a hot shower! That's what I'm gonna do...ain't worried about my arm..."

"Merle...wait..." Gwen darted after him after she got dressed and started to stumble.

Merle turned back and lunged towards her to keep her from falling.

"I'm ok...I just got up too quick...my head..." She couldn't help but grab the side of her head where the man had struck her with the butt of the shotgun.

"Just lay back down...the bleeding has slowed already...soon as I'm out of the shower you can patch me right up..." Merle reassured her as Gwen nodded still holding her head as she walked back over to the couch.

.

Merle stood in the shower letting the hot water and steam surround him. He watched his feet as the combination of dirt and blood circled down the drain. Merle let the water wash over his stump. He stared at it noticing how it was finally beginning to look better and not just a bloody mess like it had been. Whatever infection initially started brewing now seemed long gone. Merle needed something to cover it once it fully healed. Maybe he could rig something in a way that he could get some use out of it again. He'd have to think on it and figure out something. He refused to have a helpless right side. Merle just closed his eyes and let the water roll down his back. He never cared much about how dirty he got but ever since the outbreak he had experienced a "new dirty" that was beyond anything anyone was used to. Merle stepping out of the shower and tried his best tied off the wound on his arm with a small towel using his nub and his teeth. It wasn't a very good job but it would at least get him downstairs until Gwen could fix it up proper.

.

Gwen had fallen asleep while waiting for Merle to return from his shower. The smell of fresh soap woke her as she opened her eyes to Merle standing over her.

"Come on girl...let's patch up ole Merle!" He said with a smile.

Gwen got up and walked into the kitchen to wash all the dirt off her hands. On her way back she grabbed the backpack with the medical supplies. She sat next to Merle on the couch and stitched up his arm and wrapped it.

"Your wrist is looking so much better..." Gwen remarked. "I don't think it looks infected which is pretty amazing considering how dirty we've managed to get the last few days."

Merle started to get off the couch when she grabbed his arm and led him back down. Merle looked at her as she just stared at him.

"What now?" Merle asked. Her silence was beginning to make him uncomfortable.

"Tell me exactly what happened..." Gwen waited patiently for Merle to answer.

"Ain't nothin' to tell...told you...you ain't hurt!..." Merle looked at the bruising of her face. "Well...not like that I mean..." Merle glanced down her body.

"I still want to hear it...every detail Merle...and I mean it...every detail..."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead, AMC or anyone/anything else. This is purely for entertainment purposes and is fiction created by me. No copyright infringement intended on anything associated with this account. This story does not reflect the actual series and doesn't claim to be anything but me having a bit of extra time on my hands getting the mental dialogue from my make believe stories in my head on paper (or computer that is). Any and all original characters created by me are not and do not resemble any known person(s). If you have any concerns or questions about what I've written please contact me and I will be happy to discuss anything. **

**Please Review!**

Chapter 15

Gwen slowly walked up the stairs, taking in everything Merle had told her and Merle did as she asked and didn't spare one gruesome detail from everything he saw and did. Gwen knew she was safe with Merle now, at least for the time being but she suddenly couldn't help but feel completely hopeless.

The water felt like a shock against her body and she couldn't help but jump. It seemed like forever since she had taken a shower or really even had the opportunity to get clean. Now she felt like no matter how long she stayed in that shower she would never feel clean again.

.

Merle spent the next hour securing the doors and moving furniture to block the downstairs windows. They weren't all blocked and he'd work on something more permanent the next day but since it was getting dark, it would be good at least for the night. Merle had been so focused on securing the house he hadn't noticed Gwen hadn't come back from the shower. He headed upstairs and could still hear the water running. He walked into the bathroom and yanked back the shower curtain. There sat Gwen, with her knees bent to her chest, her arms folded and her head resting against her arms. She was shivering from the cold water.

"What are you tryin' to do? Catch pnemonia? Get outta there." Merle fussed at her as he turned the water off. He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a towel. Merle stood next to the tub holding out the towel with his hand and waited.

Gwen looked up at him and crossed her arms tight across her chest.

"Ain't no sence in being bashful now...I've seen you as naked a the day you were born...now get up and stop feelin' sorry for yourself..." Merle barked at her.

Hesitantly Gwen stood up and wrapped the towel around her. Merle helped her step out of the tub as she continued to shiver.

"Come on...we'll get ya tucked in real good...you'll sleep in a real bed tonight and you'll feel as good as new in the mornin'" Merle led her by the arm towards one of the bedrooms.

Gwen walked into the bedroom. It was simply decorated, the furniture was darkly stained and the room had dresser on the wall at the foot of the bed and a nightstand with a lamp next to it. There were wall sconces just above the bed post on either side with a wide wooden shelf in between. Although it was plain it still seemed cozy to her although she suspected almost anything would at this point. She was glad to be sleeping in a bed again instead of the hard floor of the truck wrapped in her sleeping bag. She opened one of the drawers and pulled out a sleeveless cotton nightgown. It still had that freshly washed smell. She dropped her towel as she pulled the nightgown over her head. It was soft and comfortable against her skin.

"You alright in here?" Merle started to head out of the room.

Gwen turned to look at him as she picked the towel off the floor and hung it against the bedpost.

"It's fine..." She said as she tucked her damp hair behind her ear. The bruising was worse around her eye making it difficult for her to open.

"Well...I'll just be across the hall..." Merle started to step out when Gwen stopped him.

"Merle wait...I don't want to be alone." Gwen looked down at her feet almost as if ashamed to have admitted it.

Merle stared at her not sure of what to do. He was already out of his comfort zone trying to make her feel better. "I ain't cuddlin' with ya if that's what you're wantin'"

Gwen giggled a little to herself at the thought of Merle cuddling with anyone, but then shook her head no.

Merle walked over to the opposite side of the bed and undid his pants, dropping them to the floor. In his t-shirt and boxers he climbed into the bed and looked at her as if to say "whatcha waitin' for?" as he laid on his back.

Gwen turned off the light and climbed into bed next to him. It felt weird sharing a bed with Merle but at the same time she was still to shaken from the days events to be alone. She laid on her side facing him and pulled the covers up tight trying to stop from shivering.

After his eyes adjusted to the dark he glanced over at Gwen and noticed her staring at him. Merle turned his attention back up to the ceiling.

"Don't be going soft on me Gwenny...part of why I've stuck around this long with ya is cause I like your attitude...you ain't whiney like some girls...tougher than most." Merle fidgeted slightly as his arm began to ache.

"Merle...I don't know how to thank you...for all you did...if you hadn't found me in time..." Gwen's voice started to crack, she didn't want to even say it.

Merle turned onto his left side, propping up on his elbow and supporting his head. Instinctively he reached towards her with his right arm but stopping after looking at his wrist. There was no hand to touch her with. Merle took a deep breath as he dropped his arm back down to his side.

"You knock that mess off...what's done is done...it's sink or swim in this world darlin' so you can't let somethin' like this break you...I mean look at me...look what I done gone and did to myself..." Merle held his right arm up towards her shaking his nub at her. "You do what it takes to survive...at whatever the cost..."

Merle turned back over on his back this time with his right arm above his head and his left arm resting across his chest. "There ain't no more order in this world...survival of the fittest...eye for and eye type shit now...you take care of you and your own...simple as that..."

"Is that your plan?..." Gwen asked still staring at him intensely.

Merle turned his head back towards her. "Plan for what?"

"Is that your plan? To get even with those that cuffed you on that roof top? Eye for an eye or should I say hand for a hand in your case? You gonna cut off the hand of the man that cuffed you up there in the first place?"

Merle just smiled slyly at her. "Quit your jabberin' and go to sleep..."

Merle turned his face back towards the ceiling and closed his eyes. He couldn't help but smile to himself knowing full well that was exactly what he intended to do whenever he came across Rick Grimes again along with that lazy, stupid fuck that dropped the key...T-Dog...he'd have something special planned for him too...


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The next few days were long and full of hard work for Merle and Gwen. They hit the surrounding houses for supplies and food. The truck had made a few trips back and forth before it completely ran out of gas. Merle and Gwen left it abandoned on the side of the road. Gwen had successfully ripped down multiple boards off of one the barns they came across. Merle helped as best he could but still struggled with just one hand. He had mastered dressing himself as well as doing little things but big projects were still a struggle for him. Most of the time, he gave Gwen instructions on how to board up the windows. He'd easily get frustrated with her but Gwen just ignored it, she knew it was more out of his own frustration to have to watch her do it than do it himself. Gwen and Merle secured both the front and the back doors with planks that could be easily slide out for access to get out but once inside made both impenetrable. Gwen stood back from the door and admired her own handy work.

"It's like we have our own little fortress here…." Gwen joked.

Merle grunted at her and headed back towards the kitchen.

"Merle?…Somethin' wrong?" Gwen followed after him.

"God damn girl….you been up my ass for days….can't I just have a moment of peace away from ya?" Merle kicked one of the bottom cabinet doors.

"What's your problem Merle?" Gwen stood in the middle of the kitchen just looking confused. Merle turned around and charged to her, slightly startling her. He roughly grabbed her by the arm.

"I said leave me be!" Merle shoved her to the side as he stomped off and up the stairs.

Suddenly a wave of sadness washed over Gwen as she stood silently in the kitchen. She could hear Merle slamming things around upstairs. He could be such an asshole but ever since they arrived at the house, they had gotten along well that Gwen had forgotten what a jerk he could sometimes be.

.

Merle started shoving clothes into his backpack until he got too frustrated with himself to continue and threw the bag in the floor. He laid back on the bed, folding his arms behind his head and just stared at the ceiling. All he felt like doing at that moment was punching the wall.

_Damn girl…..ain't no "we" here….ain't playin' house. She's done making me soft…ain't got no time for that neither…..I done made this house safe for her…she got plenty of food for at least a little while. She managed just fine before…..she'll manage just fine now…._

Merle could smell dinner cooking in the kitchen. After lying in bed and calming down for about a half an hour, he crept quietly back down the stairs and into the living room. He gathered up all the weapons and began dividing them between the two of them.

Gwen walked in carrying two bowls of stew and watched as Merle inventoried the weapons. It wasn't a ton, they found a couple of hand guns along with what she already had and Merle seemed to favor the revolver most. There were a variety of sizes of knives, a hatchet, an axe and of course the baseball bat they already had. There was a fair amount of ammunition but some of it was for caliber guns they didn't even have.

"Here you go Merle..." Gwen sat the bowl on the floor next to him. Merle looked up at her and grunted. Gwen started to sit in the living room with him but with his coldness towards her decided against it. She headed back to the kitchen and sat at the table. She didn't feel much like eating at that point but forced herself to anyways. She rested her hand against her head with her elbow propped up on the table and picked at her food with the spoon in the other.

Gwen and Merle didn't speak the rest of the night. Merle seemed to be doing everything to avoid talking to her and she didn't want to push it with him either. They both went to sleep in their separate rooms without bothering to say goodnight to each other like they had every other night they were there. Gwen couldn't help but toss and turn with a sense of dread all night long. She didn't sleep a wink.

.

The next morning, Merle got up early and finished packing a few clothes into the backpack. Quietly he crept downstairs, hoping not to wake up Gwen. Starting in the kitchen he shoved some cans with pull top tabs and other food supplies along with a few bottles of water in the backpack. He went into her bag with the medical supplies and picked out some things he thought he would need along with extra bandages although he wasn't quite sure how he was going to rewrap anything on his own. He had left out the weapons he was taking and he holstered the revolver on his left hip while he divided what he was taking between the front pouch and the main part of the backpack with his clothes. It was all a tight fit but he didn't want to chance not being able to manuever well one handed being weighed down by too many bags. Merle was about to stand and throw on the backpack when he heard Gwen's voice.

"Why don't I rewrap that wrist and arm of yours before you go?" She reached into the bag with the medical supplies and pulled out a roll of gauze and tape.

"I already took some..." Merle stated.

"I know...it's fine...but it'll be good for you to start fresh this morning, don't you think?" She stepped closer towards him but he still had yet to look at her. He sat on the couch and sighed deeply.

Neither said a word as Gwen gently rewrapped his wrist and the wound on his arm. Merle noticed her hand still gently gripping his bicep after she was done.

"So...you just gonna leave without sayin' goodbye?" Gwen stared up at him with tears in her eyes. Merle just jerked his arm away and stood back up. He struggled as he secured the backpack on his back and Gwen just stood in silence and watched as headed towards the door. She followed quickly behind him as he headed out onto the porch.

"Merle!" Gwen stated angrily as he started to leave.

"God dammit! Bitch this is exactly what I'm tryin' to avoid...I don't need you gettin' all sobby on me...I got things I gotta do..." Merle stomped his feet as he spun back around to face her. He avoided eye contact with her and seemed to look everywhere but directly at her.

"There's no tellin' where they are now...they could be long gone...you don't..." Merle cut her off, marching right up to her and grabbing her chin with his hand. He pulled his face in close to her and stared into her eyes.

"Don't you dare even say it...vengeance ain't gonna do all by itself..." Merle gave her a gentle shove as he glared at her and turned back around and started to walk off.

"You're always welcome back Merle...even if you won't say a proper goodbye..." Gwen didn't bother to go after him. She knew his mind was made up.

Merle just kept walking towards the road mumbling to himself the whole way. Just when he knew the house would almost be out of sight, he couldn't help but stop and turn around to look back. He could see Gwen still standing on the porch watching him leave. "Stupid girl...only gonna say goodbye to people I care about...damn dirt in my eye..." Merle wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat. He turned back to head down the road.

He had walked for about half the day when he finally saw a green sign that read "**Woodbury...10 miles...**"

**So here we come to end of another one of my stories. Thanks for sticking with me! I can't tell you how hard it was to have so little Daryl! I'll have to make up for it in my next story. I really think Merle is a grossly misunderstood person much like Daryl. We've all seen Daryl transform and become the complex person he is. I think Merle is capable of the same but without someone there to nuture the good in him, who knows if and when it will see the light of day. I do think he has a deep love and devotion to his brother although imperfect as it is and I can't wait to see their reunion on the show and what the dynamic will be. Since there are so few Merle stories out there that's why I wrote this one to share some love with Merle. After the new season begins I may write a sequel to this story but we will see...only time will tell...Please check out my other stories and I'm sure I will be posting a new one soon too. Don't forget to add me to your fav authors list so you can get alerts to when I post something new and please...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm so glad you are back and continuing to read this story! I really hope for some more reviews from people- I'd love to hear what you think. There aren't many fanfics about Merle and I'm curious to everyone's perception of him so please please please leave your comments at the end of the chapters. I initially thought I would write a sequel but since this was a fairly short story I decided just to add on to the original instead of doing a complete sequel. Again I do not own the rights to The Walking Dead or any of it's characters and/or story plots...and don't forget...PLEASE REVIEW! **

Chapter 17

It had been a few months since Merle had left. The chill in the air during the recent days confirmed that winter was steadily approaching. Gwen had found a hooded winter coat, along with some sweaters and flannel lined pants in the house to help keep her warm. In the past few days, she noticed whenever she built a fire in the fireplace that more walkers seemed to be making their way out of the woods and towards the house. She could only guess it was the smell of a fresh fire that attracted them towards her. Gwen couldn't risk drawing the attention of more walkers towards her home so she quit building them and layered up as much as possible. If she was this cold at just the beginning of winter, she couldn't see how in the world she would survive through the rest of it. She couldn't risk shooting them and having the noise attract more either. All she could do was hope and pray that they would quickly give up their search for food and venture off somewhere else.

Gwen couldn't help but wonder about Merle. The more time that passed, the more she wished she had tried harder to convince him to stay. They could've searched daily from the house for his brother and former group members. Why he had been insistent on leaving was never clear. With the walkers keeping her locked up in the house most days for safety all she had time to do was think these days. All the thinking was starting to eat away at her.

Gwen quietly crept downstairs to the kitchen. She entered the pantry and was exasperated while she stared at the empty shelves. There were only a few cans of food left. She had done her best to ration what food she had when Merle left but again the increased walker activity had made her a prisoner there and she had been unable to easily go out in search for food. Her stomach growled just thinking about food. She had already skipped eating the last two days and was beginning to feel light headed. She knew she had to eat something to keep her strength up. She grabbed the last can of baked beans from the cabinet, grabbed the can opener from the drawer by the sink and cracked open the can. She sat a on the floor with her back against the cabinet and began to eat. She couldn't keep living like this. If something didn't give she wouldn't be living at all much longer.

After she ate, she crept over to the living room and peered through one of the boards on the front windows. One….two….three….four….five….six….seven….eight…walkers just lurking around the bottom of the steps of the front porch. They moved noticeably slower in the cold which was the only advantage Gwen could see. If anything, she knew the cold would make her want to run faster.

_Make a run for it….there has to be a safer place than this….if they never leave….or more keep coming you'll be trapped in here forever and starve to death. You can freeze to death out there or in here but at least out there you might have a fighting chance._ Gwen debated back in forth in her mind. Was it really time to try to go or should she continue to wait it out and hope for the best. The more she thought about it, the more she thought she should come up with a plan to try and leave. There were enough walkers to make her uncomfortable and she knew there were even more on the west side of the house. Maybe fifteen walkers in all on the property. Gwen backed away from the window as she started to head back towards the stairs to look out the upstairs windows. She bumped into an end table and immediately a surge of fear ran through her body as she reached for the glass lamp that seemed to fall in slow motion to the floor and shatter.

"Fuck!" Gwen couldn't help but curse out loud. The breaking glass seemed to echo loudly throughout the house.

She heard the walkers begin to stir outside.

_Please don't let them have heard it….please….no….no…_

Gwen looked back through the space between the boards and saw the walkers divert their attention towards the front of the house….one by one… they started to come onto the porch. Eager to get inside the house.

"You're an idiot!" Gwen scolded herself as she ran upstairs. She looked out the front windows and noticed that the walkers on the porch had gotten the attention of the others on the side of the house as they all began to migrate over.

"You've got to be kidding me…." Frustrated, Gwen ran into the bedroom she had been sleeping in, where she moved all her supplies and grabbed her backpack off the floor. Quickly she began packing any necessary clothes. She grabbed the medical supplies from the duffle bag and crammed as many in as she could. She could hear the walkers growing more agitated on the porch as she heard them begin to pound on the door and windows. She knew the boards on the inside would hold for a good while so she kept reminding herself this was no time to panic.

She grabbed her thigh holster and strapped it to her right thigh. Frantically she looked for the other until she finally remembered she had given it to Merle. She grabbed all the extra loaded magazines she had for the gun and shoved them in all her pockets along with any extra ammo. She debating with grabbing the baseball bat but she was afraid it might slow her down. She had to stay light in order to run as fast as she could and she had a feeling she was about to do some serious running. As much as being loaded down with weapons may have made her feel more secure she knew she wouldn't be able to kill them all by herself. She just needed to be armed enough to keep them away at a safe distance if there was such a thing. The one gun would have to do. She couldn't risk having to carry too much. She grabbed a couple of knives and shoved them in her pocket but she hoped not to get that up close and personal with any walker.

The shattering of glass downstairs made her jump. They had broken through the windows, now it was only a matter of time before the were able to get through the boards. She grabbed her backpack and flung it onto one shoulder as she ran back to look out one of the front windows. She didn't see any walkers in the yard…they must've all made it up on the porch and clearly the thought of feasting was driving them all. Gwen started to turn away when something in the distance caught her attention. Her mouth dropped open as she pressed close against the glass…..across the field near the wood line she could see it….it was a large herd.

"Shit!..." The time was now….there had to be at least fifty walkers in the herd….maybe more but she wasn't sticking around to count. Her heart began to race as she grabbed her gun, dropped out the magazine to make sure it was fully loaded, shoved it back in, then racked a round into the chamber. She shoved it into her holster and slipped her other arm through her backpack strap. She quickly ran through the upstairs bedrooms making sure she wasn't leaving anything behind that she absolutely needed. She headed to the back of the house and climbed onto the roof through one of the windows.

The cold wind felt like it cut into her face. She carefully walked to the edge of the roof and looked around on the ground below her. She didn't see any walkers on the backside of the house but she could hear the ones at the front becoming angrier and angrier as they tried to break into the front of the house. She jumped off the roof, falling forward once she hit the ground. She quickly picked herself back up but didn't bother brushing off the dirt from her pants. She started to run towards the woods.

Once she had put a fair amount of distance between herself and the house she turned back and looked. She hated leaving…..she and Merle had done so much to try and secure that house and now she felt like it was all for nothing. All she could do was hope that Merle was having better luck than she was. Gwen noticed a lone walker stumbling along the left side of the house, coming around towards the back of the property. It noticed her and paused in its tracks for a moment. Suddenly it picked up its pace and headed towards her.

"Shit…." Gwen turned and sprinted towards the woods. She ran as fast as she could for as long as she could and refused to look back again.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Gwen's run eventually led to a slow walk. She was exhausted but felt if any walkers had followed after her, she was able to give them the slip. She continued through the woods, trying her best to make her way towards the road. Finally she could see the break in the trees off to her left but instead of heading towards it she just continued to walk parallel to it. She didn't want to risk being out in the open. With no one around to help her, she didn't want to risk running in to anymore men the likes of the ones Merle saved her from.

Nightfall approached and Gwen knew she needed to find a place to rest. The temperature dropped dramatically but even with the winter coat and all the layers of clothing she already had on, she could help but shiver. She was too afraid to risk a fire. She had no camping gear, no blanket and there was no shelter in sight. Sleep wouldn't be on her agenda for the night. She couldn't risk falling asleep and having a walker sneak up on her but she had to stop and rest….at least for a little while. She leaned against a tree and tried to shield herself from the wind. She rested her backpack against her chest in a fruitless attempt for warmth. _At what point will a person freeze to death?_ Gwen couldn't help but wonder how long she could possibly survive. She had no food and no shelter. She pulled the hood of the jacket up tighter around her face as best she could. Her eyes became heavy as she struggled to stay awake. _You can't fall asleep….you're as good as dead…_Gwen kept reminding herself over and over but soon the exhaustion got the better of her.

Gwen woke up to the sound of sleet falling against her jacket. The sun was just beginning to rise. There was already a dusting of snow and sleet on the ground. Every ounce of her body hurt from the cold as she struggled to get up. She hated that she fell asleep but at the same time she was relieved she made it through the night unharmed. She slipped her backpack over her shoulders and began to walk. She needed to move to try to get her body temperature back up as she continue to shiver as she made her way through the woods. She knew she couldn't spend another night in the elements. She had to keep moving until she found shelter. There would be no stopping to rest this time until she did.

Her line of vision grew shallow from the increase of sleet and snow. The bitter wind burned against her cheeks as she did her best to keep her hood up and her head down as she walked. She was so cold and hungry she wanted to cry. _Dammit Merle….if only you had stayed….things wouldn't have to be this hard…you could've helped me with a plan or something…_. Gwen knew it was ridiculous blaming Merle. He didn't owe her anything nor did she him. She had survived by herself before without any trouble or help from anyone else. She could do it again only this time the physical toll was starting to get the better of her. She just wanted to blame someone. _If you're looking for someone to blame…you should just blame yourself…you should've come up with a plan on your own long ago…you took things for granted that you were safe…if anyone is stupid and to blame it's you…._ Gwen was quickly becoming her own worst enemy. Her own mind caused such a distraction that she didn't see the walker approaching on her right until it was almost on top of her.

Gwen jerked out of the way as the walker hissed and lunged at her. Gwen stumble to the ground, the look of shock written all over her face.

"GET UP!" She yelled at herself as she scrambled to her feet. She reached for the gun on her thigh and pulled it from the holster.

Pointing it at the walker she continued to take steps back as it lunged at her again. Gwen's eyes quickly scanned the area around her to look for other walkers. She pulled the trigger and the bang from the gun echoed all around her as the walker dropped face first onto the snow covered ground.

Gwen struggled to catch her breath as the cold air constricted her lungs making it more difficult. Then she heard another walker groan as she saw it approaching a few trees back from the direction the other had come from. She pointed her gun at the other one but just as she was about to pull the trigger, movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. There was another approaching….and another….and another…. She hesitated for a moment, scanning the area again and noticed even more walkers approaching. Instead of trying to shoot them all, she took off running in the opposite direction.

Tightly gripping her gun, Gwen ran as fast as she could. Her hood flew back and the cold wind made her head hurt but she did her best to ignore it as she continued to run. Her legs felt heavy and her feet were beginning to go numb. The coldness of the gun caused her hand to ache and she balled up the fist of her other hand in attempt to keep it warm. She ran until her legs couldn't run any longer. She glanced over her shoulder but didn't see anything. She turned around and walked backwards for a moment to get a better look…..she couldn't see any walkers for the time being. Just as Gwen turned back towards the direction she was walking in, she felt herself step on something strange. Her foot slightly gave and she looked down just at the right moment to watch the jaws of a steel trap clamp on to her shin. Instantly Gwen's other leg buckled and she crashed hard on the ground. Pain radiated through her entire leg as she bit down on her coat sleeve to muffle the scream that rose from her throat. She lay as still as she could for a moment as she closed her eyes tightly and fought back tears. She tried her best to take a deep breath and rolled over to her back. Her movement caused another wave of pain radiate throughout her body as she began to feel nauseous. Gwen attempted to sit up and reach for her ankle but quickly the small flashes of light before her eyes turned completely black…

.

"God Dammit Lincoln….can you be any fuckin' louder trompin' through these damn woods? Hell…without those traps you'd be scarin' all the meals away…" Merle grumbled as the stocky man trailed a short distance behind him carrying a rifle.

"I don't see why we couldn't wait until it stopped snowing…it's fuckin' freezin' out here Merle! How the hell does the cold not bother you?" Lincoln asked.

Merle stopped and turned to glare at the man. He was taller than Merle and built like a tank. Most would've been intimidated by him but not Merle….he wasn't intimidated by anyone….well almost anyone.

"Because…there are other things out here botherin' me more at the moment…now quiet the fuck down…" Merle barked.

Merle came across four of their traps….none of which had been triggered.

"God Dammit! Still nothin'…foods gettin' scarce….keep an eye out for squirrels though I figure we won't be seein' much of 'em neither." Merle remarked.

"Want to check the bear traps and see if there are any walkers caught up in 'em?" Lincoln asked.

"Might as well….." Merle replied as both men headed further into the woods.

.

Gwen opened her eyes as she lay uncomfortably against her back pack. She looked down at her ankle. Her right leg throbbed with the steel trap clamped around it. She moved more slowly this time hoping it would prevent herself from passing out again. She didn't have time for this. What if the walkers had followed her? _Walkers…my gun?...fuck…where's my gun?_ Gwen frantically looked around for the gun and but couldn't see where she dropped it in the snow. She felt the area around her in reach but couldn't find it. She had to get out of that trap, find her gun and get out of there. If walkers caught a whiff of her bleeding leg, they'd rip her to shreds with no chance of escape. Gwen leaned forward, biting her bottom lip doing her best to remain quiet from the pain. She shrugged off her back pack so she could move more freely. Grabbing both sides of the jaws she started to pry the jaws apart but one hand slipped and the jaws slammed shut again against her shin. Gwen cried out in pain as she fell back onto her back. Her whole backside was cold and wet from lying on the ground. She covered her face with her hands and began to weep. The pain was almost unbearable. She did her best to calm herself down and catch her breath. Her head began to throb along with her already throbbing leg.

"Quit being such a crybaby….ain't nobody going to get you out of this but you. You've got to try harder….you're running out of time." Giving herself her own pep talk was all she could think of to do. She sat back up but this time bent her leg closer towards her body so she wouldn't be reaching so far. She did her best to ignore the pain but the tears continued to stream down her face. She gripped both sides of the jaws again as tight as she could and pried them apart pulling her leg free and pushing the trap away from her body. She released the trap with both hands simultaneously and watched it snap back shut…..she was finally free but bleeding profusely now from its release. She grabbed the back pack and pulled a flannel shirt from inside and began to rip it into strips. She tied the strips around her leg as tightly as she could and dug around in the pack for a syringe and a vial of antibiotic, she couldn't risk an infection. She considered taking a pain killer as well but decided against it in fear it would make her too sleepy and as much agony as she was in, she didn't have time to rest. She had already lost time having to deal with the trap in the first place and she needed to find shelter before nightfall.

Gwen crawled around the area where she fell searching for her gun. The snow was bitterly cold against her hands but she was finally able to find it. The only good thing was, it had finally stopped snowing and sleeting on her but the coldness of the air hinted for more to come. She slipped her arms back through the straps of her back pack and managed to push herself back onto her feet. She took a deep breath as she took her first step, putting weight on her injured leg. With a heavy limp, she began to make her way through the woods again.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Damn….how the fuck did it free itself?" Lincoln asked as he and Merle stood over the closed trap next to a scarlet patch of snow.

"It didn't" Merle remarked.

"Well it had to of…..you don't see it around here do ya?" Lincoln remarked.

Merle smacked the backside of Lincoln's head. "It ain't no walker dumb ass….walkers ain't smart enough to free themselves without leaving their whole damn ankle behind….this here was a person."

"Fuck….that had to hurt like a bitch…." Lincoln looked around trying to figure out the direction the person fled in. "Which way do ya think they went?"

"I don't know genius….maybe if we follow the fuckin' blood trail and the drag marks in the snow, we'll find 'em." Merle smacked his stump against the man's chest and started to follow the trail. Merle's wrist was covered with a leather and metal contraption he created to get use out of his right arm again. In fact he was quite proud of it and secured a bayonet on the end. There were a few other weapons of choice he was looking at to add as attachments but for now the bayonet worked the best. The Governor had been quite impressed with Merle's creation. In fact he had been quite impressed with Merle all together. So had all the other men as well as they all feared him…all of them except The Governor but Merle didn't take that personally. He didn't think The Governor feared anyone.

Merle pulled the revolver from the holster on his hip as they walked further into the woods. Lincoln and Merle spotted the individual about 100 feet ahead of them. Merle held up his stump and both men halted. Lincoln took aim at the subject.

"Wait…." Merle whispered wanting to see exactly who they were dealing with.

"Ain't we gonna kill 'em?" Lincoln whispered back.

Merle turned to face Lincoln. "Are you really this stupid? We need to find out where they're from…maybe they have others or supplies we can get….you kill 'em now we won't know nothin'." Merle said softly so as not to alert the person they were tracking.

Merle looked back at the subject as they paused in their step. He watched as the person leaned against a tree for a moment. A gust of wind hit all of them and blew the hood back from the person's head. Merle's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he noticed the woman's brown hair with light pink ends.

_Gwennie..._Merle thought to himself as he began to walk towards her. _It can't be….she's safe back at the house…..why would she be this close to Woodbury? It can't be her…._ But the closer he and Lincoln got the clearer it became. He recognized her backpack. She had yet to notice them and tried to start walking but with her first step, she dropped to her knees. Merle's eyes were glued to her as she struggled in attempt to stand back up but ended up face planting in the snow. Merle's steady walk quickly turned into a full sprint as he ran towards her. Her body lay there lifeless as Merle approached her, dropping to his knees. He rolled her onto her back and began to brush the snow from her face. Merle's heart raced and he was out of breath as he looked for some sign of life from her.

"Merle….what the hell?...She dead?" Lincoln asked.

Merle ignored him as he pressed his ear against her chest but couldn't hear anything through her coat. He leaned in close against her face and felt her breath on his cheek.

"Come on baby….open your eyes…." Merle struggled to pull her up to sitting. Her body limply leaned against him. "Come on now….ole Merle's got ya….you gotta open your eyes for me."

Gwen's lips were turning blue and her eyes had dark circles around them. Merle noticed how much thinner her face looked and wondered how long she had been outside. He again questioned why she'd leave the safety of the house. _Stupid girl…. _He thought to himself.

Lincoln just stared strangely at Merle, wondering what this sudden sympathetic side was. "Merle what are ya doin'?"

Merle looked up at Lincoln and could see the confusion on his face. Merle couldn't help but get angry. "Help me get her up you dumb fuck."

"What are we gonna do with her?" Lincoln asked.

"We got to get her back to town….." Merle stood up, dragging Gwen to her feet.

"Why ain't we just waitin' for her to wake up and question her here….Governor ain't gonna like you bringin' her back…." Lincoln remarked.

"Hold her steady…." Merle held onto her until Lincoln grabbed hold and once he did, he bent forward against her and lifted her up over his shoulder. Red faced, Merle stood upright, gripping her tightly with his good arm and started to head back towards town.

"Merle?...Merle? We can't bring her back…." Lincoln barked.

Merle continued walking until her heard the clicking of the rifle, racking a cartridge into the chamber. Merle stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. Lincoln couldn't help but shake a little from the glare from Merle's eyes.

"Come on Merle…you know it's against the rules….ain't nobody allowed to bring injured strangers to town…..ain't nobody, unless the Governor ok's it." Lincoln kept his rifle aimed at Merle with a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Don't point that damn thing at me unless you intend on pullin' the trigger….." Merle remarked.

"You know I don't want to do that….now put her down….if The Governor says it's ok then we'll come back and get 'er." Lincoln pleaded with Merle.

"Then I guess you better be prepared to shoot me in the back." Merle barked and he turned around and began walking back to town.

Quickly thereafter he heard Lincoln running behind him to catch up. "I'm sorry Merle…but those are the rules….I'm tellin' Governor I tried to stop ya…..I ain't takin' the blame for this…."

"Ain't nobody asked you to….." Merle remarked without looking at him.

"God damn Merle….you gonna piss him off…..I ain't walkin' in with ya and takin' the blame….I'm sorry Merle but I ain't."

Merle didn't say another word as he watched as Lincoln ran ahead of him towards the town. He knew Lincoln was right….the Governor would be pissed but that was just the chance he was willing to take.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm so glad to hear that everyone is happy to see I've picked this story back up. I can't wait for you all to read the chapters I've already written. I've just got to make some adjustments to some but plan on posting close to daily. Don't forget to review at the end of the chapter and thanks to all you faithful readers! I really appreciate it!**

**C**hapter 20

Merle walked through town towards the clinic. He felt all eyes were on him as he carried Gwen, still unconscious, over his shoulder. He was getting tired and could feel the strain of carrying her so far in his whole body. He saw The Governor step out of one of the main buildings on the street out of the corner of his eye. Lincoln must've quickly found him and told him everything. Merle had to make it to the clinic. It was the only way he could have some leverage before the Governor reached him. Merle picked up his steady pace and could see the clinic doors in sight. His back was beginning to ache. He heard the Governor call out to him but ignored him, pretending he didn't hear. Merle saw the clinic door open, with Beatrice, an elderly woman in town, looked confused at him, standing in the doorway.

"Merle?...Who've you got there?" She asked.

"Close the door Beatrice….he's not going in…." The Governor ordered from behind Merle.

Obediently, Beatrice closed the door behind her and blocked Merle's entrance. Merle struggled to keep a good grip on Gwen.

_God dammit….I'm so fuckin' close….._Merle thought to himself.

The Governor passed by Merle and stopped between him and Beatrice at the clinic doors.

"Let me pass Governor…..she needs help and I intend to help her…." Merle remarked without making eye contact with him. Not because he was afraid but because he was focusing all his concentration on not dropping Gwen. As light as she was, it was a long distance to carry her and he was quickly running out of steam. The Governor could see the sweat forming on his forehead and his arms begin to shake from the strain.

"You know the rules Merle….this is not acceptable…." The Governor spoke. He could see the strain in Merle's face.

"Sometimes rules need to be broken Gov…." Merle remarked as he shifted Gwen's weight on his shoulder still gripping her tightly.

Merle could hear the small crowd forming behind him and all the whispers begin.

The Governor stood in silence for a moment just staring at Merle. Merle was bull headed and he knew it but he had never seen Merle stick his neck on the line for someone like this. Merle had mentioned a brother before and The Governor could see him doing something like this for him but not a strange woman found in the woods. The Governor knew this had to be more complicated than Lincoln had presented to him and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Lincoln….Andrew…..get the girl…." The Governor ordered.

"NO!" Merle stepped away from both men almost causing himself to lose his balance as he struggled to regain control as he grunted. He knew if he released her to them now, he'd never see her again and he wasn't about to let that happen.

The Governor held up his hand for the two men to stop. Merle's disobedience intrigued him. As independent and strong as Merle was, he had never been downright defiant and The Governor wanted to know why now. He looked back at Merle but this time Merle managed to stare him in the eyes. Both Merle and the Governor stared at one another in silence until The Governor broke free of the glare and looked at the crowd forming outside, still whispering and in awe of Merle's disobedience.

"Don't you all have something to do? This is no time for gossip….get back to work…NOW!" The Governor ordered and everyone quickly scattered. He looked back at Merle and then turned to Beatrice. "Take them both inside….let's see who this woman really is…."

Merle couldn't help but sigh in relief as he entered the clinic and followed Beatrice to one of the rooms. Once inside, Merle lowered her to the bed. Beatrice helped catch the back of her and removed the back pack.

"There's probably some drugs in there….painkillers and stuff….maybe a weapon or two." Merle remarked as he started to remove her wet coat. "Probably some in her coat pockets too."

The Governor watched Merle closely as Merle gently helped Beatrice remove the wet clothes from the woman. He had never seen Merle behave this way with anyone. If he didn't know Merle like he did, he'd swear Merle cared for her but the only person he ever gave any impression of caring remotely about was his lost brother and even then, those moments were few and far between.

Merle cupped Gwen's face in his hand and gently shook her. "Come on Gwen….you need to wake up…"

"Merle…..I think that's enough, you and I need to speak privately." The Governor ordered.

Merle helped guide Gwen onto her back on the bed and heard Beatrice gasp as she started to unwrap Gwen's bandage on her leg.

"Oh my God….she's been bit." Beatrice remarked as she stepped back.

The Governor stepped forward to look as Merle shot Beatrice a dirty look.

"She ain't been bit you dumb bitch….she got caught in one of our bear traps….she ain't bit!" Merle barked.

"But if a walker had stepped in it first, couldn't she be infected?" The woman asked.

"It was a new trap….I just laid it out yesterday….shut your trap about her bein' bit….it ain't a bite." Merle said angrily.

"Don't worry Beatrice….I think Merle is right….it doesn't look like a bite….you'll be fine…I can send one of the other men in here with you if it will make you feel better." The Governor stated.

"I should be fine….as long as you think so…." Beatrice remarked to the Governor as she forced a smile.

"Well then it's settled….Merle….no more stalling….outside now!" The Governor turned and left the room.

Merle looked up at Beatrice but she didn't make eye contact with him. Merle looked back one last time at Gwen as he exited the room after the Governor.

.

"Merle….let me be clear….Don't speak….I'm going to ask you some questions and you are going to give me the answers, nothing more, nothing less are we understood?" The Governor asked as they stood outside the clinic doors.

Merle could see Lincoln and another one of the Governor's henchmen, Andrew standing nearby as if they were waiting for orders.

"Yeah I understand…." Merle replied.

"What's the rule of bringing the injured back to town?" The Governor asked.

Merle sighed in frustration….he knew the rule….he just didn't choose to obey it. "Governor I know but…"

"I SAID NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS….WHAT IS THE RULE?" The Governor yelled.

Merle shot the Governor a look but The Governor's face was expressionless. "Ain't nobody to bring back injured unless it's one of our own from the town…unless you say to."

"And is the woman you brought back a member of this town?" The Governor asked.

"No….."

"So you are admitting that you deliberately disobeyed one of the primary rules used to keep this town safe." The Governor stated. He waited for a reply from Merle but Merle remained silent. Merle's eyes stayed on the two henchmen waiting off to the side. Merle knew what was about to come next from them.

"Answer me Merle…." The Governor ordered.

"It ain't sound like you was asking a question." Merle remarked.

The Governor laughed to himself a little. He had to hand it to Merle. Merle had the biggest set of balls of anyone in the whole town. A part of the Governor was relieved that Merle wasn't much of a leader and ended up pissing people off most of the time. If he had been well liked, he'd be considered a worthy opponent.

"Well then Merle….I'm asking you….are you admitting you deliberately disobeyed one of the primary rules used to keep this town safe?"

"Yes I did…." Merle didn't hesitate to reply.

"And you know…excuse me….do you know that I will have to punish you for that?" The Governor asked.

"Yes I do…." Merle again replied without hesitation.

The Governor stood there and smiled for a moment. As much as he didn't like Merle's earlier public defiance, he couldn't help but admire Merle's ability to take his upcoming punishment like a man. Most others in the town would be crying and begging for forgiveness at this point but not Merle and The Governor knew he'd be getting no begging from Merle.

"Alright then….now that is clear….I'm assuming you know this woman…is this correct?" The Governor asked.

"Yes I do…." Merle replied.

"What's her name?" The Governor asked.

"Gwen…."

"Now if I were to consider letting her stay….you know I'd have to feel as if she were useful to this town…she'd have to have something to offer….we will be using our resources to help nurse her back to health, resources that could be spent on our own town folk…..we can't just let everyone in here…."

"She got lots to offer….once she's well….she used to do nursin' stuff….she's smart…..she can handle herself…she survived a long time on her own. She's strong…" Merle told him.

"This is very interesting to me Merle….you've shown more respect for this woman in the last couple of minutes just speaking of her than you have any woman in this town. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you show any signs of truly caring about anyone...until now….how is it that you know her in the first place? Who is she to you?" The Governor asked.

"She don't make me soft if that's what yer sayin'..…cause she don't…." Merle couldn't help but get angry.

The Governor leaned in closer to Merle and stated calmly. "Just because you show a woman respect doesn't mean it makes you soft Merle. A smart man would realize that….."

Merle fumed from the Governor's words. Merle hated to be called stupid and that's exactly what the Governor was saying.

"Now who is she to you Merle?" The Governor asked.

"I was with her awhile….she did things for me she didn't have to…we was together but we got separated." Merle wasn't sure how to define their relationship but he didn't want to give The Governor all the information on her either. He didn't trust him enough to. He didn't want The Governor to know he left her willingly, or about the house until he knew why she was no longer there.

"Well Merle, why didn't you just say so in the first place?…..I had no idea this was a woman you had been involved with before. Do you think I'm that cold hearted that the woman you care for comes back into your life and I wouldn't be willing to help the two of you reunite? This could even be seen as a miracle in this day and age." The Governor remarked.

Merle's eyes widened. _Woman I care for? What the hell? _Merle hadn't meant to imply they were _together _or give the impression he was smitten with her but now that it's what The Governor thought he just kept his mouth shut. If it kept her safe, he'd have to go along with it for now.

"That certainly makes things much clearer with your behavior…I'm surprised I didn't put it together myself sooner….well then Merle…it's settled…she'll stay. I'll inform Beatrice." The Governor replied. "Oh and while I'm in there, I'll make sure she prepares a room that can accommodate the both of you. It's the least I could do after I'm done with you….you'll need your own time to recooprate."

The Governor motioned for Lincoln and Andrew. Merle's stomach turned but he did his best not to show the look of dread that wanted to creep on his face.

"Take Merle and string him up….I'll be there in a bit to render his punishment. Make sure you gather everyone else to watch."


	21. Chapter 21

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Chapter 21

Lincoln and Andrew led Merle to two parrallel posts near the edge of town.

"Take your coat and shirts off..." Lincoln remarked.

Merle didn't say a word, he removed his coat, unbuttoned his shirt removing it including his black undershirt and threw his clothing to the ground. The chill of the air stung his bare chest. The cold air constricted his lungs as he tried to take a deep breath.

Lincoln grabbed Merle by the left wrist, held it above his head and shackled him to one of the posts. Andrew removed the bayonet from his right wrist guard and attempted to shackle his right wrist but quickly realized without his hand it wouldn't hold him but slide off.

"Uh...Linc...what do I ..." Andrew was at a loss and uncertain of how to even say it.

"I ain't goin' nowhere...one's enough..." Merle remarked. Merle reached his right arm up, resting his stump against the post.

"Fine...Come on Andrew...let's round up everybody..." Lincoln replied as he and Andrew left Merle alone standing between the posts.

Merle just stood there waiting for the punishment that awaited him. He knew exactly what was coming since he had seen it a few times himself. Hell he had been the one to shackle up other men. The difference with him was he wasn't going to cry and beg for lenience.

Merle heard the crowd begin to gather and they all begin to whisper. Finally The Governor arrived and stepped next to Merle, motioning to get everyone's attention.

"Anything you want to say before we begin?" The Governor whispered to him.

"Get on with it..." Merle remarked.

"Alright then...EVERYONE...PLEASE...IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION...FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME AWAY FROM YOUR CHORES AND DUTIES TO COME OUT HERE. THERE IS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY...MANY OF YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT EARLIER TODAY MERLE BROUGHT A STRANGER INTO TOWN...AN INJURED WOMAN...SHE IS CURRENTLY AT THE CLINIC BEING TREATED BY BEATRICE...JUST TO PUT DOWN ANY RUMORS I WANT TO BE CLEAR SHE HAS NOT BEEN BIT. SHE DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE SICK IN ANY WAY. SHE DOES HOWEVER SEEM WEAKENED FROM BEING MALNOURISHED AND FROM BEING EXPOSED TO THE ELEMENTS..." The governor addressed the crowd.

Merle rolled his eyes, his back to the crowd, ready for the Governor to quit talking and start doing. He was about to suffer from the elements himself if the Governor didn't get a move on it as he did his best to fight his body's urge to shiver from the cold.

"I'VE DECIDED TO LET THIS WOMAN STAY AND BEFORE YOU JUDGE...LET ME EXPLAIN WHY...PLEASE...IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION...THIS IS A WOMAN THAT OUR TRUSTED MERLE KNEW FROM HIS PAST, SOMEONE HE CARED FOR...NOW I KNOW THAT MAY HARD TO BELIEVE FOR SOME OF YOU...I QUESTIONED IT AT FIRST MYSELF..." The Governor stated.

The crowd all snickered. The Governor smiled and waited for them to quiet down.

Merle couldn't help but get more angry from the laughter. _Yeah...laugh it up...you brainless fucks._ He thought to himself.

"NOW PLEASE...LISTEN...THIS IS A MIRACLE...HOW MANY OF YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE YOUR FAMILY OR LOVED ONES AGAIN? HOW MANY PEOPLE WISH THEY COULD REUNITE WITH THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE...WELL THIS IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MERLE AND WE ALL NEED TO EMBRACE THAT...EMBRACE THE HOPE THAT THIS BRINGS US...EMBRACE THIS WOMAN...A NEW ADDITION TO OUR TOWN...I'VE HEARD WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT HER AND LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS CAPABLE OF AND I IMPLORE YOU ALL TO DO THE SAME...WITH THAT SAID THERE IS ANOTHER ISSUE THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED...AS YOU ALL KNOW WE HAVE RULES IN THIS TOWN...THESE RULES ARE NOT MEANT TO PUNISH YOU...THEY ARE MEANT TO PROTECT YOU...EVEN THOUGH MERLE MAY HAVE HAD GOOD INTENTIONS...HE STILL BROKE THE RULES...HE STILL EXPOSED THE TOWN TO POSSIBLE DANGER AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE...ALL I DESIRE TO DO IS PROTECT YOU...MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO PROTECT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU...MY FAMILY IS GONE...MY FAMILY IS DEAD...THIS TOWN...YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL I HAVE...I WILL STOP AT NO COST TO PROTECT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU...SO BECAUSE OF THIS, MERLE HAS FORCED MY HAND...WHERE THERE ARE RULES...RULES WILL BE BROKEN...WHEN RULES ARE BROKEN...THERE WILL BE PUNISHMENT..." The Governor stood in silence for a moment with the full attention from the crowd.

He turned to face Merle. He reached into his back pocket and removed a large black whip. The cord dropped to the ground as The Governor took a deep breath. Gripping it tightly he swung the whip behind him then quickly snapped it forward as it struck Merle across the back...

Merle cringed with the sting and crackling sound from the first strike but he didn't utter a sound. He was bound and determined not to make a peep...not wanting the Governor to think he had broken him in any way. Again and Again Merle felt the sting of the whip across his back as he winced in pain, keeping his eyes closed the entire time. The whip cracked again against his back but this time a groan slightly escaped from his mouth no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. Again and again the whip cracked against his back. He could feel the flow of warm blood slowly running down his back as the cold air began to steal every last breath in his lungs, barely able to breath before another strike. The whip cracked against his back but this time Merle cried out, unable to control his own body any longer. Again and again he was struck until his legs began to buckle. Once The Governor thought he was at his limit, he wiped the sweat from his own brow and took in a deep breath. He struck him again as hard as he could and Merle's legs dropped from underneath him, the only thing keeping him upright was being chained by his left wrist. Merle gasped for air as his whole body shook from the pain. Groans escaping uncontrollably from his throat. Merle struggled to stay conscious.

The Governor walked up close behind him. Merle could hear The Governor's heavy breathing faintly above his own.

"I hope you understand this needed to be done...defiance is unacceptable at any cost here Merle...it's nothing personal..." the Governor told him.

Merle closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing but pain radiated from his body and the cold was an additional cruelty added to the sting.

The Governor looked at Lincoln and Andrew. "Wait until the crowd is gone then take him to the clinic...

.

...about thirty minutes later, everyone had cleared the area and went about their business. Lincoln and Andrew dragged Merle, gripping under each arm, his body dangling limply between the men as they walked through the main street of the town until they made their way back to the clinic.

Beatrice was waiting at the door for them.

"Come on...bring him back here quickly..." Beatrice said as they followed her to one of the rooms. Roughly they flung Merle's limp body onto one of the beds. Gwen was in the bed next to it on the other side of the room.

"Sorry Merle...but you brought this on yourself..." Lincoln remarked but Merle remained silent.

Merle stared at Gwen...she was still unconscious.

After Lincoln and Andrew left the room, Beatrice began to tend to Merle's wounds.

"How is she?" Merle's voice was even more raspier than normal.

Beatrice looked over at Gwen then back at Merle. "Same as before...there's been no change...her vitals are strong...I think it's just a matter of time...no need for you to worry."

"I ain't worried...I know she's strong as an ox...just asking is all..." Merle barked back at her.

"Alright Merle...whatever you say..." Beatrice couldn't help but smile slightly.


	22. Chapter 22

**Everyone seems to be finding my interpretation of The Governor fairly interesting. I haven't read the comics but from what I've heard about how the TV series wants develop his character, I'm trying to do what I think they mean from what I've heard. It appears to be that it won't be as simple as being looked at as a "good guy" or "bad guy". I think the Governor is capable of heinous things but he does them in his own warped sense of what he thinks is right for the overall good. That's how I tried to show with his punishment of Merle. Although it was overly cruel, The Governor still did it as a means of trying to protect everyone and what he thought was the proper way to keep order in his town. I could be completely wrong so if I am don't hold it against me. In my mind Merle respected it and that's why he "took" his punishment without argument because his primary goal at the moment is to make sure Gwen stays safe. But believe me...Merle will have his limits and continue to have his moments of defiance. Keep up the reviews and your thoughts! Thanks!  
**

Chapter 22

Beatrice found Merle on the floor of the room, crawling towards the cabinets.

"Merle!...What on earth are you doing?" Beatrice remarked as she rushed over towards him.

"Trashcan…" Was all Merle could mutter as he did his best to contain the vomit that was steadily filling his throat.

Beatrice grabbed the steel trashcan and pushed it next to him. Merle clung to it for dear life as he emptied the contents of his stomach into it followed by numerous dry heaves when there was nothing left to spew.

"I'll get you some water…" Beatrice remarked.

Merle rested his head against the rim and waited to make sure he was done. The rancid smell made him even more nauseous but after about a minute he figured it was over. Merle shoved the trash can away from him and rested his cheek against the cold floor. His back felt like it was on fire. The constant shivering from being shirtless outside in the cold for so long made his body ache that much more. The cold floor just made things worse but he was too exhausted to pick himself off the floor.

Beatrice walked back in and rested the glass of water on the counter. She squatted down next to Merle and gently grabbed hold of his bicep. "Come on Merle….you need to get back up…you can't stay in the floor."

Merle rested his forehead against the floor, muttered something to himself but found the strength to get back to his feet enough to make his way back to the bed as he grunted and groaned. He laid on his stomach and closed his eyes for a moment.

"I leave you for just a moment and you end up on the floor...I swear you've always been my worst patient. Now this is going to sting a bit Merle but I have to clean the wounds….we don't want you getting these infected….but don't worry….I'll give you something for the pain." Beatrice stated.

Merle opened his eyes and stared at Gwen on the other side of the room, still unconscious on the other bed. He found it hard to believe she was there in Woodbury….after all this time….

.

A woman with shoulder length blond hair, high heels and an outfit that clearly looked too young for her age and too small to be wearing, marched towards the clinic.

"Darlene…where do you think you are going?" The Governor asked as he came up from behind her.

Darlene whipped her head around and rested her hands on her hips. "I'm goin' to check on Merle…."

The Governor couldn't help but smirk. "I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Well I do…Mere's my man and I'm gonna take care of him!" She barked.

The Governor chuckled slightly and took a deep breath. "Now listen….I understand your concern Darlene but I assure you Merle is getting the best care….even if this other woman wasn't in the picture I don't think Merle would appreciate the fuss you are making over him…now go on back to tend your bar."

"I ain't goin' nowhere 'til I see Merle….he don't want me here, he can tell me himself! Besides I don't buy this crap about this bein' his woman….he ain't mentioned her once." Darlene snapped back at him.

"And you and Merle talk often?" The Governor downright laughed at her. "I was under the impression there was very little talking involved...Haven't you learned by now Darlene that just because you spread your legs to someone doesn't mean that you are in a relationship with them….we all know Merle…..and we all know his general attitude towards women….don't make things out to be more than they are..." The Governor told her as he started to walked towards the clinic.

Darlene followed behind him, still determined to go in. "Well then...even more reason not to believe this crap about her...he's makin' it up or somethin'."

The Governor stopped at the door and turned back towards her.

"I don't believe you heard me properly." The Governor's amusement of it all was quickly fleeting as he was beginning to get annoyed. "I will not tolerate senseless drama and dissension in this town….if Merle wishes to see you, he will ask for you...if he does then fine…until then you are to return to your bar…tend to your customers and go about your business as usual."

"But I…." Darlene attempted to argue but was interrupted by The Governor.

"This is not up for debate Darlene...sometimes things just aren't as you wish them to be...sometimes choices are made and sometimes people have to suffer because of those choices...today should've been a reminder to you of that...it concerns me that you didn't see the point of this display."

Darlene stared in silence at him. The Governor could see the fear in her eyes as they began to well up with tears. He stared at her coldly sending a chill down her spine. Quickly she turned and headed back down the street.

.

"How are our patients Beatrice?" The Governor inquired.

"Well one's behaving nicely and the other…..well the other is Merle…." She smiled at him.

"Has she regained consciousness?" The Governor asked.

"Not yet but I think it will be soon….she's been stirring a bit…would you like me to notify you when she does?" Beatrice asked.

"Immediately….please…" The Governor entered the room where Gwen and Merle were being cared for.

He noticed Gwen had rolled to her side facing towards the room. Merle was lying on his stomach, his eyes glued on her until The Governor entered the room.

The Governor crossed over the room and leaned against Merle's bed with his back towards him and folded his arms across his chest. He watched Gwen with Merle for a moment before speaking.

"I hope you know this was all business Merle….I have a great respect for you regardless of how insubordinate and bullheaded you can sometimes be…I don't want there to be hard feelings." The Governor remarked.

"Ain't cross….besides….you crack a whip like a girl…." Merle remarked as he began to laugh to himself but a surge of pain from the movement quickly put an end to it.

The Governor looked down at the bandages that covered Merle's bare back. He couldn't help but laugh at Merle's comment himself. "You are always full of wise cracks Merle….never ceases to amaze me….your mouth will get you in trouble one of these days with the wrong person though…I hope you realize that…"

"I ain't changing for nobody….take it or leave it…." Merle remarked.

"Well….there's something to be said for that too I suppose….guess that's why I've always regarded you highly with my other men. There's very little that intimidates you Merle...I like that...I was thinking….you usually stay in the rooming house with the other men without families here….why don't I speak with Nancy about putting you and Gwen up in the hotel once you leave here…families are mainly on the first and second floors...I'm not sure there's anyone on the third...that way you have a little privacy to get reacquainted." The Governor informed him.

Merle just remained quiet. He wasn't sure what to say. He initially figured Gwen would have a better chance of being able to safely stay with The Governor mistaking their relationship as something more but now he was beginning to see how complicated things were about to become. Even more so he wondered what Gwen's reaction would be once he was able to speak with her. Quickly he was starting to doubt how he would pull off this charade.

"Oh and by the way….Darlene tried to come by and see you….I figured with Gwen here it wasn't a good idea but that's something I suggest you address once you are feeling better…." The Governor remarked as he started to exit the room.

_Darlene…..ah damn…_ Merle closed his eyes in frustration. If he thought things were getting complicated just with the thought of he and Gwen sharing a room…things were about to get real ugly with Darlene. Darlene didn't mean much to him. She was fun to have a drink with and fun for a roll in the hay but that was about it. Merle had never been one much for relationships his whole life. He thought he made himself clear with her that he was just looking for some fun. Just the thought of now having to deal with her on top of everything else was giving him a headache.

.

Gwen could hear the faint sound of voices as she opened her eyes. Startled and confused, she was hesitant to move at first. Her leg throbbed with pain as she reached down and felt her heavily bandaged shin. Carefully she moved her foot, thinking that although it would be painful, she could probably walk on it. She scanned the room and noticed a man on the other side, laying on his stomach with his head turned towards the wall. There was a faint but audible snore coming from him. His back was bandaged but blood had soaked through in some areas. She didn't know if he had been attacked by a walker or what but she didn't intend to stick around to find out.

Slowly she sat up and realized she was wearing a hospital gown. She had no idea where she was and was amazed at how "normal" everything in the room seemed. They even had electricity which was rare in most places. Carefully she put weight on both her legs but pain radiated through her right leg. She had to push through it, she had to ignore it. She didn't know how she got there but she wasn't going to wait and see what was next. She hobbled around the room looking for her belongings and clothes but couldn't find them. _Fuck! _How would she get out of there without any of her things let alone clothes. The draft against her backside caused her to shiver. She grabbed at the back of the gown and attempted to pull it closed. She also wasn't too fond of the fact that someone had managed to undress her. _The bear trap…..the woods…..Who found me and why did they bring me here? What do they want from me?_ Gwen knew she might be over reacting but she couldn't help it….it was just instinct.

Quietly Gwen opened each drawer on the cabinets looking for something to use as a weapon. She wanted to be prepared if someone returned. She kept looking back at the man on the bed making sure she wasn't waking him. She found a large pair of scissors in one of the drawers and gripped it tightly.

Hesitantly she made her way over next to the man's bed. She studied his wounds for a moment, staring at the blood soaked gauze. Seeing them closer made it evident it was not the work of a walker. The lines appeared to be distinct and crossways across his back. A walker would've clawed more causing them to look more undefined. This was clearly done with intention to the man by someone. Gwen's stomach turned wondering of the mess she now had gotten herself into. If these new people were the ones inflicting this type of pain on someone, why would they bother patching her up. The man stirred causing Gwen to step backwards as he turned his head towards her. She cringed in pain at first as she put the weight on her injured leg but quickly her emotions turned to ones of shock and disbelief when she realized who the man looked like.

"Merle?...it can't be..." She whispered as her eyes widened as she moved back closer to him to get a better look. She felt a sense of relief to see him after all this time but it quickly turned to fear by his condition and not knowing where they really were.

Gwen heard the door open, jerking her head towards the sound as she raised her hand.

The Governor entered first with Beatrice close behind him. He stopped as soon as he saw Gwen standing next to a sleeping Merle, ready to attack both of them with a large pair of scissors in her hand. He noticed she looked confused and afraid.

"You're finally awake…." The Governor remarked as he saw Gwen standing before him.

Gwen didn't say a word. She just stared sternly at him, ready to make a move if he got too close.

"Please….don't be frightened….we're just trying to help." Beatrice remarked as she started to walk closer towards Gwen.

Gwen shifted most of her weight onto her good leg. Her heart was racing and she tried her best to keep steady controlled breaths.

"Stay right there….don't come any closer….who are you?...Where am I?... How did I get here?" The Governor noticed that although he could see the fear on Gwen's face that she hid it well in her voice. She sounded confident and strong. He didn't doubt for a moment that if need be, she was prepared for a fight...injured or not.

"Beatrice….please….go on back to your office…I'll handle this…." The Governor told her.

Hesitantly Beatrice obeyed his orders and left the room.

"Please….Gwen…we aren't here to hurt you….you can relax."

"How do you know my name?...Did you do this to him?" Gwen couldn't help but raise her voice as she gestured with her head back towards Merle. Her adrenaline was surging in her body and she struggled to contain herself and not shake as she held the scissors pointed towards The Governor.

Gwen's voice woke Merle. As he realized she was standing next to him, threatening the Governor with scissors, him looking none too happy, he tried to jump up but almost fell over in his tracks from the pain.

"God Damn…." Merle complained as he struggled to his feet. Gwen kept the one hand holding the scissors pointed at the Governor as she grabbed hold of Merle's bicep with her other to help keep him from falling.

"Come on Merle...I'm getting us out of here." Gwen told him but quickly directed her attention back towards The Governor. "Now get out of our way..."

The Governor crossed his arms but didn't budge. He even chuckled to himself confusing Gwen even more. "Well she's definitely a spitfire Merle...I can see her appeal to you.'

Merle reached over and wrapped his fingers over top of Gwen's hands as they gripped the scissors. "Let go…it's alright…" He said softly.

Gwen looked at Merle confused as she tightened her grip. Merle refused to let go of her hand as he stared into her eyes. He watched as Gwen's eyes quickly filled with tears. Gwen's impulse was to wrap her arms around Merle but she fought the urge, completely confused as to what was going on.

"Stop this shit before you hurt somebody." Merle ordered as he raised his voice. She slowly released her grip and Merle pulled the scissors away from her. He slowly made his way over to the counter behind her and shoved them back into one of the drawers. Merle leaned on the counter a moment to steady himself. He could feel Gwen's eyes still on them.

"Thank you Merle...Gwen...please...It's not good for you to be on your feet again so quickly...you must give yourself a chance to heal...please...at least sit back down on your bed." The Governor motioned for her to return to the other side of the room once she looked back towards him as he spoke.

Gwen, still feeling completely lost looked back at Merle for some sort of answer or direction but Merle just leaned against the counter with his back towards her. Merle was the last person she expected to see but he didn't seem the least bit surprised to see her and that made her even more bewildered.

Gwen hobbled back to her bed and turned to sit down. The Governor started to move closer to her to help her but she quickly directed her attention towards him and snapped. "Don't touch me!"

The Governor raised both his hands and shook his head as if he wouldn't dream of it. At this point Merle slowly started to make his way back to the bed. He knew his beating from the Governor was going to be bad but he hadn't expected it to be this debilitating for him. He had underestimated just how painful the Governor's strikes would be.

The three of the remained in awkward silence for a moment but was broken by Gwen as she spoke. "Did you do this to him?" Gwen asked the Governor as she glared up at him.

"I think I'll leave the two of you alone so you can talk...I'm sure you have many more questions Gwen...you and I can speak more privately tomorrow once you are both feeling a little better. Beatrice will bring you some food in a bit...I'm sure you are both famished by now." The Governor exited the room and closed the door behind him.

Gwen waited a moment for him to be gone from the hallway and limped her way over to the door and checked to see if it was locked...it wasn't.

"Where the hell are we Merle?" Gwen asked. "I want some answers..."

"Relax...it ain't nothin'...you're safe here as long as you don't keep doin' crazy shit like tryin' to attack people with scissors with your ass hangin' out the back of your gown." Merle remarked as he laughed a little, trying his best to keep from moving much to avoid the pain.

Embarrassed, Gwen clutched the back of her gown and limped over to Merle's bed. She stood there for a moment and just stared at him. Merle felt like she wanted to say or do something but she just remained quiet and eventually sat next to him on the edge of the bed.

Merle looked up at her as he watched a tear run down her cheek. He started to reach for her leg in an attempt to comfort her as she sat close but stopped himself. He could see how confused and frustrated she was. He could also see the fear she fought so hard to hide. She quickly brushed the tear away and cleared her throat. There was no question she was fighting back others.

"What happened to you..." She asked again.

"Let's just say I ain't never been much for followin' rules." Merle stated.

"What does that mean Merle...I don't understand what the hell is going on here. How did I get here? How is it that you're here? I never thought I'd see you again..." Gwen remarked.

"You trust I'd get us both out if it ain't safe right?" Merle asked as he waited for a response from Gwen. She nodded her head yes.

"Then that's all you need to know...ya need to mind ya own...shut the hell up and go lay back down...I needs my beauty sleep." Merle closed his eyes and didn't speak again.

Gwen sat there for a moment in hopes he would say something else but once she realized he wouldn't she went back to her bed, frustrated and laid down. _Same ole Merle...just as big of an ass as he ever was..._


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for all the great feedback! Y'all are definately helping me with some decisions and questions I had with what direction to go in so be sure to keep up the reviews! Your input counts!**

Chapter 23

Beatrice pulled some gauze, first aid tape and antiobiotic ointment from the cabinet and placed it all in a bag.

"The Governor tells me you used to be a nurse so I'm assuming tending to Merle's wounds won't be too much trouble for you…he really needs to stay in bed for a few days and not move around much. He needs a chance to heal and keep the scabs forming from splitting open." Beatrice told her.

"Well….I'm not really a nurse…" Gwen figured Merle must've told them some things about her. "I started out in nursing school but had to drop out…but I am concerned about Merle...do you know what happened?" Gwen replied. Gwen was a little confused why Beatrice assumed she would take care of Merle but she didn't pay much mind to it since she had done it before. Her main focus was finding out what had happened to cause them in the first place.

Beatrice ignored Gwen's questions which only did more to frustrate her. "I brought you a bag of clothes…I collected them from various women in town….they all didn't mind donating seeing as you didn't come here with much…this will at least get you started." Beatrice pointed towards a paper shopping bag on the floor. Gwen walked over and looked through it. It had the basics, jeans, a few shirts and sweaters and a green dress.

"A dress?...I couldn't tell you the last time I wore a dress…." Gwen laughed a little to herself. Gwen was trying her best to keep her frustration from showing, hoping the nicer she was to the woman that maybe she could get some answers.

"Well…..seeing that you and Merle are reunited, thought maybe you'd want to look nice for him….dress up a little from time to time." Beatrice remarked.

"What?" Gwen asked as she laughed a little to herself even more confused but also a little embarrassed.

"Nancy, who runs the hotel….she also used to do hair….she could fix that….um…I mean if you wanted…I…uh" Beatrice wasn't sure how to nicely tell Gwen her hair looked like shit.

"I'm sorry...I think you have the wrong idea..." Gwen started to say as she got dressed in the jeans and a gray sweater. She sat on the edge of the bed and struggled to get her boots on. Before she could finish Merle walked in with The Governor.

"Ya ready?" Merle asked as he entered the room followed by The Governor. His long sleeved flannel shirt was barely buttoned….just enough to hold it together. Gwen could see from the way he stood that his back still hurt greatly. If it were up to him he would've walked outside with no shirt on but with how cold it was Beatrice insisted on him wearing something. She said the last thing she wanted was for him to come back with pneumonia but Gwen suspected the last thing she really wanted was Merle as a patient again.

"I guess..." Gwen looked back at Beatrice debating whether she bother correcting her on her relationship with Merle. Beatrice didn't seem to be listening all that closely anyways. Gwen stood up and stepped closer to Merle.

"Gwen I've arranged for you and Merle to have better accomodations at the hotel than where he is currently staying."

"Thanks but I..." Gwen was now baffled by the assumption everyone seemed to be having with her and Merle.

Before she couldn't finish her sentence Merle cupped her face in his hand and wrapped his arm around her waist as he pulled her closer and planted a firm kiss on her mouth. Merle didn't count on a simple peck to shut her up...he made the kiss count. So much so he didn't stop until he felt her knees slightly buckle but he gripped her tightly.

"Alright I get it...the two of you are ready to go...Beatrice thank you for your help...I'll see them over to Nancy's." The Governor remarked as he chuckled slightly and turned to exit the building.

"Sorry Gov...just can't help myself sometimes with this girl...embarrasses her a little but she just **_goes along with_ _it_**..." Merle hollared after the Governor as he gave Gwen a _"get it?" _look and they both followed after him.

Gwen was still in a stunned silence as she limped along with her hand over her mouth. As they slowly followed behind the Governor out into town Gwen could feel Merle staring at her.

"Didn't know I could kiss a woman like that now did ya?" Merle boasted with a sly grin.

Gwen looked at him and fought back the embarrassed smile of her own. "You have some serious explaining to do Merle..."

They made their way over towards the hotel and were met in the lobby by Nancy. Gwen noticed Nancy had a slightly horrific look on her face as she looked at Gwen's hair. Her brown hair had grown out just past her chin with the tips now a strange combination of faded pink, a paler pink and hints of blond. She imagined it must look like a mess. They followed Nancy to their room. She handed Merle the key and started on her way out but turned back towards Gwen.

"Um dear…..I used to do hair if you ever want to….um…if…." Nancy started to say but Merle interrupted her.

"If she ever wants to fix that ugly shit?" Merle asked as he started to laugh.

Nancy shot Merle a dirty look and then a sympathetic one towards Gwen. "Well….you know where to find me." She smiled as she closed the door behind herself.

Gwen whipped around to Merle. "Really? You're starting with the insults this early? If you want people thinkin' we're together...which it clearly seems you do then you can't talk to me like shit the whole time if you want people to buy it...and I'm just dyin' to hear your explanation for this in the first place..."

Merle walked closer towards Gwen and stood before her. He moved in close and rested his hand against her hip. He slid his thumb up under the edge of her sweater and caressed it against her bare skin.

"Well I can act real nice if ya let me…" Merle leaned in as if he were about to kiss her again. Gwen's heart began to race unsure of what she should do but Merle stopped just short and started to laugh as he backed away. Gwen slapped his hand away.

"MERLE! Quit fuckin' around...you need to be straight with me!" Gwen remarked.

"What?" Merle laughed. "I'm tryin to be nice….to go along with our act…ya know…like you was sayin'"

Gwen rolled her eyes and began to unpack her things. _God he's impossible... _She mumbled to herself. Merle climbed on the bed onto his stomach and groaned in pain.

"Are you ok?" Gwen, looking worried, rushed over towards the bed.

Merle laid on his stomach and did his best to breathe through the pain. "Don't be jumpin' every time I make a sound...or you're gonna make your leg just that much worse...betcha didn't think a reunion with me would be spent with us in bed did ya?" Merle grinned devilishly.

"How can you joke so much at a time like this? You haven't hardly told me shit...your back is horrendous...you made that man think we're _together_...at some point ya need to explain to me what the fuck is going on...how long have you been here? What's with this act? Why won't you tell me what happened? What happened to finding your brother? What happened to your quest for revenge?" Gwen couldn't help but say the last part sarcastically. His lack of being forthcoming and his calmness in being there was unsettling to her.

"First off...I ain't forgotten about shit...you don't need to worry 'bout what I'm doin' when it comes to my brother or anybody else from that group...it ain't none your business anyhow..." Merle said sternly. "But I also ain't answerin' twenty questions neither...You in such a hurry to figure everythin' out...you got somewhere better you gotta be? Besides...they came to that themselves 'bout you 'n' me. It ain't from me sayin' we were...the only reason why I went along with it was cause I figured you'd get a better chance of stayin' safe here. That man is the one that decides whether you stay here or not...but it ain't as simple as if he don't want you here you just get to leave in one piece neither..." Merle remarked.

"What the fuck does that mean? He did this to you didn't he? Why?" She asked. Merle could hear the anger in her voice.

"I told ya…it ain't nothin'…..just is what it is..leave it alone…" Merle closed his eyes and pretended as if he were going to go to sleep.

"I want to know what the hell is going on Merle…" Gwen said sternly.

"Yeah well I want a big ass steak and a baked potato but I ain't gettin' that today neither." Merle sassed back at her.

"God you piss me off! Why do you always have to be so difficult?" Gwen got up and limped over to the window and sat in the window seat attached. She stared out the window and looked at the town...it all seemed so...normal...

"Just leave it alone…..mind your own business." Merle quipped.

Gwen stopped pressing the issue as Merle seemed to settle more into the bed. The Governor had already said they would need to _talk privately._ If she had to find out the truth from the source...she would...but one way or another she was finding out.

.

Gwen waited until she knew Merle was sound asleep and she made her way out of the hotel. She limped her way back to the clinic since it was the only place she was really familiar with.

Beatrice had just stepped outside and was locking the door when Gwen approached her. The woman jumped from being startled.

"Gwen dear….is something wrong?" Beatrice asked.

"Yes….yes there is….I want to talk to that man...I want to know what happened to Merle." Gwen demanded.

"What did Merle tell you?" Beatrice asked.

"He didn't tell me anything...that's why I want to talk to him...unless you plan to tell me but you've been more evasive than even Merle about it...did that man tell you not to tell me?" Gwen asked.

Beatrice smiled and shook her head. "No...Merle asked me not to..."

"Why would he do that? That doesn't make sense.." Gwen remarked.

"That's just something you will have to work out between you and Merle...I didn't ask him why...he asked me not to and I gave him my word I wouldn't."

"Well somebody one way or another is going to tell me today. Do you know where that man is or not?" Gwen snapped at her.

"Follow me..." She said hesitantly.

Gwen followed her to one of the main buildings. There were armed men at the entrance but they let Beatrice and her pass without question. She followed her to a large office.

The Governor was sitting at his desk studying a map.

"Beatrice...Gwen...what a pleasant surprise." He remarked as he looked up when they entered the room.

"She wanted to speak with you...I figured it would be alright to bring her here." Beatrice informed him. She then turned and stepped behind Gwen and left the building.

The Governor stood up from behind his desk and motioned for Gwen to sit down. She hobbled into his office and sat in one of the chairs across from him. It was a welcomed rest to her throbbing leg.

"You really shouldn't be walking around so much so soon..." The Governor remarked.

"You can quit the phony caring act...I highly doubt it makes any difference to you how well I recover...I came here for some answers..." Gwen barked.

"That's where you are wrong...I do genuinely care...maybe being out there has made it hard to believe that...I understand that...I really do...we've all suffered in many ways, some similar, some different but suffered nonetheless. But please...what is it that you are so worked up about?" He asked.

"I want to know what happened to Merle?" Gwen asked.

"Why wouldn't you just ask Merle?" The Governor asked.

"I did but he refused to tell me…" Gwen replied.

"Why do you think that is?"

"I'm not sure…why do you keep answering my questions with a question? What kind of game are you tryin' to play?" Gwen stated.

"Well….I assure you I'm not playing any games with you...maybe he doesn't want you to know, maybe that's why he didn't tell you himself….but regardless….I don't have any problem telling you….you see, my primary goal here is to keep the residents of this town safe. We have built a secure area here for ourselves and I intend to keep it that way. The only way for that to happen is to have rules and order and Merle broke one of those rules….when someone breaks a rule….they are punished, it's as simple as that."

"So you did it? You did that to his back? Don't you think it's a bit extreme? What gives you the right to judge people so harshly?" Gwen asked.

"Yes I did and I'll do it again if I have to. As far as extreme….we live in an extreme world now…sometimes it's the only thing these days that will keep people in line. As far as if I have the right? Well this is my town, run my way, by my rules." The Governor replied.

Gwen shook her head but remained silent.

"What is it? What would you like to say Gwen?" He asked.

Gwen looked directly at him but remained silent.

"Please….you clearly have more to say so say it….I'm not an unreasonable man….you can say whatever it is you choose." The Governor told her.

"I just don't understand what Merle did that was so horrible to break one of your "rules" to warrant that type of beating…you want to keep people in line...sounds more like under your thumb." Gwen remarked. The Governor could hear the anger in her voice.

"It's not that Gwen but I don't expect you to understand...not right now with your emotions running high and again...I can't say I blame you. It may seem extreme or over done...but I assure you...it carries results and that's ultimately all I care about. As far as what exactly Merle did...Ironically….it was you…." The Governor replied.

Gwen looked confused. She just stared at him as he looked at her from the other side of the table with his arms crossed over his chest. "Me?"

"Yes you…we have a rule here that you are not to bring injured strangers into town without my approval. Merle brought you… he and Lincoln discovered you injured in the woods from one of the steel jaw traps...I don't have any doubt that you probably would be dead right now if he hadn't done it and Merle realized that at the time as well...that's why he did it...he had to save you...but he knew what the punishment would be if he did it and he chose to do it anyways….that's why I had to make an example out of him. If I had only slapped him on the wrist then suddenly others would start doing the same…or break other rules. Then who knows where that could lead to. You'll learn all the rules soon yourself and you'll learn what the punishments are...if you intend to live here then you can't complain of consequences when you are fully aware of them."

Gwen suddenly felt nauseous. So it was because of her Merle took the heavy beating. She couldn't help but also recall the time he saved her from the two men in the woods. She owed Merle her life for the second time. Guilt hit her like a large wave. Gwen took a deep breath. "And if I don't want to stay and abide by your rules?" Gwen said with less conviction.

"We'll cross that bridge if and when we get to it...your fear and anger are understandable….please….just take a deep breath...go back to Merle….spends some time alone together and I'm sure you'll feel better in no time….but please if you ever need anything….don't hesitate to come to me." The Governor stated.

"I'm not afraid of you..." Gwen remarked coldly.

The Governor smiled slyly at her but remained silent as they both stared at one another.

"Excuse me Gov...there' somethin' on the north side of town ya might want to see..." Lincoln had entered the room and stopped at the doorway.

"Well...please Gwen...you'll have to excuse me, I have business to tend to. Get some rest. I'd love to speak to you again...I'm looking forwarded to seeing exactly what you are capable of." He stood up and motioned for her to leave.

She quickly stood up and hobbled her way as quickly as she could towards the door. The Governor followed after her, escorting her back outside.

"I meant what I said Gwen…if there's anything you need don't hesitate to come to me…."

Gwen walked back towards the hotel and didn't look back. She felt sick and wanted to cry. Merle had taken that beating for her...to try and keep her safe and Gwen couldn't help but hate herself for it.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Merle woke back up just as Gwen was closing the door to their room. She sat on the edge of the bed and removed her boots, letting them drop to the floor.

"Where've you been?" Merle asked.

Gwen looked over at him and acted as if she was about to speak but quickly turned her head back. He watched the heavy rise and fall of her shoulders as she took a deep breath. Her face looked pale.

Merle pushed himself up to sitting and scooted next to her on the bed.

"What's wrong with you?" Merle asked.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Gwen asked. Her voice was softer than usual and she didn't bother to make eye contact with him.

"Cause…..I knew what I was gettin' myself into….Who told you?…was that stupid nurse won't it? Damn Beatrice…shoulda known I couldn't trust her to keep her trap shut." Merle shook his head in frustration, part of why he didn't want her to know was because he knew she'd feel guilty and he didn't want that.

"It wasn't her…..I went to see the Governor…" Gwen remarked.

"You went ta see him?" Merle asked as his eyes widened. He seemed in disbelief for a moment but quickly snapped himself out of it. Before she had a chance to respond, Merle roughly grabbed her by the jaw and turned her face towards him. Gwen grabbed hold of his wrist as he squeezed his hand tight.

"Don't you ever go see him again without tellin' me first…..you hear me? I ain't playin' with you girl….don't!" Merle snapped at her.

"I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO IF YOU HAD JUST TOLD ME YOURSELF!" Gwen yelled at him as she shoved his hand away.

Gwen couldn't help but start to cry. She bowed her head and covered her eyes with one hand.

Merle sat there in silence and just watched her for a few minutes. He wanted to wrap both arms around her and pull her close but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. From the moment he first saw her in the woods, she had stirred up feelings in him that he thought were long gone. Planting a firm one on her back at the clinic only added to his own frustrations. He couldn't stop thinking about kissing her but he did his best to try and ignore the nagging feelings. He didn't want to worry about her or care about how she felt. He couldn't let himself. It would be too much of a distraction and he had to stay focused. Her being there wasn't going to work but where else could she go?

"Why didn't ya stay at the house? What was you doin' out there in the woods?" Merle finally asked.

Gwen wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath. She sat upright and looked at Merle. Her eyes were full of anger towards him. "Because Merle…..I got over run…..why the hell do you think I was out there without shit in the cold? Because walkers over ran the house….I had no choice."

"Naw….that house was safe…we made it secure…ain't no way some walkers got up in there…." Merle remarked in disbelief as he shook his head.

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A FEW WALKERS MERLE….I'M TALKING A WHOLE FUCKIN' HERD….LIKE FIFTY OR SIXTY…HELL IT COULD'VE BEEN MORE BUT I DIDN'T TAKE THE TIME TO COUNT THEM ALL…" Gwen buried her face in her hands for a moment then looked back up at Merle. "Besides…..what choice did I have….I didn't have anyone to help me….it's not like I was hold up in a comfy town with food, medicine, weapons and tons of people to help me…no Merle….I was strugglin' alone…wondering where my next meal was coming from if I was even gettin' a next meal and trying not to freeze to death…" Gwen stood up and limped her way to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Gwen plopped herself on the floor with her back against the door. She started to cry again but didn't make any effort to stop. She was at her wits end. She never thought she would see Merle again but she always figured if there was a slim chance she would it would've been different than this. Here she was with him again, in a town full of people but she still felt just as alone as before.

Merle quietly walked over to the bathroom door. He stood in front of it for a moment and started to speak but stopped himself. He gently rested his hand against the door and pressed his forehead against it and closed his eyes. _You can't let her make you soft….you can't….she don't mean nothin'….she can't mean nothin' to ya…._

The knock at the door startled Merle. He slowly walked over to the door and cracked it open.

Darlene stood there with her hand on her hips.

"You and me have some talkin' to do…" Darlene demanded.

Merle looked over his shoulder and saw the bathroom door was still closed so he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

He grabbed Darlene by the arm and started to walk her away from the room and down the hallway.

"What the hell you think you doin'?" Merle snapped at her.

"Who is she Merle? I know you don't care about her….she don't even look like your type…in fact she don't look like nobody's type with that God awful hair of hers." Darlene remarked as she jerked her arm away.

Merle stopped in his tracks and they both turned towards each other. "Shut up...I ain't got time for you right now…I'll talk to ya later…just leave it alone for right now." Merle told her.

Darlene ran her hands against his chest and around the back of his neck. She leaned in close and whispered into his ear as she gently nibbled on the lobe between words. "But Merle….I was so worried about ya after what The Governor did…I need ya…let me take care of ya…"

Merle closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Darlene started to run her hand down his chest and further south but Merle gripped her wrist and stopped her. He opened his eyes and glared at her.

"I said I ain't got time right now….I'll come for ya when I can but I need time…." Merle said sternly.

Darlene stepped away from him looking disappointed. "So….what?...you need time with her? Who is she really?"

"Get lost Darlene…." Merle quipped and started to walk back to the room.

"I ain't done with ya….ya hear me?" Darlene shouted angrily.

Merle ignored her and went back into the room. Once inside he noticed Gwen was laying on the left side of the bed facing towards the window with her back to him. Merle crawled back up the foot of the bed and laid on his stomach. He hated to sleep so much during the day but with Beatrice and The Governor giving him strict orders on not moving around too much or doing any lifting, there wasn't much else for him to do not to mention there wasn't much he actually felt like doing. His back throbbed for the pain and he knew the more he moved around the worse it would get. He kept thinking he should say something to Gwen but didn't know what else to say to her at that moment and he didn't want to start an argument with her either. They both just lay there in silence until both fell asleep.

.

_Merle woke up and sat upright on the bed. He rested both hands on either side of him….then he realized….he had **both **his hands….slowly he lifted up his right hand and stared at it in amazement. He looked around the room and realized he was back in the house he had been in with Gwen. Slowly he stood to his feet and headed towards the doorway. Merle looked down the hallway but didn't see anyone. Everything seemed bright and clean, no more dust that lined the furniture and floor as it had been while they were there. He made his way to the top of the stairs and could hear voices in the kitchen. _

_Cautiously Merle made his way down the stairs and heard the rattling of pots and pans. Merle found himself staring into the kitchen at the doorway in disbelief. There was Gwen standing at the counter next to the sink chopping vegetables. Her hair was longer and all one color for a change but the real surprise was who was standing next to her….._

"_Daryl quit….get out of my kitchen and get your dirty hands away from our food….you're filthy!" Gwen playfully smacked Daryl's wrist as he reached for another cucumber slice, successfully stealing it and popping it in his mouth._

"_Alright I'm goin' you ain't gotta be all mean about it…." Daryl quipped back at her as he glared at her but as soon as his back was towards her he smiled to himself. His eyes met Merle's and he gave Merle a subtle head nod._

" '_Bout time your lazy ass got up!...Got us a deer…come on out and help me skin it." Daryl remarked as he headed towards the front door. He playfully punched Merle in the shoulder as he passed by him._

_Merle was at a loss for words….his hand….Gwen….Daryl…all under the same roof and everything seeming so "peaceful"….it had to be a dream but if it was a dream he didn't want to wake up from it anytime soon._

"_I was starting to think you'd never wake up myself…you work yourself too hard ya know…" Gwen said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. If he was dreaming, it sure felt real. What felt most real to Merle, was being able to touch her with both hands. Merle ran his right hand up the side of her arm, following the outline of her shoulder then up towards her cheek as he gently cupped her face in his hand._

"_Now go help your brother….he's got his mind set on cookin' up some venison tonight…." Gwen stepped away from him and walked over to the pantry and opened the door._

_Merle's eyes widened and fear washed over his entire body as he watched the walker lunged towards her as she smiled at him oblivious to what lurked behind the pantry door. Merle reached out to grab her with his right hand but as soon as he did it turned into a worthless bloody stump. Gwen cried out to Merle as the walker grabbed hold of her and bit down onto her shoulder._

"_NO!..." Merle yelled but before he could reach for her with his left, he felt someone grab hold of his arm. He looked to see who or what it was and saw The Governor standing next to him._

"_She's as good as dead Merle…..besides….this isn't you….domestic bliss? Who are you kidding really? Even if you found your brother and things went back to normal…do you really think she'd stay with you then….once she realizes what losers you and your little brother are? She wouldn't want you for a second…." The Governor told him._

Merle woke up startled as he pushed himself off his stomach and onto his elbows. He immediately noticed the bed was empty. He struggled to catch his breath.

"You ok?" Gwen asked.

Merle looked towards the window and saw her sitting in the window seat. The sun was just beginning to set and there was a warm glow that silhouetted her.

"Fine…" Merle snapped. He hated having crazy dreams and this one had certainly earned its way to the top of the list.

"You were talking in your sleep…..do you remember what you were dreaming about?" Gwen asked.

Merle pushed himself up to sitting on the bed and grabbed his shirt off the bed post and struggled to put it on. The temperature in the room was beginning to drop from the lack of sunlight.

"Nancy brought us some wood for the fire place a little bit ago while you were sleeping…we'll probably need to build a fire later to stay warm at night." Gwen limped back over to the bed and sat next to him. "Listen….I've been doing a lot of thinking just sitting here for a few hours and I just wanted to say…." Gwen gently rested her hand on the top of his thigh.

Roughly Merle brushed her hand away. "I don't give a shit what yer thinkin' about….whatever….I'm hungry…gonna find somethin' to eat." Merle stood up and walked to the bathroom and slammed the door.

Gwen just sat there for a moment with her mouth open, surprised by Merle's display of hostility. Merle had been nothing but difficult since they reunited. She didn't know what his dream about and couldn't make out any of his talking in the sleep but whatever it was clearly got to him.

Merle turned on the water in the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. The Governor's words rang loudly in his head. "…_once she realizes what losers you and your little brother are? She wouldn't want you for a second…."_

"Well I don't want her anyhow so it don't matter…." Merle said to himself as he watched the water drip off his face as he looked in the mirror. He started to reach to turn off the water with his right hand and noticed the leather and metal guard covering his wrist. He swung his wrist hard at the mirror….shattering it as he cussed at the world.

"Damn fuckin' cop…you're gonna be sorry one of these days….I promise you that."….

.

Gwen heard the glass breaking and started to check on Merle but after hearing his multitude of swearing afterwards, assumed he was fine and clearly in no mood for anyone else. Gwen was getting hungry too and debated on not waiting for Merle considering his foul attitude but decided to wait anyways.

Merle came out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes later and saw her waiting on the edge of the bed with her shoes on and a coat he hadn't seen before. There was another coat lying across the bed that looked like a man's coat.

"Where's that from?" Merle asked as he gestured towards the bed.

"Nancy gave me her extra coat for the time being and this coat belonged to her husband. She said you two were about the same size and since he wasn't here to need it any longer it should go to good use…..it is cold out Merle…."

"I didn't ask for no coat…ain't nothin' wrong with the one I had." Merle quipped.

"You mean the one that's worn with all the holes? Well Beatrice doesn't want you catching pneumonia either so doctor's orders…." Gwen smiled at him but she knew it was useless. Merle just grunted and grabbed the coat from the bed. He headed over towards the door and looked back at Gwen.

"Well?...ya comin' or not?" Merle barked.

.

Nancy saw them start to exit the lobby when she called out to them. They both stopped and turned around to see what she wanted.

"If y'all are wantin' some food, the Governor had some dropped off earlier for y'all…guess Merle forgot himself that if you don't eat before 7p.m. you don't get to eat….only exceptions are for people who are patrolling outside the town on assignment…..he did figure you'd be hungry but want you both gettin' your rest so you'll get well so he left it here. I kept it warm in the oven in the kitchen for ya." Nancy informed them.

Merle and Gwen followed her to the kitchen and she prepared both their plates for them. Merle didn't utter a word during dinner or bother to make eye contact.

"Are you still mad at me?" Gwen finally asked.

Merle stopped in mid-chew and looked at her. He pushed the food to the side of his mouth to speak. " 'Bout what?"

"You were none too happy with me about seein' the Governor earlier….you've been so…..cranky since you woke up…figured you were still angry with me." Gwen stated.

Merle just kind of grunted and shrugged but Gwen took that as his version of no.

"So you gonna tell me what's wrong or are ya just going to act pissed all evening?" Gwen asked.

Merle sighed deeply…. "Just got things on my mind is all….don't start askin' me twenty questions now 'bout it….don't feel like talkin' is all…..if living with ya's gonna have ya all up my ass we might have ta have a break up 'front of everyone." Merle went back to eating but Gwen could see him cut his eyes over towards her.

She smiled to herself a moment…she couldn't help but find Merle's hardheadedness funny.

"Ok Merle….I can take a hint…." Gwen stood up and grabbed her plate. She grabbed Merle's bicep and gently squeezed as she limped out of the kitchen.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

A few days had past and both Merle and Gwen were getting around with a little more ease. The rest was providing the recuperation both their bodies needed, especially without the stress of walkers and sheer survival. Gwen still walked with a limp but having her boots support her ankle helped her still get around easily. The marks that had originally drawn blood on Merle's back had fully scabbed over and were no longer at risk of being easily disturbed. He had even moved up to sleeping on his back again which allowed him a better night's sleep, although his incessant increase in snoring didn't do wonders for Gwen. Most of the time she was able to adjust and ignore it but there had been a night or two that he had kept her awake for longer periods than others.

Merle seemed to graduate out of his grumpy mood and slowly began filling in Gwen on all the "rules" of the town. He even went over the punishments for each that he discussed, all of which Gwen thought were overdone and some even somewhat inhumane. The Governor had invited them both for a special dinner at the old fellowship hall in the town's church basement. The Governor didn't have these dinners very often but every once in awhile he would to make special announcements and the like and wanted to make sure all the townsfolk were there.

"What do you think it's about this time? Maybe a new rule or warped punishment he has in mind for everyone?" Gwen yelled at Merle through the bathroom door as she got ready for her shower.

"How the hell should I know...been spendin' all my time with you..." Merle remarked back sarcastically.

"I'm just asking...you've got to have some idea or something...you've been here when he did it before right?" Gwen shouted as she stepped into the shower.

"I don't know...he does it sometimes when there's new people and stuff...guess it's his way of tryin' to impress or somethin'."

"WHAT?" Gwen shouted, unable to hear Merle's response from the shower running.

Merle repeated himself but again was met with a yelling Gwen, still unable to hear him.

Frustrated Merle marched himself into the bathroom and flung back the shower curtain, startling Gwen as she quickly turned her back to him and crossed her arms across her chest. Looking over her shoulder she yelled at him again.

"MERLE WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?" She stated angrily.

"I SAID SOMETIMES HE DOES IT TO IMPRESS NEW PEOPLE...you're the one yellin' at me through that damn door and when you can't hear me from the fuckin' water runnin', what did ya expect?...besides...ain't like I ain't seen it all before." Merle barked back at her.

Merle's eyes wandered up and down her body as he watched the water wash off the suds of soap down her back and ass from the shampoo. He suddenly felt a surge of warmth in his groin and bit the inside of his cheek in attempt to suppress the physical reaction in his body.

"Dammit Merle..." Gwen snatched the shower curtain from his grasp and flung it closed..."Point taken now get out!"

Merle laughed as he headed back into the room. Gwen could feel her cheeks get flushed from the embarrassment. She could feel Merle's eyes hot on her and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he had been thinking at that moment. Gwen continued to shower but soon her mind began to wander in the same direction. She imagined Merle stepping into the shower, pinning her against the cold tile wall as his mouth dove onto her body..._Wait...What am I thinking? I've been cooped up in this room with him too long...but I did catch a glimpse of what that mouth is capable of...if that was just the start I can only imagine what else he's capable of doing...STOP! Stop this at once...there's nothing between you and Merle and there isn't going to be...he's not exactly the romantic type, you're being silly and stupid...he's not your type anyways and neither you his...I'm just being stupid..._ Gwen snapped herself out of it and cut off the water. She towel dried herself off and wrapped the towel around her as she looked for her clothes. _Dammit...I left them in the room...crap..._ Gwen didn't want to go out draped only in a towel with Merle still out there but she didn't have much of a choice. As soon as she opened the door, she heard someone else's voice.

Nancy was standing in the doorway with a men's dress shirt and pair of slacks on a hanger. "I was tryin' to convince Merle he should wear my husband's old clothes instead of his usual attire but he seems fairly resistant."

"Is everyone dressing up? Is it that kind of dinner?" Gwen asked surprised. She hadn't given much thought to what she would be wearing since there wasn't much to choose from in the first place.

"People wear whatever is the nicest thing they still have when The Governor holds these...just out of respect..." Nancy informed her.

"Out of respect huh?" Gwen found the comment kind of amusing considering all the things she had listened to from Merle about rules and punishment. Seemed like the only true respect in the town with the Governor was a one way street. But the truth of the matter was, these people all seemed to respect him and not question anything...everyone including a resistant Merle in some ways. "Well what's the harm Merle?...it's just for a few hours."

"That green dress Beatrice gave you was actually one that belonged to her daughter...I think you would look just lovely in it." Nancy remarked.

"Oh...the dress...yeah...I've never been much for wearing dresses." Gwen replied.

"What's the harm Gwenny? It's just for a few hours..." Merle smirked.

Gwen glared at Merle as she walked over to the closet and pulled it out from the hanger. "Fine...if you will I will then..."

"Don't put it on just yet, come downstairs with me with it and I'll press it...it will look real nice...come on..." Nancy told her.

"Ok...uh...well let me put something on..." Gwen stated.

"Everyone else has already left for the hall...no one will see you just come on..." Nancy informed her.

Gwen hesitantly grabbed her undergarments from the bag in the closet and followed her out in just her towel, carrying her dress. . About halfway at the door Merle spoke up.

"Gwenny I'll just meet ya there...Governor wants to talk ta me before so I'll see ya there?" Merle remarked.

"Alright...but you better be wearin' those clothes..." Gwen shot him an "or else" look.

"Yes boss..." He replied.

.

"Merle...glad you're here...where's Gwen..." The Governor asked.

"She's comin'...ya know women when it comes to gettin' ready..." Merle remarked. He laughed to himself mainly because he knew if Gwen heard him say that she would've slugged him.

"Even better...come on, let's take a quick walk..." The Governor motion down the hallway for Merle.

They walked to another section of the basement of the church where there was no one else in ear shot.

"So...I see you and Gwen are recovering nicely...both of you seem to be getting around more easily." He remarked.

"Yeah...Gwen still limps but overall I think we're healin' just fine." Merle remarked.

"Good...do you feel able to return to your full duties?" The Governor asked.

"Hell yeah I am...'bout to get cabin fever stuffed up in that room..." Merle eagerly remarked.

The Governor looked at him strangely. "Really Merle?...I figured you might want a few more days alone together seeing that you're just now feeling better...you know...to more formally get reacquainted with your lost...love?"

Merle could almost feel all the color drain from his face...he had screwed up with his choice of words and seeming too eager to get away from Gwen. It wasn't what he meant but he hadn't even given it much thought when he spoke. The Governor almost never asked a question innocently and Merle knew that but he walked right into that without thinking. "Well...ya know how it is...they always want to talk or cuddle after and I ain't much inta that...giving me some time away will just make her want me more...and make her do less talkin' if ya get my drift..."

The Governor remained quiet and studied Merle's face. Merle had the best poker face of anybody but The Governor was putting it to the test. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Good...then that works out well for both of us then...I'd like to spend tomorrow with Gwen anyways...get a chance to know her better...go over a few things and see where she'd best fit in..." The Governor remarked. "Now come on...let's go get ready to eat."

Merle followed the Governor back to the dining hall. There was a table at the end of the hall set slightly away from the others and the Governor informed him he and Gwen would join him there. Merle followed the Governor as he stopped and stood at the head of the table. Also at the table was Beatrice, a tall thin man with glasses that he didn't recognize, Lincoln, Andrew, Darlene and three additional vacant seats. Merle could only assume for himself, Gwen and he guessed Nancy.

"What the hell is she doin' here?" Merle remarked as he gestured to Darlene who gave him a coy little wave.

"She supplied the alcohol...I thought it only fair." The Governor smiled at Darlene and waved back.

Merle grunted in disgust...he could only imagine how "interesting" the night would be.

Anxiously he awaited for Gwen to arrive...he wanted to get the evening over with as quickly as possible. Slowly everyone from the town wandered in a took their seats. Merle saw Nancy enter with another woman but didn't pay any mind to her at first until he did a double take and realized she was wearing a green dress. Merle's jaw dropped and he stood there next to the table, wide eyed with his mouth open.

"My goodness Gwen...I hardly recognized you..." The Governor remarked as he welcomed her to the table.

Gwen stepped up next to Merle and smiled as she brushed her hand down the side of her freshly cut hair. Her hair was cut just at her chin and parted off to the side, framing her face and well hiding the scar that ran down the one side. Nancy had even given her a little make up to wear. She couldn't help but blush slightly at the look on Merle's face.

"Catchin' flies Merle?" Gwen whispered as she giggled slightly to herself.

"Your hair...it...it don't look like shit..." Merle remarked. He closed his mouth and cleared his throat as his eyes searched around the table at everyone staring.

Gwen's smile quickly changed to a look of irritation and The Governor laughed.

"Well Merle has always had a way of talking to the ladies in town...Gwen you look radiant..." The Governor added.

"Thank you..." Gwen replied as she took a seat.

Merle sat down next to her and she casually leaned closer towards him and whispered out of the corner of her mouth at him. "Gee thanks Merle...could you be more of an ass?"

"Well...I...I just..." Merle started to remark back but the tinkering of glass distracted him as the Governor stood back up at the end of the table.

"PLEASE...IF I COULD HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION BEFORE WE BEGIN EATING...I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WELCOME TWO NEW PEOPLE TO WOODBURY...THEY WILL HOPEFULLY BE A PERMANENT FIXTURE AND ASSET TO THIS COMMUNITY...PLEASE WELCOME GWENDOLYN AND DOCTOR STEVENS. AS SOME OF YOU KNOW GWEN PREVIOUSLY KNEW MERLE AND WE SHOULD WELCOME HER TO OUR COMMUNITY. I LOOK FORWARD TO LEARNING ALL SHE IS CAPABLE OF AND THIS TOWN HAS BEEN IN NEED OF A DOCTOR FOR SOME TIME. ALTHOUGH OUR DEAR BEATRICE HAS DONE A WONDERFUL JOB, HAVING A DOCTOR WILL HELP GIVE HER A MUCH NEEDED BREAK. NOW I ASK THAT YOU ALL PLEASE RAISE YOUR GLASSES AND JOIN IN A TOAST WITH ME TO OUR NEWEST TOWNSFOLK." The Governor raised his glass and waited for everyone, including Gwen and Dr. Stevens, the thin man with glasses at the table, to join him.

Merle glanced over at Gwen and noticed a look of concern on her face but she quickly shook it off once she realized Merle was looking at her. She raised her glass and looked down the table at the doctor, who seemed to struggle at not shaking as he hesitantly rose his. Gwen turned back towards Merle and whispered to him.

"Where did he come from? I've never seen him before..." Gwen remarked.

"Don't know...me neither..." Merle whispered back.

Everyone toasted and slowly the room filled with chatter as people began to eat after the Governor sat back down. Merle's attention was quickly on his food as he ate but Gwen suddenly felt nauseous and didn't have much of an appetite. She looked around the table and noticed everyone smiling and chatting except for the doctor. He seemed nervous and on edge and shoveled his food in his mouth as if he hadn't eaten in days. Her eyes passed by Darlene who was attempting to stare a hole in her. Subtly, when she noticed Gwen was looking at her, she extended her middle finger towards her. Gwen rolled her eyes and diverted her attention back towards the Governor. The Governor caught her glance and smiled as he rose his glass to her again, still speaking with Lincoln, sitting next to him. Gwen forced a smiled and nodded her head to acknowledge his gesture but an uneasiness washed over her that she couldn't shake.

"You gonna eat that?" Merle asked as he pointed to Gwen's plate.

"I'm not really hungry...knock yourself out." Gwen replied. Merle switched his empty plate with hers and continued eating.

Afterwards as everyone was slowly exiting, the Governor walked over to Merle and Gwen just as they were about to leave. Gwen noticed Darlene hanging out by the door. She was still glaring at her. She was just about to ask Merle about her when the Governor got her attention.

"Merle...if I could steal Gwen away from you for a moment..." The Governor asked.

"Fine...I'll wait here..." He remarked.

"Please Gwen...come with me..." Gwen looked at Merle before following and he nodded his head. She walked down the hallway with him and they entered one of the smaller rooms.

.

"I thought you'd never get away from her..." Darlene remarked as she walked back up and sat beside Merle. Everyone else had already left the hall, leaving just the two of them.

"She's comin' right back...now ain't the time Darlene." Merle replied.

"Come have a drink with me at the bar...like ol' times." Darlene moved in close to Merle and ran her hand up his chest. "You know he ain't gonna be right back with her...you could come for one drink and be back and no one will no the difference."

Merle looked at her as she smiled devilishly towards him then he looked back across the room. "I told ya...she comin' right back...besides I ain't got nothin' to say to ya...it's over ya need to accept it and move on. Leave me be..."

"Ya don't mean that Merle and we both know it..." Darlene scooted her chair closer next to his. She rested her hand on his thigh and slowly ran her hand up to his groin. Merle closed his eyes and groaned as she slowly but firmly began stroking him through his pants. Darlene started to unzip his zipper when Merle grabbed her firmly by the wrist and stopped her. He took a deep breath, blowing it out hard and slowly opened his eyes. Merle shoved her hand away and stood up. He reached down and adjusted himself and walked over to the other side of the room near the doors.

"MERLE DIXON! I AIN'T BUYIN' THIS ACT YOUR SELLIN' AND I SURE AS HELL KNOW SHE DON'T MAKE YA FEEL LIKE I DO...I AIN'T GONNA LET IT REST 'TIL I FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT HER! YA HEAR ME?"

Merle stepped outside and took a deep breath. The cold air felt good against his skin. _I hear ya...ya stupid cow... _Merle couldn't help but be irritated with Darlene. He never made any promises to her...he never told her he loved her or even admitted he really liked her...they'd meet up a few times a week...have a few drinks, fuck and that was it. If Merle had known how much trouble she'd end up being he's not sure he would've bothered in the first place. He could've just stuck with his own jerk and tug with a lot less trouble.

.

Gwen crossed her arms and waited for the Governor to finish talking. He had gone over every rule and punishment with her, even beyond what Merle had done.

"I expect you to put these to memory, periodically you'll be asked to recite them and I expect you to be able to...do you need them in written form?" The Governor asked.

"Thanks but no...I don't think I will forget them." Gwen said sharply.

"You are a spitfire Gwen...I can certainly see your appeal to Merle...however...I'm not sure I can see his appeal to you..." The Governor remarked.

"I've never been one known to go along with the grain." Gwen replied quickly.

"True...very true...that certainly would make sense...but let me make something clear...if I discover that this has been some kind of ruse between the two of you I will be very dissatisfied...and that's the last thing you want me to me...I'd hate to see your standing in this town in question because of a ridiculous lie... or Merle's..." The Governor replied.

"Don't get me wrong Governor...I understand your doubts...believe me I have them myself with Merle...I'm not stupid I know how he is...however...I also know another side of Merle that I'm sure none of you have seen and probably never will...that's the person that I love...and if you don't understand that...that's your problem." Gwen said defensively. Nervously she awaited his response. She was afraid that saying the L-word took it too far and he wouldn't believe her.

The Governor rested his hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Good...I'm glad to hear that...now...tomorrow I'd like to spend the day with you so we can get better acquainted. Meet me in the lobby at 0900 hours.

The Governor walked Gwen back out into the main hall but Gwen didn't see Merle anywhere. Darlene was sitting at the table with her arms crossed and her head down on the table. Gwen walked outside as The Governor headed over to the table towards Darlene.

"Darlene...take it things didn't go as planned?" He asked.

Darlene looked up with her eyes red and puffy. "What the fuck does it look like?" She snapped. "I don't care what he says...they're lyin'...they're both lyin'..."

The Governor sighed deeply and put his hands on his hips "Well...I guess time will tell...in the meantime...keep at it...if they have been lying I doubt Merle will be able to resist you for much longer...from the way you used to go at it like rabbits...if he isn't getting it from her, he'll need to get it from somewhere..."

.

"Merle?...What are you doing out here? It's freezing...why aren't you wearin' your coat?" Gwen asked as she walked up behind him.

"Come on...let's go..." Merle was short and she could tell something was wrong with him. She remained silent until they got back to the room. Gwen hung her coat in the closet.

"You alright?" Gwen asked Merle as he sat on the bed and removed his boots.

Merle just grunted at Gwen. She waited for him to say something but he didn't as he began to unbutton his shirt. Gwen grabbed a t-shirt from the closet and went into the bathroom to change and wash her face. She came back out a few minutes later and found Merle in the same position, but now just sitting shirtless in his boxers. Gwen climbed onto the bed and sat behind him. She examined the wounds on his back that were steadily healing.

"Looks like you are healing quickly...you're lookin' pretty good there...you know you did look handsome tonight." Gwen told him. Merle again only grunted at her. "What's the matter with you Merle?"

Merle looked over his shoulder at her then back forward. "Just got stuff on my mind is all..."

"Can I ask you something?" Gwen asked.

Merle sighed in frustration. "What?"

"Did you notice how afraid that doctor seemed of the Governor and everyone? Why haven't we seen him before now? Where has he been all this time?"

"Thought you meant one question...fuck if I know but we ain't gonna figure it out tonight. Go to sleep...we both gotta get up early."

Merle got up and cut off the light. Gwen was lying on her right side when Merle crawled into bed and curled up behind her, slipping his arm around her waist.

"Um...Merle?...What are you doing?" Gwen asked.

Merle rubbed harder against her for a moment before settling against her curves and laid still. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "Just shut up and go to sleep..."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"So Gwen tell me….how did you and Merle first meet?" The Governor asked as they headed down the road in one of the SUVs from town. Andrew and a few other men that Gwen had only seen around town, along with the Governor were heading to the neighboring towns to scavenge for food and other supplies.

Gwen was reluctant to go into much detail with The Governor. She and Merle had talked that morning on how much to tell him if he asked to make sure they had the same story down. Merle was insistent she not mention the house. Gwen couldn't figure out why though since it was now worthless and overrun but Merle wouldn't budge. Only tell The Governor the basics.

"Do you always questioned people about their personal lives?" Gwen asked.

"Why all the secrecy, Gwen?" You and Merle both have been very reluctant to speak about one another. It's a simple question….most people are happy to talk about their loved ones." The Governor smiled at her.

"Well Merle's reluctant to speak about most things…." Gwen remarked.

"True….can't argue there….but please….this is not an attack, I'm just wanting to get to know you better." He insisted.

"We met after the outbreak…..after his hand….well….you know…..I helped nurse him back to health and we just connected….it wasn't what either of us had planned it just sort of happened. But then we got separated." Gwen told him.

"And how did that happen exactly?" He questioned.

"I'd rather not talk about it….you can "get to know me" all you want but being away from Merle was extremely difficult. I thought I'd never see him again and I'd rather not relive that time by discussing it….I'm sure you understand Governor…" Gwen wanted to make sure she stuck to the basics. She did as Merle wanted….no mention of the house.

The Governor smirked at her statement. He was seeing Gwen's stubborn streak and quickly realizing that she and Merle were more alike than most would realize. "I can understand that…..see….I'm an understanding man Gwen…..I want you to know you can trust me."

"So tell me something about you….seeing that we're sharing and all." Gwen remarked as she smirked back at him.

The Governor's expression changed to one of pain and sorrow which caught Gwen off guard. "There's not much to tell really…..my family and I survived together awhile after the outbreak but tragedy struck like it did many….they've all passed….I was alone when I started to rebuild this town….guess that's why I'm so passionate about protecting it and keeping it safe. I want to watch it grow and thrive like a family would…..like my family didn't get the chance to…."

As much as Gwen still didn't trust the Governor or agree with his totalitarian attitude, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him at that moment. She could see he was fighting the emotion back as he spoke briefly of his family. The outbreak changed everyone….made them into different people, either infected or not….they were all different….everyone was capable of doing things they never would've dreamed of before….including the Governor.

"I noticed your scar…." The Governor motioned to the side of her face. "How did that happen? I have to say I quite admire you for that…most women would be self conscious and try to hide it but you never seem to pay it much mind. It shows your strength."

Gwen touched the side of her face, she did often push the thought of it out of her mind. "I didn't do anything wrong….why should I be ashamed of it?"

"Of course not…..I didn't mean to imply that you should be…" The Governor told her.

"Someone I trusted…..left me for walker food so he could save himself." Gwen remarked. It wasn't a story she cared to give much detail on but like she had said, she wasn't ashamed of it and refused to feel sorry for herself about it. The scar was there….it would always be a reminder but she wouldn't be it's victim.

"Was it someone you cared for?" The Governor asked.

"Does it really even matter? It is what it is….it's done…I don't dwell on it." Gwen told him.

"Where is he now?" The Governor asked.

"Don't know and don't care….." Gwen looked out the window at the scenery as they drove. She was tired of talking.

"Curious…I know Merle feels as if he's been wronged….his hand and rightly so I'm sure…..I certainly wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that equation if he were to find those who he feels are responsible…..but I'm curious as to your feelings on the matter….what would you do if you ran into this man again….what would you want to do?"

Gwen glared back at The Governor….at first she didn't speak but just stared at him. Finally she looked down and back out the window. "I think we've done enough talkin' for now…."

.

Lincoln relieved Merle from gate watch so he could break for lunch. Merle holstered his .45 and started to walk past the bar when Darlene cut him off.

"I'll give you something to eat for lunch Merle…." Darlene smiled as she brushed up close to him.

Merle gently shoved her aside and started on his way again. "Give it a rest Darlene..."

"The Governor has somethin' planned for your girl..." She shouted at him.

Merle stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly he turned around and glared at her. "You're lyin'"

"Am I? Why do you think he wanted her out with him on a scavenge today? Just to play getting to know you? Please Merle...you ain't that stupid..." She remarked as she leaned against the door to the bar.

Merle rushed back over to her and grabbed her by the throat. "You best not be fuckin' lyin' to me..."

"You know I like it rough Merle but not out here...come inside and I'll tell you everything..." Darlene smiled as she licked her lips.

Merle looked both ways up and down the street but not many people were out walking around. "Fine..." He remarked and he followed her inside.

"Sit down..." Darlene motioned to one of the lounge chairs at the front of the bar.

"Tell me what you know..." Merle demanded.

Darlene looked sternly at Merle and rested her hands on her hips. "This ain't gonna be a somethin' for nothin' Merle...you need to play nice."

Hesitantly Merle sat down, resting his arms on the arms of the chair. "Well...what do you want?"

Darlene straddled herself across his lap. "You know what I want Merle..." She whispered as she leaned in close and began kissing down his neck.

Merle pushed her gently off his lap and she slinked down onto the floor, kneeling between his legs.

"I ain't fuckin' ya...tell me what you know or I'm leavin'." He said.

Darlene smiled up at him as she leaned forward and began to undo his belt and pants. "Ya ain't gotta fuck me Merle...just let me make you feel good...come on...you know you want to...quit fightin' it." With that she slipped her hand into his pants, cupping his buldge into her hand, quickly causing it to swell. Merle groaned trying unsuccesfully with every last ounce he had to stop his body from reacting to her touch. She slipped him out of his pants and stroked the length of his shaft with a firm steady grip as his resistance dissolved away. She teased him with the flickering of her tongue across his tip and he knew his efforts were futile. He reached for her, entertwining his fingers in her hair against the back of her head and pulled her towards him as she took him fully into her mouth...

.

Gwen and Andrew were running full speed down the alley, trying to make their way back to the main road towards the SUV where the others were waiting. As they approached the end, three more walkers rounded the corner. They were surrounded.

"I ain't got much ammo left..." Andrew said frantically.

Gwen gripped her knife tightly wishing the Governor had trusted her with a gun. She didn't want them close enough for hand to hand but with the way things were looking she didn't think they would have much of a choice.

"Up...go up..." Andrew shouted at her as he pushed her over towards the fire escape. Gwen shoved the knife back in the shealth attached to her belt and rushed to climb us as Andrew followed behind her. The walkers swarmed beneath them, one grabbing ahold of Andrew's ankle. He cried out as it bit down onto his ankle. Kicking it off with his other foot, he struggled to hold on to the ladder.

"Fuckin' shit..." Andrew yelled as he fought to pull himself further up the ladder.

Gwen's heart was racing, the adrenaline surging through her body. Finally she reached the rooftop and turned around to help Andrew the rest of the way up and watched as the walkers struggled between each other as to which one would climb the ladder. Their only saving grace was how stupid the walkers were...each driven by it's primitive desire to feed but none of them smart enough to figure they needed to climb one at a time to chase after them. Gwen pulled Andrew onto the roof where he collapsed and clutched his ankle.

"Fuckin' thing bit me..." Andrew yelled as he cringed in pain.

Gwen grabbed the walkie talkie off his belt. Out of breath she struggled to speak into it. "WE NEED HELP...WE'RE TRAPPED ON TOP OF THE OLD BANK...WALKERS ARE ALL ON THE SOUTH SIDE" Gwen couldn't help but shout. She didn't think she could whisper at that point even if her life depended on it.

The Governor's voice came across the radio. "Can you jump to the next building over?"

Gwen grabbed Andrew by the arm and struggled to help him up. "COME ON..."

They both struggled over to the north side of the building but the gap with the alley below was too wide for them to jump especially with Gwen's leg beginning to throb and Andrew's bit ankle, there was no way either one of them could make the jump.

"IT'S TOO FAR...WE WON'T MAKE IT." Gwen replied on the walkie.

"We can't risk getting trapped in the alley...is it clear for you to make it back down to the ground? We can get to the entrance and hold back the walkers but you'll have to move fast...our time will be limited before we're over run..." The Governor replied.

"IT'S CLEAR FOR NOW..." Gwen replied.

"Go now!' The Governor ordered.

Gwen struggled to get Andrew over the edge and on the fire escape ladder. Andrew shook and almost fell a couple of times on the way down as Gwen followed after him. As he got to alley, he collapsed on the ground and Gwen dropped down next to him, falling herself as her injured leg gave out from underneath her.

The SUV screeched to a hault at the end of the alley. The Governor stepped out of the front passenger side and began firing his gun at the walkers heading their way. The man from the rear driver's side stepped out, leaving the door wide open and began firing.

"COME ON, LET'S GO NOW!" The Governor shouted at her as she struggled to her feet. She grabbed Andrew under his arm and helped him up as he cried out again in pain. Tucking herself under his arm they both struggled and limped as quickly as they could to the vehicle. Once they were at the door the Governor shouted at them again.

"GET IN NOW OR WE'RE LEAVING YOU HERE!" He ordered as he climbed back into the front passenger seat.

Andrew struggled to pull himself across the seat as Gwen slid in next to him, followed by the other man who slammed the door shut.

"LET'S GO!" The Governor ordered to the driver as they sped off.

Both Andrew and Gwen were exhausted and out of breath as they struggled to breathe deeply.

The Governor turned around in his seat to look at them. "Did you get anything?"

"Just what's in my backpack...few weapons and cans of food." Gwen replied breathy as she slipped it off her shoulders and tossed it in the cargo area behind her then leaned against the back of the seat.

"And Andrew? What happened to yours?" The Governor demanded.

"Sorry Gov...I dropped it a ways back...I tried to put it on my shoulder as we were running when the walkers started chasin' us and I dropped it...wasn't enough time to go back." He replied.

"So why is it Gwen was able to get hers on and you weren't?" The Governor asked sternly.

Andrew paused for a moment and looked even more deflated than he already did. "Cause she already had her's on before we saw 'em."

"Guess you learned a valuable lesson today then...from a newbie no less..." The Governor said with the sound of disappointment in his voice.

He turned back around and faced the front as they drove out of town. All were quiet for a few minutes but Gwen's heart felt as if it were going to pound through her chest

Still remaining forward, the Governor spoke again. "You both were limping...what happened? Are you injured?"

"Just my leg...aggravated my injury from before with all the running...guess it was just too soon." Gwen remarked.

Andrew remained silent. Gwen looked over at him and waited for him to speak up.

"Andrew?" The Governor asked.

"Just twisted my ankle is all..." Andrew told him as he glared back at Gwen.

The Governor turned back around in his seat and looked at both of them, then his eyes were fixed on Gwen. "Well?...Is that all it is Gwen?"

Gwen hesitantly broke her stare with Andrew and looked at the Governor. She knew there was no point in trying to cover for Andrew because she knew there was no hope for him. "No..." She turned her attention back to Andrew. "I'm sorry Andrew...he's been bit."

The Governor whipped back around and slammed his fist into the dashboard and cursed loudly.

"You fuckin' bitch...I wouldn't have gotten bit if it wasn't for you...I let you up the ladder first...it's your fault, least you could do was have my back but you're nothin' but a fuckin' cunt!" Andrew yelled at her then swung his fist striking her across the cheek.

"STOP THE VEHICLE!" The Governor shouted and the driver slammed on the brakes. The Governor jumped out of the passenger side and looked up and down the road to make sure it was clear of walkers and jerked Andrew's passenger door open and dragged him out hard onto the ground. His fists still flailing about.

The man in the rear seat with Gwen shoved her out towards the passenger side and she couldn't get her feet underneath her in time to keep from falling. As soon as she hit the ground she felt someone's hand on the back of her head and they jerked her up by her hair and held on tight. They pulled her face towards theirs and Gwen found herself staring at The Governor.

"What's the rule Gwen...I shouldn't have to address this with you so soon...WHAT'S THE RULE?" The Governor shouted at her.

Gwen's mind was racing, she couldn't think fast enough. "I...I..."

"WHAT IS IT? DON'T MAKE ME ASK YOU A THIRD TIME." The Governor angrily spit as he yelled at her.

"IF YOU'RE BIT...YOU DON'T COME BACK..."She shouted back at him, her hands around his wrist, her head sore from his tight grip.

The Governor shoved her roughly to the ground. Gwen heard the clicking of a gun from the sound of a cartridge being racked into the chamber. Hesitantly she looked up and The Governor had his arm extended with his gun pointed at her.

"Stand up..." He said calmly.

Gwen struggled to her feet barely able to put much weight onto her injured leg but still managed. She could feel her body begin to uncontrollably shake from the combination of adrenaline, fear and pain.

"Give me your hand..." He stated as his eyes stared coldly at her.

Hesitantly Gwen extended her hand and felt the cold metal of the gun against her palm.

"And what do you do with those who are bit?" The Governor asked.

Gwen gripped the gun in her hand, taking it from The Governor. "The bit get a bullet in the brain." She said softly.

Gwen looked at Andrew, stunned at the situation she now found herself in. Andrew began to beg and plead for his life, weeping as he told her he was sorry for hitting her. Tears welled up in Gwen's eyes but she fought them back.

The Governor stepped closer to her as she stared at Andrew and whispered to her. "He's been bit...he **WILL** turn...there is no saving him...there is no choice...you do what you must and put him out of his misery...there...is...no...saving...him."

Gwen pointed the gun at Andrew as her hands shook. She took a few deep breaths to try and steady herself. She hobbled closer to him, she couldn't afford to miss.

"Close your eyes Andrew..." Gwen told him as a few tears began to spill down her cheeks.

Andrew reluctantly closed his eyes as he continued to say over and over. "Please...no...please...just help me..."

Gwen took a final deep breath. As much as she wished things were different, she knew the Governor was right...there was no saving him..."I'm so sorry Andrew...I'm so sorry..." Gwen gently squeezed the trigger.

The shot range out and seemed louder than any other gunshot she had ever heard. She closed her eyes as she dropped the gun to her side and started to cry. The Governor grabbed the weapon from her hand.

"Get ahold of yourself..." The Governor ordered coldly.

Gwen wiped the tears from her face, her cheek sore and swollen along with her jaw from the punches Andrew previously landed.

Gwen heard the gun click again and watched in horror as the Governor pointed the gun at her.

"Now...it concerns me you broke a rule so quickly Gwen...I had high hopes for you..." The Governor told her.

"But...there wasn't any time to even think...we were just tryin' to get out." Gwen pleaded.

"I also hate excuses Gwen...rules are rules...and all rules have punishments." The Governor told her.

Gwen frantically tried racking her brain as to what her punishment was but couldn't think fast enough...

"Now...take off your clothes...including your boots." The Governor ordered as the other men snickered.

Gwen's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She definately didn't remember _that _being one of the punishments.

"DO IT UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR OWN BULLET!" The Governor yelled at her.

Reluctantly Gwen removed all of her clothes until she was standing before him only her underwear. She stood there and waited for him to speak with her arms crossed over her chest, shivering from the cold and the stress of it all.

"Turn around..." Gwen did so as the Governor ordered and he ordered her back to facing him.

"Now that I know without a doubt that your limping is from your previous injury then I will allow you back to town...however...you did break a rule. You aren't to bring back a person that's been bit. I will, however, show you some lienancy considering the circumstances...you didn't make it back to town and you were honest when asked. That shows me your rule breaking wasn't intentional and like I've said before...I'm not an unreasonable man. You may get dressed and we will drive back to town...you however, will be walking the rest of the way back...I hope for your sake you make it back before dark..."

With that The Governor dropped the magazine out of his handgun and ejected the cartridge that was in the chamber. He pulled a fully loaded magazine out of his pocket and dropped the unloaded weapon and magazine on top of her clothing. He turned and motioned for the men to get back into the SUV and left Gwen on the side of the road, almost naked standing next to Andrew's lifeless body.

Gwen dropped to her knees and uncontrollable wept as she slowly got dressed...


	27. Chapter 27

**Thanks for all the great feedback. I've had some PM conversations with some of you readers about questions and concerns you have about the story and I hope this chapter helps to clarify some of them. One thing about writing that I know is difficult is that I know my characters/story better than anyone and what I know is the logic and reasoning of the characters is already in my head but if I don't relay that in my writing to you...the reader, then you may not get where I'm going. So on that note, please keep giving me your feedback so I can make sure what's in my head is presented in a clear way to someone on the outside. And I must add that one of my very favorite review so far was from "Day of the Dead Tattoo Girl"...I laughed until I cried reading her review of "Merle getting a suckie..." and the reference to Darlene being similar to Darylina! HA! I'm so sorry folks, I didn't even make that connection when I wrote it...besides feeling a little stupid for it, I had a good laugh so bare with the name Darlene...too late for me to change it now. Thanks again for everyone's input, it's very helpful! Please Review! **

Chapter 27

Gwen sat by the road after she had gotten dressed. Slowly she picked up the gun and slid the magazine in place. Her hands shook as she struggled to pull back the slide of the weapon, getting it ready to fire. She glanced over to Andrew's lifeless body and although she knew there was no other choice she couldn't help but still feel a terrible sense of guilt. Maybe he was right, maybe it was her fault. If he had gone first that might be her laying there instead.

Her ankle felt as if it were on fire. She had done too much too soon on it...of course she hadn't expected to run into a town full of walkers. In hind sight she felt stupid for thinking she wouldn't. She guessed the past days of living in Woodbury had given her a false sense of security from the walkers.

The temperature was beginning to drop and she knew if she didn't start moving that nightfall would sneak up on her before she knew it. She figured she had three options...return to Woodbury...don't return to Woodbury and find her own way...or off herself here and now...

.

.

The Governor radioed Merle to open the gate. _Finally..._Merle thought to himself. They had been gone longer than he had expected. He didn't like the idea of Gwen being out there with anyone but him but he also knew in order to survive they both had to have a place in Woodbury. Merle had seen both sides...the constant, unrelenting struggle to survive day by day or the fortress of Woodbury...food...shelter...a compound of sorts, full of annoying rules and formalities but rules that Merle never paid much mind to. He was never one to follow the rules much but these in Woodbury were simple and straight forward. _Don't bring injured strangers back to town...Don't bring the bitten back to town and put them out of their misery...Earn your keep, pull your own weight..._the list went on and on but they were all rules that Merle didn't seem to think would ever pertain to him...Why would he bring a stranger back to town?...Who wouldn't put people bit out of their misery?...You could call a Dixon many things but lazy wasn't one of them...He had no problem earning his keep. Woodbury helped him stay well nourished and strong and that's exactly what he needed to be to so he could be ready...to inflict his own revenge when the opportunity arose. But having Gwen there changed all that. Things were no longer as simple as they were when he first came to Woodbury.

Merle watched as the Governor's SUV drove through the gate and headed down the roadway. He wondered what the Governor would want Gwen to do next. As Merle's eyes followed the vehicle, he noticed Darlene standing outside the bar in the distant. She playfully waved at him but Merle quickly turned away and shut the gate. _Darlene...you're gettin' yourself inta a mess ya can't get out of ole Merle._ _You're a stupid fuck ya know that...messin' with her at all is gonna cause nothin' but trouble. Governor's already got his doubts...what if Darlene goes runnin' to him to try to get rid of Gwen?...You're a stupid fuck Merle..._Merle thought to himself. "Fuck...what have I done?" Merle shook his head in disbelief over his own stupidity. It was a moment of weakness he wished he could go back and undo. The Governor hadn't told Darlene shit about any sort of "plan" for Gwen...she had just used it as an excuse to be alone with him...made it up. But one thing was for sure, he and Gwen would both be in jeopardy if the Governor believed they had been lying to him all this time. _You stupid...stupid fuck!_

Lincoln approached the guard post and motioned for Merle to step down. Merle did so and walked up to him. He looked serious and long faced.

"What's the matter with you?" Merle asked.

"Governor wants to talk to ya..." Lincoln remarked as he walked past up and climbed up to the post.

_Shit..._Merle couldn't help but wonder if Darlene had gone straight for the Governor as soon as he had pulled up.

"Time to pay the piper I guess..." Merle mumbled to himself as he headed towards the Governor's office.

Once he arrived, the Governor motioned for him to sit down.

"What's this all about?" Merle asked as he sat down He looked and saw the two other men that had left that morning standing on either side of the room. Gwen wasn't there and he hadn't passed her along the way. "Where's Gwen?"

"There was an unfortunate turn of events...Andrew and Gwen got trapped..."

Merle's head began to swim as he listened to the Governor explain how she and Andrew became trapped in the town by walkers.

"Is she dead?" Merle could barely spit out the words. The thought of him getting sucked off by Darlene during the time that she was struggling for her life made him feel sick.

"No Merle...she's still alive...but Andrew was bit...I didn't realize until we were outside of town...Gwen came clean about it but you know what the rules are...we left her just north of town. She should make it back before nightfall if she doesn't waste any time." The Governor told him.

"Wait...you did what?" Merle could feel his blood begin to boil. "You just left her there? With someone who's now infected? What the hell?" Merle couldn't make sense of what he was hearing.

"Don't be silly...of course not...I had her put Andrew down...left her with a handgun...she knows the rule of not bringing the bit back to town...she should've left Andrew behind instead of helping him back to the vehicle...but considering the franticness of the situation, I was willing to overlook that fact since when I asked about injuries she informed me of Andrew's bite. But you know I couldn't just let it slide either...hence her punishment of having to walk back to town."

"You left her there?...You just...YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Merle became enraged and charged the Governor but the other men intercepted him before he could reach him.

Both men struggled to try to contain Merle but he kept fighting. The Governor called for more men, soon which entered until it took for five men total to restrain Merle. The Governor watched as Merle fought all the men with all his might...raw emotion just spewing from him unlike he had ever seen from Merle before. The Governor couldn't help but find it intriguing.

Out of breath but still cursing, Merle was forced to the floor.

"Now Merle...I understand your anger but she is no exception when it comes to rules..." The Governor's tone in his voice was calm and collected. "Think of it in terms more as a code to live by...not rules...just like the code you live by Merle...the one that drives you to take revenge on the ones that hurt you and left you for dead?... Are you listening to what I'm saying?... You are going to do what you think is right and just, correct? Well that's all I'm doing here in this town..."

.

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She had the weapon, it was fully loaded and she could put herself out of this miserable excuse for a life. Gwen stared at the gun for a moment. She didn't really want to off herself. As much as she hated this world there was a part of her, no matter how small the part was at that very moment, hoped for something better. That one day things would go back to normal or a new normal could be created without the fear and worry of walkers. Even if she wanted to, she didn't think she could ever bring herself to go through with it. She could get away from there and go as far as she could, never return to Woodbury and hope to find a safe place. She did have a safe place in the house in the beginning but look where that led her. She almost froze and starved herself to death. As much as she hated to admit it, she struggled when she was completely alone. She didn't have all the skills she needed to survive on her own. She may have done better than some but relying solely on herself just wasn't enough. She could try to find a group to connect with but how would she know if there would be people she could really even trust. Was there even anyone she could trust...Merle...he was difficult and hard headed but she didn't have a doubt that she could trust him. Woodbury was protected...there was food, medicine...Woodbury wasn't the picturesque place it attempted to mask itself in being...but so far, it was better than any alternative. As much as a part of her didn't want to return, she didn't see herself as having much of a choice.

Slowly she rose to her feet and headed back towards town. Even after barely walking a mile she thought there was no way she would be able to make the whole journey but she kept pushing herself. Her limp had now turned into a full fledged hobble, barely able to put any weight on her injured leg. The temperature was beginning to drop as the day passed. Her cheek and jaw feeling even more sore from the cold breeze that hit her in the face.

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"GET OFF ME YOU STUPID FUCKS! I'LL GO GET HER MYSELF!" Merle barked.

"Now Merle...I'm trying to help you think smarter...wasn't it your emotions that got you into this mess in the first place?" The Governor asked as he tapped on Merle's stump guard. "Just think about it...Gwen has to...like everyone else in the town...yourself included...has to show what she's made of...you recall when you did the same...correct?" The Governor asked.

Merle quit yelling and tried catching his breath. As much as he didn't want to listen to another word the Governor said he couldn't help but do so with five men pinning him to the floor.

"This is her chance to show me what she's made of once and for all...if...no... when...**when**...she makes it back...then there will be no doubt in my mind Merle...you need to see this as a good thing..." The Governor told him.

Merle struggled to swallow and thought for a moment. Still breathing hard, Merle cut his eyes up at the Governor. "You'll have no doubt?...You'll leave her be?"

"Yes Merle...I give you my word...she'll be a member of this town and as long as she does her part and doesn't cause trouble she'll be a valuable part of this community...just like you are..." The Governor instructed. "And think Merle...you and Gwen...you'll get to have a life here like you always wanted...you'll work together to help protect what we've created here...she'll be safe...and that's all you've ever wanted for her, isn't it?"

Merle's emotions were getting the better of him. He knew the Governor was manipulative and was afraid he was only telling him what he thought he wanted to hear. But even still he couldn't help but think for a moment about his dream with her and Daryl in the kitchen back at the house. Could they really live in Woodbury together? Would she want to after all of this? Would she ever truly want him? He hated admitting having any sort of feelings for her but at that moment she was all he could think about...being cold and alone out there after God knows what all happened in that town...and with Andrew...he hated she was alone. All the questions Merle had in his head were quickly interrupted by Darlene's voice.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Darlene shouted.

The Governor stood up from the kneeling position on the floor next to Merle.

"I don't recall inviting you in here..." The Governor glared at her as she stood in the doorway. " Keep him down for now..." The Governor instructed the men as he walked outside, pushing Darlene in front of him.

Outside on the steps, The Governor turned towards her and spoke angrily. "How dare you come in without my permission...this matter isn't of any concern to you..."

"IT IS MY CONCERN...YOU SAID YOU'D GET RID OF HER IF YOU FOUND OUT THEY WAS LYIN'! WELL I GOT PROOF BUT HERE YOU ARE PROMISIN' THE WORLD TO THEM...WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO I GET FOR ALL MY TROUBLE? SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE GONE!" Darlene cried frantically.

"First of all Darlene...I never said to you I'd get rid of her if I found out they were lying...my exact words were things would be handled. It's not my fault if you only heard what you wanted to hear but regardless...I will do whatever I please and nothing you say or do will change that...now what proof is this that you claim to have...were you successful in seducing Merle?" The Governor asked.

"I was...he was like putty in my hands...I told you all it took was for me to get him alone and he wouldn't be able to resist none." Darlene boasted as she began to calm down.

"Tell me exactly what happened." The Governor instructed.

Darlene went into graphic detail with the Governor, almost as if the more graphic she was, the more impressed the Governor would be but he expressed no emotion as she spoke.

"Is that it?" The Governor asked.

"Yes...well...uh...isn't that what you wanted?" Darlene asked confused by his response.

"Honestly Darlene there isn't much of anything I'd want from you but if your big seduction of Merle only ended with a blow job then I can't say I'm very impressed...every man is a sucker for a blow job...no pun intended." The Governor turned away from her and started to head back inside.

"Wait...what do you mean? What does this mean? You gonna let her stay? But what about me and Merle?" Darlene asked .

The Governor faced her again to address her. "Give it a rest Darlene...things are unfolding as we speak that I think may bring clarity to my concerns... I'd rather wait things out for the time being...go back to your bar...your customers will be coming at twilight...you need to be ready for them."

The Governor walked back inside leaving Darlene looking deflated by the street. Slowly she walked herself back to her bar.

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The Governor squatted down next to Merle. Merle was still struggling but it was evident that exhaustion was starting to win.

"Now Merle...I want to have these men let you up...are you ready and willing to control yourself? Can I trust you not to beat the living daylights out of all of us?"

Merle glared up at the Governor. He did want to beat the shit out of every last one of them but what he wanted more at that moment was to go find Gwen...make sure she was alright and bring her back safe. Merle had already had one huge fuck up that day as far as Gwen was concerned and that was with Darlene...he didn't want to have two. He swallowed his pride in that moment and uttered**...**_**yes.**_


	28. Chapter 28

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

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Chapter 28

"I'm goin' to get her..." Merle barked at the Governor.

"Merle...she needs to do this on her own... Besides...who knows, you don't even know for sure she'll even choose to come back...no sense in forcing it...let her make her own choice." The Governor remarked.

Merle stopped in his tracks as he headed for the door. His back was towards the Governor. It hadn't occurred to him she wouldn't be on her way back. What if she didn't return...The Governor wasn't one to let people leave so easily but Merle figured the Governor guessed that if she didn't come back it was out of too much fear and that she wouldn't dare speak of Woodbury again to anyone...but what if she did choose not to come back.

Walking towards the gate the realization that Gwen might choose to not return weighed heavy on his mind. _Things would go back the way they were before...things would be simple again...no more worrin' or havin' to protect no one but myself...it would be better...wouldn't it? _Part of the reason why Merle so readily left Gwen before was because he knew he was leaving her safe. Now, all he knew was that she was out there alone...the later it got with no sign of her, the more worried he became.

"Anything?" Merle asked Lincoln as he approached the gate.

"Nothin'...not even a sound..." Lincoln replied.

Merle climbed up to the watch post and stared out into the woods as it began to get dark. He zipped up his coat to guard from the cold but it was just another reminder that Gwen was out there cold and alone. He knew, from the Governor's description of the day's events that her leg must be aching something awful. _What she got to come back for? For you?... Ya think she's gonna want to come back because of ya? Look at ya...the minute she was gone ya got your dick in that bitch's mouth...you don't really give a shit 'bout her...if ya did ya wouldn't have risked that...redneck trash is all ya are...ya don't deserve her to come back. _Merle thought to himself as he watched what little light was left leave the sky and the woods turn dark.

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Gwen staggered her way along side of the road. She wondered of Merle's reaction once the Governor returned without her. A feeling of dread washed over her as the world around her darkened. She started to second guess herself and wonder if maybe somehow she had gotten turned around and was heading in the wrong direction. Woodbury seemed to be further and further away no matter how long she walked. A numbing pain filled her whole leg, no longer contained to just the ankle, but she was afraid if she stopped moving or rested for a moment that she wouldn't be able to get up and start again. No matter what...she had to keep moving.

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The snapping of a twig to her right caused her to jump. Gwen stopped and did her best to hold still as she struggled to keep her balance. Her heart began to race as she tried to focus her eyes into the woods next to her. More twigs snapping, the rustling of leaves caused Gwen's heart to race...something was heading her way and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make out anything.

Suddenly the pain in Gwen's leg seemed even more unbearable as she tried to back away from the edge of the road to put more distance between herself and whatever else was coming her way. She pulled the gun out of her waistband and pointed it towards the woods. _If it's a walker and you shoot...how many more walkers will that bring?...you can't outrun 'em...hell...you can barely walk._ Gwen stood there trying to steady her hands from shaking. Her arms started to ache but soon the sounds disappeared and the only thing she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat. She started to head down the road again...this time staying in the center. _Maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me...I need to get back...I can't do this much longer..._Gwen took a deep breath and tried to focus on anything but the pain and how exhausted she was. Tears began to roll down her cheeks from the overwhelming pain and frustration.

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Merle kept his eyes focused on the woods. There was a gap between the wood line and the gate, just a small clearing and Merle kept his eyes on the edge, just waiting.

The Governor walked up with the two other men from before.

"Maybe she's not coming back Merle...I must admit, I'm a little disappointed...I really thought she'd make it." He remarked.

Merle didn't bother even looking at the Governor. He just stared out towards the woods.

"Merle...you have watch first thing...give it a rest for the night..." The Governor ordered.

Suddenly Merle jumped down from the watch post. "OPEN THE GATE" Merle shouted.

The men looked at the Governor and he just nodded his head. The gate was barely cracked open when Merle rushed out.

"What if it ain't her and it's a walker?" Lincoln asked.

"Take aim...get ready..." The Governor ordered. Lincoln followed the orders.

Merle ran towards the figure staggering down the road...it barely made any ground as it struggled on one foot, unable to put any weight on the other. _It has to be her..._Merle thought to himself as he got closer.

"GWEN!..." Merle shouted.

The figure stopped moving.

"GWEN!..." Merle shouted again.

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Gwen just focused on the ground in front of her feet. It was the only way she could keep herself moving. She could've sworn she heard someone call her name and she paused for a moment to listen for it again. _Am I hearing things again?..._Gwen couldn't help but think here her mind was playing tricks again but then she heard it a second time...

Gwen knew the voice as she looked ahead of her. "Merle?..." Was she only imaging it? She tried to step forward but both legs gave out from underneath her as she fell to the ground, dropping the gun along side her. She barely managed to catch herself with her hands and struggled unsuccessfully to stand back up. She started to cry harder, unable to get her body to move.

She felt a hand against her arm. Reaching forward she grabbed hold of the person in front of her by the shirt.

Merle dropped to his knees in front of Gwen. She clung desperately to his shirt as he slipped his right arm around her waist. "Gwennie...I got you...come on...ain't much further..."

Gwen looked up at Merle but was unable to utter a word. She felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders as she stared at his face, a wave of relief in knowing that she was finally there.

Merle cupped her face in his hand and brushed away the tears with his thumb. "Gwennie...you alright...I got you...I got you now..."

Gwen just stared at him and stopped crying for a moment. Merle stared into her eyes looking for some sense of understanding from her. He had never seen her look so frail before. Merle pulled her closer against him and pressed his mouth against hers. She kissed him back with what little ounce of strength she had left as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He was gentler with her this time than he was when he kissed her before, a tenderness she would've never expected from him or thought he was capable of. Her emotions got the better of her and she pulled away from him slightly and started to cry again. She leaned into him, burying her face against his neck.

Merle wrapped his left arm around her back and pulled her up enough to slip his right arm behind her legs and scoop her up in his arms. When he turned to head back towards the gate he saw the Governor standing next to them. The Governor bent over and picked up the gun dropped by Gwen.

"Touching...really Merle...I'm honestly surprised you even have it in you..." He remarked. "Why don't you take her on to Dr. Stevens...he can make sure she's alright."

Merle adjusted his grip on Gwen, making sure he had a good hold on her. She kept her face buried into his neck and held on tightly.

"Takin' her back to the hotel...I'll take care of her myself." Merle glared at the Governor.

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The Governor watched Merle carry Gwen towards the hotel as the men closed the gate behind him. One thing he knew for sure was that Merle was a different man with her. Regardless of what his suspicions were, there was certainly no question about this other side of him. Merle cared deeply for her and she him.

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Nancy knocked on the door to their room. Merle got up from the edge of the bed next to where Gwen was lying and answered the door. He opened it and noticed she was carrying a few pillows.

"Thought maybe she'd need to elevate her ankle...might help reduce the swelling...also brought some ibuprofen...I can bring her up some hot tea."

Merle took the pillows from Nancy and grunted at her as she stepped into the room. Gwen was asleep on her side. Nancy noticed the pile of dirty clothes on the floor where Merle had left them after he managed to clean up Gwen.

"I can take these and wash them up." Nancy remarked as Merle gently lifted her injured leg and tucked the pillow underneath.

"You really do care for her don't you?" Nancy asked. "Never thought I'd see such a gentle, softer..." but before Nancy could finish her sentence Merle stepped towards her and grabbed her roughly by the arm.

Nancy, shocked, cringed from the pain of his grip.

"DON'T...You shut the fuck up and don't you dare say it...get out...get out and mind yer own..." Merle shoved her towards the door.

Nancy stared at Merle a moment then looked back at Gwen before she left.

Merle went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He leaned against the sink as the water dripped from his face. _Just cause I don't want her hurtin' don't mean I'm soft...Just cause I..." _Merle couldn't bring himself to even say _it_ to himself. _"I ain't soft...I just ain't..."_

Merle stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He scooted up behind her, slipping his arm around her waist. Every now and then she twitch or tremble. Merle squeezed her gently tighter when she did until her body calmed. The guilt from the day began to fully wash over Merle as he listened to her slowly breathing.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Gwen slept for two days...waking up just long enough to take medicine, eat then go to the bathroom. Merle went about his daily duties but often stopped by on his breaks to check on her.

Gwen opened her eyes and struggled to sit up. The warm glow of the last rays of sunlight filled the hotel room. She pulled back the blanket to look at her ankle. It was still swollen and discolored but the pain had settled to a constant dull ache. She swung both legs over the side of the bed and slowly stepped onto the floor. Putting weight onto her foot sent a sharp pain through her leg but she took a deep breath and breathed through it. _You can't stay in bed forever...time to get back on your feet._ Gwen slowly staggered her way to the bathroom.

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Merle entered the room and was surprised to see the bed empty. He heard the shower running as he sat next to the window and took his boots off. He sat there for a moment as he listened to the water shut off, soon followed by the bathroom door opening and Gwen stepping out in only a towel. She flinched when she saw Merle sitting next to the window just staring at her.

"I didn't know you were back..." She remarked as she made her way back to the bed and sat on the edge. She had laid her clothes out on the dresser but her ankle wouldn't let her make her way all the way over to retrieve them. "Do you mind?" Gwen asked as she pointed to the clothing.

Merle slowly got up and walked over to the dresser and picked up the small pile of clothes. He walked over to the bed and handed them to her as he sat next to her on the bed.

"Ya up on yer own...that's good...yer gettin' better." Merle remarked.

"Yeah...well...I feel like I could probably sleep for an entire week if ya let me." Gwen remarked as she smiled slightly at Merle.

"I wanted to come for ya...kinda hard to do though with five men sittin' on me...Gov wouldn't have it none..." Merle told her.

"I know you would have...you did get me the rest of the way in...Even though I was close I don't think I would've made it another step." Gwen remarked.

"Ya remember that?" Merle asked.

What Gwen remembered the most was how he kissed her. His first kiss had no doubt been arousing and passionate but the second kiss was different, it wasn't for show like the other had been and she knew it. It was genuine and intense. It made her see him fully in a new light. Gwen smiled as she lowered her head and blushed a little as she touched her own cheek in attempt to hide it.

He got up and started to walk back to the window seat but Gwen grabbed hold of his hand to stop him. She looked up at Merle but didn't speak. Her black and blue marks on her face from her ordeal with Andrew were beginning to heal and slightly fade. She pulled Merle closer and started to unbutton his shirt. Merle's breathing became heavier as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders. He was never one to be nervous around women but he felt a tightness in his chest that he wasn't accustomed to as he breathed more deeply. Merle gently grabbed her wrist to stop her as she undid his pants.

"What are ya doin'? Yer sure ya feelin' alright?" Merle asked, surprised by her boldness.

Gwen cut her eyes up towards him and gave him a sly smile as she pulled away from his grip and pushed his pants down his hips. "Let's not do any talkin' Merle."

Gwen raised her knee and with her good foot pushed herself back further onto the bed allowing room for Merle to climb on top of her, settling between her legs. Quickly, Merle dove into her neck with his mouth and tongue as he worked his way down towards her collar bone. Feeling his mouth running along her body sent a shiver through her. It had been so long since she had been with anyone. The thought of Merle, as he pressed his hips against her, thrilled and frightened her at the same time. Merle felt her body jerk and hesitated for moment and looked into her eyes to make sure she was alright. Gwen cupped his face in her hands and leaned up, covering his mouth with hers, reassuring him she knew what she wanted. Slipping her tongue into his, she caused a moan to escape from his throat from the sensation. As his mouth explored hers more deeply, he thrust his hips into hers and she raised up to meet his rhythm. She could feel how ready he was to take her by the thick buldge trapped in his boxers as he grinded against her. Merle grabbed roughly at her breast as he made his way towards it with his mouth, pulling the towel from between them and tossing it to the floor. The warmth of her skin against his made him crazy with desire as he gently bit her breast. She gasped and arched her back as she slipped her hand into his waist band and started to shove off his underwear but a knock at the door stopped them both.

They both looked up towards the door, hoping whoever it was would go away without knocking again. Merle decided to ignore it as he grabbed the back of her thigh, holding it tightly against his hip as he slowly grinded against her...not wanting the moment to be spoiled. Gwen kissed him again but quickly moved to his jaw and down his neck as she clung to him firmly, eager to feel more of him.

The knocking continued.

"Dammit..." Merle whispered. He stopped for a moment and yelled towards the door. "GO AWAY NANCY...WE'RE BUSY..."

Gwen giggled a little but the smile quickly dissipated from her face when she heard the voice, surprised it wasn't Nancy.

"MERLE...GOVERNOR WANTS TO TALK TO BOTH OF YA..." Lincoln's voice came from the other side of the door.

"TELL 'EM WE'RE BUSY...CATCH HIM LATER..." Merle met his mouth with Gwen's again but this time he could feel the tension throughout her whole body just from hearing mention of the Governor.

"HE WANTS TO SEE YA BOTH NOW...BEFORE DINNER...SO YA BETTER COME ON..." Lincoln hollared back.

Merle sighed deeply as he caught his breath.

"I don't think he's gonna leave without us..." Gwen remarked.

Merle grunted and kissed Gwen on the shoulder before he got off her and grabbed his pants off the floor. Gwen reached for her clothing from the end of the bed and got dressed. Merle struggled with his fastening his pants and belt, something he had seemed to have mastered one handed by now on previous days.

"Do you need me to help?" Gwen asked, noticing how flustered Merle was.

"I think you've helped plenty already..." Merle remarked, also mumbling something about "blue balls" that Gwen couldn't quite make out as he roughly adjusted himself and finished getting dressed.

Merle helped Gwen get her boots on and watched as she struggled to walk towards the door.

"Shouldn't be walking just yet...all that runnin' and jumpin' around ya did...you done fucked yourself up..." Merle remarked.

"I'll be fine..." Gwen reassured him.

Merle opened the door to find Lincoln standing there.

"What's this about?" Merle asked.

"Fuck if I know Merle...Gov just said he wanted to speak with ya right away..." Lincoln remarked as he turned and headed down the hallway.

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Slowly they started to make their way across the street when Merle stopped and gently grabbed Gwen by the arm.

"This is stupid...can't let ya keep tryin' to walk on it...besides...it'll take ya fuckin' ten years just to get there." Merle remarked as he scooped her up in his arms and began to carry her.

"MERLE!" Gwen was startled by his actions and a little embarrassed. "Ya just goin' to carry me everywhere now?"

"If I have ta!...Besides...sooner we get there...sooner we can get back to what we was doin'" Merle smiled.

Gwen waited for Merle to make eye contact with her as she wrapped her arms around his neck but he didn't. He just looked straight ahead with a "shit ass" grin on his face.

"What if I ain't in the mood once we get back?" Gwen asked playfully.

"I'm sure I can fix that..." Merle quickly replied.

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Both Gwen and Merle waited anxiously in the Governor's office as Lincoln went to get him. Nervously, Gwen began chewin' on her thumbnail.

"Damn...you 'bout as bad as Daryl with that...gonna gnaw you're own thumb off if ya keep that up." Merle stated.

Gwen lowered her hand to her lap, not even realizing she had started doing it in the first place. "What do ya think he wants now?"

Merle could see how nervous she was...her "outing" the other day had shaken her up bad but she had yet to really speak about it. She was never one to overly talk about her feelings. It was one of the things Merle really liked about her. She kept it to herself...she didn't whine about things even if she earned the right to.

The Governor walked into the office and Gwen kept her eyes fixated on him the whole way to the other side of his desk.

"I'm terribly sorry to keep you both waiting...I would've spoken to you both sooner but I figured you needed the rest Gwen..." The Governor addressed Gwen first.

"What's this all about?" Merle figited as he asked.

"Well...for starters, I've been thinking...Gwen I know the last time you were in here you remarked how you weren't afraid of me...you were bold and matter of fact about it but not in an arrogant way. I knew right then that I would like you...I don't want people to fear me, I want to be clear about that...but I do want people to abide by what I've set forth in this town...I want to keep this town a pleasant and peaceful place in the midst of these difficult and troubled times...an oasis you might say...and that's why I've made the rules that I have and strictly enforce them...But Gwen...I do realize I owe you my most sincerest apology...it was too soon, or I should've just kept you close to me...I put a great deal of pressure on you for your first scavenge and I was wrong to have done that..." The Governor told her as both she and Merle quietly listened.

The Governor paused for a moment almost as if he expected some kind of response from Gwen.

"Um...I don't...know what to say..." She said softly.

"That's quite alright...you don't have to say anything...you've been through a lot the last few days but one thing it has shown me is that I can trust you and I can't tell you how valuable that is to me... and how much I appreciate that. I know right now your faith may be a little shaken but I do hope one day you will feel as if you can equally trust me the same...it also shows me your dedication to this man..." The Governor pointed at Merle. " You could've taken that gun I gave you and gone elsewhere...found others or just your own place...but instead you came back here...you wanted to come back and I know that part is sitting right next to you."

Gwen glanced over at Merle and he was biting his lip as he intensley stared at the Governor.

"And you Merle...I never had any question of trusting you before...I won't sugar coat it though...I've had my suspicions about both of you lately but your actions have calmed those concerns...before Gwen came in the picture I knew you were a strong...loyal man...maybe rough around the edges and someone who likes to push the limits but I knew...I KNEW...if a job needed to be done...regardless of what it was...you were the go to man...I should have more people like you Merle...you're fearless at times...you don't hesitate or second guess yourself when things get hectic. You thrive on it instead..." The Governor addressed Merle.

Gwen watched Merle's face as the Governor spoke...Merle didn't like to follow rules...he was difficult and hard headed but she could see in his face why it was different for him in Woodbury...in Woodbury, he was respected...The Governor seemed to put a faith in Merle that Merle never had before...suddenly everything about this town made more sense to her, she had wondered why Merle had been so "content" here for lack of a better word...he was finally appreciated for who he was and it was written all over his face...that sense of pride.

"You're behavior as far as Gwen has been unusual and out of character...even erratic in a sense but I've come to realize it's because she is probably one of the few people you truly care about...and there's nothing wrong with that Merle...we all have people we care about...we all do things for them that we wouldn't do under any other circumstances...I admire that in you Merle as well...I really do." The Governor told him.

"And as for the two of you...I know things have been difficult...I know we've had some hard feelings between each other...but I do want to put all of this behind us and start fresh...that is...if you are both willing..." The Governor waited for one of them to speak.

Merle cleared his throat and finally spoke up. "Ain't got no hard feelin's Gov..."

Gwen looked over at Merle as he spoke then back at the Governor. The Governor looked pleased as he smiled at Merle then directed his attention back to Gwen...she couldn't help but feel a little creeped out by the whole exchange. "No hard feelin's here either..." She said what she thought he wanted to hear even if she didn't fully mean it.

"Good...then it's settled...thank you both..." The Governor stood up and walked them both out. Once they were at the bottom of the steps, Merle was about to pick Gwen up to carry her back when Darlene stormed up.

"Well isn't this just cozy...saw ya bring her here...carryin' her like she's a crippled or somethin'..." Darlene started in on Merle when the Governor interupted.

"That's enough Darlene...this is none of your concern at the moment...go back to your bar..." He ordered as he started to raise his voice.

Merle felt his stomach turn...he hadn't said a word to Gwen about Darlene and her approach couldn't have come at a worse time. "Shut ya mouth Darlene..." Merle barked at her.

"Well you sure seemed to be eager for me to have it open the other day...when your dick was in my mouth..." Darlene said sharply as she smirked at Gwen.

Gwen's mouth dropped open and her face turned pale. "What?..."

"That's right honey...while you was out there strugglin' to stay alive, fightin' for your life, Merle was busy gettin' his rocks off with me..." Darlene quipped.

"YOU SHUT IT BITCH OR I'LL SHUT IT FOR YA!" Merle yelled as he lunged towards her but the Governor jumped in between them as Lincoln attempted to push Merle back. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME LINC!" Merle jerked away from him and turned his back as he tried to get ahold of his own anger. She had said exactly what he hoped she wouldn't...it was out and Gwen couldn't unhear it and he knew it.

Merle looked over at Gwen who stood there silent, just staring at him in disbelief. He didn't have any words for her at that moment. No clue in what to say or do. He stepped closer towards her and grabbed her arm "Come on let's go..."

Gwen jerked her arm away from him, almost throwing herself off balance. "Wait...that's all you have to say about this?...come on let's go?" Gwen kept repeating Darlene's words in her head. She almost couldn't believe it but with the look on Merle's face she knew it was the truth.

Merle just stared at Gwen...all she could see was anger in his eyes but he offered no excuse and no apology.

"Darlene...you're going to leave now!" The Governor ordered to Darlene. She hesitated for a moment, rolled her eyes, then turned and stomped off back to her bar.

Gwen just stared back at Merle and waited but he said nothing.

Merle couldn't help but close his eyes and turn his head when Gwen cracked him hard against the cheek with her palm. Gwen's hand felt like it was on fire after striking him and she knew without even looking back at it that it had left a mark on both of them. Merle still didn't say a word.

Gwen looked at him in disgust then suddenly realized the Governor and Lincoln were still there just staring at both of them. Gwen's eyes began to fill with tears as her gaze moved from Lincoln, the Governor then back to Merle. She didn't say another word but turned and started to limp back to the hotel. The adrenaline surging through her veins helped masked her own pain from her ankle but didn't mask the pain she felt in her heart. Suddenly she felt very stupid and foolish.

.

Merle started to slowly follow after her when the Governor stopped him. "I think it might be best if you give her a chance to cool off...give her some time...but one thing is for sure brother...I don't envy you one bit at this moment..." The Governor patted Merle on the shoulder then went back inside.

Merle stood there and watched as Gwen faded from his sight.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

_To hell with it! _Merle thought to himself. _She ain't got no right to be so pissed….yeah I coulda blown it with the Governor and all but hell….it ain't like we was sleepin' together….if she thinks I'm gonna apologize she got another thing comin'….._

Merle wanted to not care at all but the nagging feeling of all that had happened weighed heavy on him. The fact that he even worried what she was thinking was something new for him. That along with the guilt he had been feeling ever since she got back, was all new. All new and he didn't like it.

"Fuck this shit…..I'm tired 'n' goin' to bed….she don't like it then she can hobble herself some place else….I ain't gonna talk this shit to death neither."

Merle stomped his way back to the hotel, mumbling and grumbling the whole way. Once outside their room door, he paced back and forth for a few minutes. He had talked himself into being furious and ready for a fight.

He entered the room and slammed the door behind him. "YOU GOT SOMETHIN' YOU WANNA SAY?" Merle hadn't planned on yelling but it just came out.

Gwen looked up at him blankly as she crawled into bed. "Not if your gonna yell like that all night...my head's killin' me...I'd rather just go to sleep..."

"OH...SO I GUESS THAT'S ALL MY FAULT?! BETCHA THINKIN' I OWES YA SOME APOLOGY OR SOMETHIN'" Merle snapped back at her.

"No Merle I don't...besides...Merle Dixon ain't one to make apologies...I learned that in the very beginning..." She said matter of fact.

Merle was confused by her calmness and lack of emotion when she spoke. He had come in ready for a fight but now he just felt stupid as he sat on the edge of the bed and struggled to take off his boots.

He took a deep breath before speaking again to calm himself. "Ain't ya pissed?" Merle asked as he looked over his shoulder at her.

Gwen crossed her arms across her chest as she leaned against the head board. "No Merle...I ain't pissed...although if your gonna mess around at least do it with someone who knows to keep her mouth shut...I mean the Governor already had his doubts about us...do you WANT to get our asses in deep shit for lying?"

"He don't seem ta question it no more..." Merle stated.

"Yeah no thanks to that... You got lucky...no pun intended..." Gwen said, mumbling the last part. She took a deep breath to quell the anger that wanted to rise back up but she knew she didn't really have the right to be. She and Merle weren't together...he didn't owe her anything...they were just putting on an act to protect each other. No matter how much she hid her hurt and anger from Merle or knew it was stupid, she still felt it.

Merle finished undressing to his boxers and climbed in bed next to her but as soon as he did she scooted herself down and laid on her side with her back towards Merle.

"It ain't like I'm carryin' on with her...I mean I did before but I ain't now..." Merle hoped for more of a reaction from her but she remained cold and distant.

" I don't care what you do Merle but at least be discrete with whatever..." She replied emotionless.

Merle huffed as he leaned over and turned off the light. Folding his arms behind his head, he laid on his back and stared at the ceiling in silence for a few minutes.

" Well if ya ain't mad why'd ya smack me so damn hard!" Merle couldn't help but rub his cheek from the thought of it.

"All for show Merle...I mean that's all this is right? For pretend? It's not like we really care about each other...we're just pretending..." She remarked without turning to face him. She was afraid that if she looked at him he'd know she was lying...it wasn't just for show...she did it because she was hurt and pissed, even if she didn't have the right to be.

Merle stared at her for a moment then roughly turned to his side with his back towards her. "Yeah...that's all it is...just pretend..." Merle said angrily. _That's all it is to her then it ain't nothin' more for me neither._

.

The next few days were filled with awkward silence between Gwen and Merle. Whenever possible he'd get up and leave before she'd even wake up to start his day's duties. Gwen was becoming restless being cooped up in the room all day. She was tired of babying her ankle but she still couldn't put much weight on it.

Merle headed across the roadway towards the Governor. The Governor met him halfway.

"You ready to go?" He asked Merle.

"Ready for whatever gets me outta here..." Merle remarked.

The Governor laughed a little to himself and shook his head. "Still in the doghouse Merle? Can't say I'm too surprised. I did have my own chat with Darlene...I made it clear to her to leave you alone...give you and Gwen some time to work things out although she seems bound and determined to stake her claim on you...looks like you have quite a mess on your hands."

The Governor looked off to the side and Merle followed his direction of stare and noticed Darlene standing outside the bar, leaning against the building with her arms crossed glaring in their direction.

The amusement quickly left the Governor's face as he turned back to Merle. "It's getting a little old Merle...you know how I feel about conflict in this town...handle it..." He walked off and waved his arm as he walked away. "Come on let's go..."

.

It was late when Merle came back to town, as he tried to creep quietly into the hotel room. Of course it seemed like the quieter he tried to be, the louder he was. Gwen quickly sat up and turned on the light. She rubbed her eyes trying to focus and saw Merle squatting on the floor as he picked up a crutch, then placing it against the wall next to the other.

"Did you get those for me?" Gwen asked.

"Don't look I need 'em do it?" Merle snapped back at her more annoyed with himself for waking her up than the fact that she asked the obvious question.

"Did you find anything else good in town?" Gwen asked.

Merle sat on the bed and kicked off his boots. "What?...those ain't good enough for ya?"

Gwen shot him an annoyed look. "That's not what I meant and you know it...but thank you...it will be nice to get out of this room for a change...Beatrice came by earlier...she said The Governor wants me to start coming by and working with her and the doctor once I feel up to it...maybe I'll get over there tomorrow now."

Merle just grunted at her.

"Did you run in to any walkers today?" Gwen asked. The fact was, she was tired of Merle avoiding her. She felt like he was becoming more and more distant and she was just wanting things to go back to the way they were before. The only problem was she didn't know how to fix it without admitting to Merle how she really felt and she knew once she did there would be no turning back. She couldn't risk it pushing him further away if he didn't feel the same way.

"Naw...just a couple roamin' around...nothin' we couldn't handle..." Merle remarked as he stood up and walked into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and soon thereafter, Gwen heard the water running. She settled back down in the bed. She tried to make herself stay awake until Merle came back out.

Merle exited the bathroom and discovered Gwen had fallen asleep. It was just as well for him. He didn't know what to say or how to be around her anymore. Things were strained and he didn't know how or if he could make things go back to the way they were. She had said it herself. They were just pretending...she didn't really care, so what was the big deal? What did he really care? He was never a one woman kind of man anyways. Hell...they hadn't even had sex. But they had come close. Merle couldn't help but think about that day and how eagerly she had responded to him. Every touch, every kiss led to both of them just wanting more. His body responded to the memory as he thought about it. He hated being that close to her yet nothing happened but all he could do now was chalk it up to maybe just her moment of weakness...like his with Darlene...if Gwen said she didn't really care why should he think otherwise?

.

The next morning, Gwen had beaten Merle out of bed. He sat up in the bed and noticed her fully dressed, sitting on the window seat adjusting the crutches for her height. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Can't wait to get out huh?" Merle asked.

"I would've gone last night when you first brought them back if I hadn't been so tired." Gwen remarked. "You on watch today?"

"Yeah...guess I should be getting up myself." Merle grumbled as he got up and got dressed.

It was the first day they left the hotel together in almost a week...there were looks and whispers from others around as they walked out of the building. Merle headed towards the gate and Gwen started to head towards the clinic. Passing by the bar along the way, Darlene slithered out the door and called out to her.

"Still tryin' to keep Merle on that leash of yours?...you can't control him no matter how hard you try...he'll come back around my way in no time..." Darlene remarked.

Gwen did her best to ignore her but just listening to her voice was like nails on a chalk board, grating on her nerves. She tried to pick up her speed on her crutches to get further from her.

Darlene walked over towards her and shoved Gwen hard, knocking her off balance. She dropped one of the crutches but clung to the other, keeping herself from falling. She glared up Darlene but before she could do or say anything she noticed Darlene's expression change to one of fear. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Here...let me help you." The Governor remarked as he picked up the crutch she dropped and handed it to her. "Please...go on...Beatrice will be happy to see you...I'll take care of this."

Reluctantly Gwen made her way towards the clinic as The Governor turned his attention back to Darlene.

"Step inside..." He motioned for her to go back into the bar and as she did, he followed after her.

Darlene marched over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass and poured herself a stiff one.

"I thought we had settled this Darlene..." The Governor remarked.

Darlene looked back at him and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand after she took the shot. "It ain't that simple...you were all for findin' out the truth now suddenly you're singin' a new tune...how'd they fool you so easy?"

The Governor quickly snatched her by the neck and pulled her face close to his as he squeezed even tighter. "I'm nobody's fool Darlene...you remember that..." He shoved her back, grabbed the whiskey bottle from the bar and poured himself a drink.

Darlene took a few steps away from him as she rubbed her throat. "I ain't meaning you's a fool...just sayin' I don't believe he cares about her...you always said you don't like when people lie ta ya."

"That's right Darlene...I don't...and it was no secret you and Merle were carrying on from time to time before she showed up. I will admit, you did cast doubt in my mind for a bit, however watching both of them, especially when they're together...anyone can see they truly care about one another...I don't know their full history and I don't care at this point. There are more important things to worry about. Merle may try to fight it but there is a different side to him when he is with her. She is also proving herself to be quite valuable...she handled herself well in town and with Andrew...most people wouldn't have had the nerve...that's the kind of people I want in this town...not people that can't let go of things when things are over and done with or who let their emotions run amuck...you might want to think on that a bit Darlene...in fact, I strongly recommend it..." The Governor downed his drink and walked out the door.

The Governor entered the clinic to find Beatrice, Dr. Stevens and Gwen in one of the exam rooms. Gwen was sitting on the edge of one of the exam tables. "What's going on here?" He asked.

"Just taking an inventory of everything...showing Gwen where everything is..." Beatrice told him.

"Well...what do you think Gwen?" The Governor asked.

"About what?" Gwen was confused but much of her attention was focused on Dr. Stevens. She noticed how he flinched as soon as he heard the Governor's voice as he came into the room. Dr. Stevens didn't even attempt to make eye contact with him.

The Governor looked at the doctor but soon aimed his attention back to Gwen. "Well...I was hoping the good doctor here would've filled you in..."

The doctor cleared his throat and finally spoke up. "Sorry sir...I was planning on it but I just hadn't had the chance yet..."

Gwen looked at Beatrice who went along her business as if there wasn't a conversation going on around her.

"Gwen...I know you have some medical knowledge...not as much as we had initially gotten the impression from Merle but I guess everyone is guilty of embelishments about the ones they care about...but you did go to nursing school, is that correct?" The Governor asked.

"Yes...but I had to drop out...just didn't have the means to pay for it..." Gwen was curious as to where exactly he was going. She initially thought they wanted her just to help out when she could at the clinic, figuring with how old Beatrice was they'd want a back up in case she could no longer help but with the doctor now and the fact that the clinic was never very busy, she wasn't sure what they were going to have her do.

"I want the good doctor and Beatrice here to put you through their own "nursing" school so to speak...get you back up to speed on things...kind of like an EMT in a way...someone that could handle coming out into the field, beyond Woodbury's borders and tend to the wounded if something arose...the further we venture out, the more often we have started coming across others...there are evil people out there...people that want to take what we've worked so hard for and I want to protect all the men that I have. I know walker injuries are hopeless but not injuries caused from other men..."The Governor told her.

"An EMT?" Gwen asked.

"Yes...instead of working here you'd come with us on scavenges or any other outing beyond the gates here...You'd have you own pack of supplies, weapons and you'd come with us...that way if something happened, people would receive enough medical attention to help get them back here where the doctor could work his magic...once you're 100% again of course...what do you think?"

"I think I like that idea..." Gwen remarked.

"Good then it's settled...but there is one more matter I wish to discuss with you...Beatrice...Dr. Stevens...if you could excuse us please."

Both left the room and the Governor shut the door behind them. Gwen's stomach turned not sure what he was wanting to talk about.

"I spoke with Darlene..." The Governor stated and just stared at her.

Gwen waited awkwardly for him to continue and when he didn't, the silence began to eat away at her nerves. "And?..." She asked.

"I'm not sure what it will take for her to let things go but she seems adament in coming between you and Merle...not to mention the last time I saw the two of you together she seemed to be pretty successful at that...now don't get me wrong...I know Merle is far from being an angel but I do know that when we were out yesterday his mind was on you...that's why when he found the crutches he instantly wanted to bring them back for you...this fighting between the two of you...it's a distraction for him...and I need him fully focused..." The Governor remarked.

"Well...I don't like fighting with Merle...but like you said...he's no angel..." Gwen stated.

"I think you are missing my point..." The Governor sat down next to her on the exam table and gently caressed her cheek with his hand but before he pulled his hand away he grabbed a firm hold on her jaw, under her chin. "I **need **Merle's focus back...which means you will forgive him and things will settle down here in town...am I understood?"

Gwen grabbed his wrist to try and pull his hand away but he gripped her more tightly. She stared into his eyes, determined not to break away from his stare.

"Let go of my wrist Gwen..." He ordered calmly.

Gwen just stared at him silently but didn't let go.

"I said...let...go..." The Governor commanded as Gwen reluctantly released his wrist but he still kept a firm grasp on her jaw.

The Governor leaned in close and Gwen caught the whiff of whiskey on his breath...

"There are two ways this can work out...#1. You can do as I say, make ammends with Merle and everyone will be happy...#2. You ignore my request...Merle remains distracted and his next outing he will become the unfortunate victim of a terrible accident...it's your choice Gwen..."

The Governor released her and stood back up and headed towards the door. "Just think about it...but if you decide the latter...then you will be left here alone in Woodbury, with no ally...you and Merle best keep each other in line if you know what's good for you here."

Gwen suddenly felt nauseous as he exited the room. She quickly understood though why the Governor was "supportive" of their relationship all of a sudden. It was a means to control both of them...especially Merle Dixon...The Governor knew the praise and "respect" he offered Merle that she had seen in their discussion before would only partly control him...Merle could handle losing that from someone, but having someone he could hold over Merle and knowing he could hold Merle's safety over her...that made all the difference in the world..."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Merle ended up pulling a double shift for watch and by the time he got back to the hotel it was late. He entered the room and noticed all the lights were still on but Gwen was asleep, text books covering her lap. Merle quietly walked over to her side of the bed and picked up one of the books. One was title "Survivalist First Aid" and the other was a more standard trauma medicine book. Merle folded down the page in each, closing each books and resting them on the nightstand. He pulled the blanket up tighter around her as she stirred a little but remained asleep. Merle gently brushed her hair away from her face and smiled a little to himself remembering the pink hair she had when they first met. God he hated that pink hair of hers. Now that it was gone he couldn't help but miss it a little. As beautiful as he thought she now looked without it, it became a reminder of their time at the house when things were simpler. He left the house on a quest for revenge but ended up settling in a new place...revenge hadn't been his main focus lately but it was always on his mind with his handless wrist being a constant reminder.

_What are you doin' here? Settlin' down?...ain't gonna find your brother_ _or officer friendly guarding gates and scavenging towns every day. Gotta come up with a plan...gotta find a way to get back on track...if ya wanted to settle down, ya coulda just stayed at the house with Gwen...then maybe ya would've been able to protect it and her from the herd that came through...then she wouldn't have had to deal with Woodbury and all that comes with it._

Merle couldn't help but feel torn. Woodbury had been a good place for him. People respected him, many feared him but he had been given a great deal of responsibility by the Governor. The Governor trusted him and trust was not something he gave out very freely. It was a safe place for the most part...at least from walkers...supplies may not have been plentiful but there was enough to go around. No more sleeping in tents, on cots or the hard ground. Granted Merle didn't have a problem with roughing it when the time called for it but he still appreciated hot showers and comfortable beds. Things had changed since Gwen arrived. He found himself in trouble with the Governor more often than not for one reason or another because of her. Not that he blamed her but the Governor was right...Gwen brought out a different side of him and she also reminded him of everything that was wrong with Woodbury. She made things more complicated. He had spent the last few months recovering from his injury, getting stronger and even working out. He wanted to physically be ready when he came across the old group again...ready to make them all regret what they had done to him. Now he found his focus to be more on Gwen. He found himself thinking about her more than anything else. A part of him wanted to go back to the house but she had been the exact reason why he left in the first place.

Merle went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He dropped all his clothes in the floor and climbed in letting the hot water wash over him. The warmth felt good after a long day of standing outside in the cold. Not just to warm him up but soothing to his sore muscles. Tomorrow would be another long day for him...the Governor planned another scavenge to a neighboring town. Merle closed his eyes and let the water wash down his face...

_...Wonder how many walkers are still there...maybe there ain't that many...maybe I could clear them all out...Gwen and I could go back there...Governor doesn't know about the house or where it is...we could stay there...I could hunt...scavenge towns for supplies together once her ankle's better...maybe even find Daryl along the way...house is big enough for the three of us...who am I kiddin'? She said she didn't really care about me none...can't say I blame her...I ain't really done nothin' for her anyhow...now she got the Governor and Darlene breathin' down her neck...If she's able to get out of Woodbury to a safe place...it would be a safe place away from me..._

_._

Gwen woke up the next morning from the sunlight hitting her in the face. She rubbed her eyes and yawned as she struggled to wake up.

"Merle?..." Gwen noticed she was alone in the bed. The bathroom door was open and the room was silent.

"Crap..." Gwen rushed to get dressed and grabbed her crutches as she hurried to exit the room.

She tried to stay awake to talk to Merle after watch but clearly she slept through his return as well as his early departure that morning.

"Dammit Merle...the one time you are actually quiet I need to talk to you!" Gwen wanted to make sure she spoke with him about her exchange the day before with the Governor. She couldn't get what the Governor said out of her mind about something happening to Merle on the next outing. She couldn't risk Merle leaving the Governor with the impression they hadn't "kissed and made up". Merle may not offer the information willingly but she wouldn't put it past the Governor to manipulate him into finding out.

Gwen rushed over to the gate and noticed Merle wasn't on watch. Her stomach turned as she headed towards the Governor's office and noticed Beatrice coming down the front steps.

"Is the Governor in?" Gwen asked somewhat out of breath from her hustling on the crutches.

"No dear I'm afraid not...he went out early with some of the other men..." Beatrice remarked. "Are you coming to the clinic today?"

"Was Merle with him?" Gwen asked frantically.

"Yes...I do believe it was Merle, Lincoln and about four other men...not sure who the others were though...is something wrong?...dear you look pale." Beatrice asked concerned.

"Guess I'm just not feeling so well today...I..." Gwen felt a wave of dread wash over her...not feeling so well was a huge understatement. She felt like her legs would've given out from underneath her if she hadn't been leaning on the crutches.

"Then go back to your room...I can see about bringing you some food later or have Nancy do it...just take care of yourself..." Beatrice told her as she turned and headed towards the clinic.

Gwen started to head back towards the hotel. She felt tears begin to well up in her eyes but fought them back. Her chest tightened as she struggled to breath deeply. If Merle didn't come back...she'd never forgive herself...

.

"GOV...BEHIND YOU!" Merle yelled as a walker charged towards the back of the Governor as he was finishing off another he had on the ground. The Governor swung the axe hard into the walker's skull as he turned around.

Merle pierced the skull of one of the three walkers he was fighting off with the bayonet mount on his wrist guard, shoving it against the other walker and swinging a machete in the head of the other with his left hand. He didn't bother to try and recover the weapon as it stuck in the walker's head, dropping to the floor. Merle kicked the dead walker as hard as he could and pulled his bayonet free, knocking the other walker down in the process. Adrenaline surged like fire through his veins. His heart raced as he jumped on top of the walker, the beating of his heart drowned out the squishing sound made by the bayonet as it pierced through the eye socket. He stood up and quickly stabbed the third walker in the temple as it came towards him. He scanned the area around him for another but the room was quiet except for the heavy breathing of the Governor. He pulled his bayonet mount out of the walker's head, kicking it to the ground and paused for a moment. Merle leaned forward, resting his hand and stump against his knees as he caught his breath. The Governor slowly walked towards him as he did the same.

The Governor looked around the surplus store at the large body count left by he and Merle.

"You'd think they are learning places we'd want to hit for supplies and just waiting it out for us to show up by the looks of it." The Governor laughed still breathing heavy.

"Sure looks like it don't it?" Merle laughed as he rubbed the back of his head. In spite of the coldness in the air he still managed to work up quite the sweat.

Merle grabbed a pile of duffle bags and began filling them as full as he could. Some might've passed by with it full of so many walkers but not this place and not these men. An abandoned army surplus store full of supplies was too good to pass up. Merle felt almost like it was Christmas as he zipped one bag and started to fill another.

"You're impressive Merle...how many walkers did you take out here? Six? I feel like I'm losing my touch with only killing four and struggling at that...you're hard to keep up with..." The Governor remarked as he packed full a bag himself.

"I ain't passin' up this candy store cause of a bunch a geeks...we've hit the jackpot here." Merle remarked.

"No argument there Merle..." The Governor remarked

Lincoln rushed into the store, out of breath. "Man this place is crawling with geeks...let's get the hell outta here..."

"Back the trucks up to the front of the store...do whatever it takes to hold them back...we're cleaning this place out..." The Governor instructed.

.

The knocking on Gwen's door caused her to jump. Her nerves were on edge just waiting for the men to return. She wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath as she limped with one crutch to the door and opened it.

"Gwen dear...how are you feeling?" Beatrice asked as she stood in the doorway holding a bowl of soup.

"I've had better days..." Gwen replied as she turned away from the door and headed back over to sit on the bed.

"Have you been crying?" Beatrice asked noticing how red her eyes were.

"I just...it's nothing...I'm just not feeling well..." Gwen wanted to ask about the Governor but she was afraid. Beatrice was a nice elderly lady but she was also halfway up the Governor's ass and Gwen didn't trust her when it came down to it.

"You've been studying?" Beatrice asked as she pointed towards the books on the bed as she rested the bowl on the nightstand.

"Figured it would help pass the day..." Gwen told her, anxious for her to leave but she seemed to just linger around.

Beatrice wandered over by the window and sat down on the window seat, looking out.

"There is something I wanted to say...not quite sure how to go about this..." Beatrice suddenly seemed awkward and uncomfortable but it got Gwen's attention.

"Now I'm not one who likes to get into gossip or meddle in people's relationships but...the issue with Merle and Darlene...well I'm just concerned for you is all." Beatrice began.

"I'd rather not discuss that with you..." Gwen closed her eyes and shook her head. She wasn't in the mood to hear anything about Darlene.

"It's just that...Darlene...she seems bound and determined to cause problems with you and Merle...I'm sure this is nothing new for you but just some of the grumblings I've heard from her lately make me concerned for you...I just think you need to be extra cautious around her..." Beatrice looked out the window as if something got her attention. "Well...looks like the men are back...it's been a long day...I'll make myself scarce since I'm sure Merle is exhausted."

She smiled and excused herself from the room. Gwen rushed to grab her crutches and followed soon after.

Gwen rushed out of the hotel as fast as she could...the dust from tires still lingered in the roadway as she made her way down the road to where the vehicles were parked. She looked for Merle but didn't see him as the other men began to remove bags from rear of the trucks and SUVs.

_Oh my God...please no...don't let him have done it...please don't let Merle be dead...please... _She couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face as she watched the men carry bag after bag into the building.

The Governor stepped back out onto the porch, resting his hands on his hips, looking at the back of the vehicles proudly.

Gwen noticed the Governor and was on the verge of yelling when she saw Merle step out behind him on the porch. The Governor's attention went back towards Merle as Merle headed down the steps. The Governor's hand patting him with pride on the back as he passed by him. Merle started towards the back of the truck with a smile on his face but it quickly disappeared when he saw the look on Gwen's face as she came towards him.

Merle quickly headed straight for Gwen. The look on her face sent a chill down his spine. He didn't know what to make of it but something was clearly wrong. As soon as she was close, she dropped both her crutches and threw both arms around his neck. She held on tight as she buried her face against his neck. Merle could feel her trembling and the warm, wet tears against his skin.

"Gwennie...what's wrong? What happened?" Merle asked but Gwen didn't utter a word. Merle squeezed her tightly for a moment then let go. Grabbing her by the shoulder he pushed her back enough to make her face him.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked up at him. Merle searched her face for some kind of answer as she tried to speak but she couldn't seem to get out the words. Cupping her face in his hand he wiped a few tears away with his thumb.

"Tell me...what is it? Someone try to hurt you? Tell me what's wrong?" Merle demanded.

Gwen just shook her head, her hands gripping the back of his neck. She stared into his eyes and saw how worried and confused he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Without even thinking she leaned in, pressing her lips against his.

There was nothing he wanted to do more than to kiss her but at the same time the confusion caused him to reluctantly push her back.

"What's gotten into you?" Merle asked. Gwen's crying unnerved Merle. She had never been one to cry much if at all that he could remember.

"I thought...I just...please...let's just go back to the room..." Gwen finally managed to spit out.

"Ok..." Merle said softly, still as confused as ever as Gwen desperately held onto him.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback. Keep the reviews coming! Hope you like this next chapter! ;) I know its been a long time coming...**

Chapter 32

Merle came out of the bathroom rubbing the towel against his head, wearing only his boxers. He draped the towel over the door when he was done. He stared at Gwen a moment as she sat in the bed. She was wearing a tight black tank top and just a pair of panties...his mind began to wander as he admired how tight her top was but he quickly snapped his attention back to her behavior before.

"You gonna finally tell me what's wrong?" Merle asked as he walked to his side of the bed and climbed in next to her. He'd never seen her act like this and he found it unsettling. "I don't like this...don't like how ya lookin' at me..."

Her eyes were red and puffy. Merle wondered how long she had been crying because he could tell it hadn't just started when she saw him. Whatever it was, the fear was written all her over face as she looked at him.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Gwen told him as she breathed deeply. Just thinking of it again made her feel sick.

"Can't be just that...What happened? Ya need to tell me..." Merle demanded. Something had changed...something made this time different and he wanted to know what it was.

"I tried to stay up last night to tell you...I thought I could stay up studying until you came back to the room and we could talk...but I woke up this morning and you were gone...I didn't get a chance to tell you..." Gwen paused for a moment to take a breath.

"Tell me what?" Merle asked.

"The Governor...he told me he was going to kill you..." Gwen stated.

Merle looked shocked at her...he didn't understand it...he thought things were better with the Governor and the days events only validated that even more. "What?"

"At the clinic...yesterday he told me if I didn't forgive you and move on so things would go back to normal then next time you went on a scavenge he'd make sure you didn't come back...he's using you Merle...to control me...and using me to try and control you...it's all about power to him...everything...nothing comes out of his mouth good or bad that doesn't have an ulterior motive...when I didn't get a chance to tell you and realized you went out...I thought..." Gwen's voice trailed off.

Merle couldn't help but grow agitated. "You think I'm stupid? Is that it? You think I'm gonna just say to him that we still fightin'? Come on now..."

"That's not what I mean Merle..."

"Not whatcha mean huh?...like I ain't got no sense at all? Come on now...give me a little credit...you think I ain't been living here for months?" Merle started to raise his voice in anger as he stood back up and began pacing back and forth.

"MERLE! THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING AND YOU KNOW IT! WHY AREN'T YOU LSITENING TO ME?" Gwen couldn't help but yell at Merle. She spent the whole day worried sick about him and now he was being an ass.

"I'M LISTENING JUST FINE...DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENS TA ME ALL OF A SUDDEN WHEN YOU JUST GOT THROUGH SAYIN' YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" Merle yelled back.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? I NEVER SAID I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" She continued to yell now more angry and frustrated than she was upset at that moment.

"YA DID...AFTER THAT WHOLE MESS WITH DARLENE...YA SAID YA WAS JUST PRETENDING AND YA DON'T CARE...SO WHY YA ACTIN' LIKE YOU CARE NOW? HELL...YA'D PROBABLY BE GLAD IF I AIN'T COME BACK...THEN YA COULD FORGET YOU EVER KNEW ME.." Merle fumed with anger...all the things he had been thinking about the last couple of days was just spilling out of his mouth without him even giving it much thought.

"I ONLY SAID THAT CAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S HOW YOU FELT!" Gwen stood to face him and to stop him from pacing, careful not to put too much weight on her injured leg

"HOW I FELT? WHY THE FUCK DO YA THINK I RISKED MY LIFE BRINGING YA BACK? WHY THE FUCK YA THINK I'M TRYIN' TO MAKE SURE YER SAFE? YA THINK I DON'T CARE?...GOD DAMN WOMAN YA GOT SOME NERVE!"

Gwen looked at Merle in shocked silence for a moment. Without saying another word she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him passionately. Merle was caught off guard at first...he was ready to keep fighting with her but the warm, softness of her mouth quickly made all the anger disappear and replaced it with the burning desire he had tried so hard to push out of his mind. He grabbed her around the waist and as he sat on the bed he pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. His tongue pushed past her soft lips, fighting with her tongue just as intensely as the words had between them. Merle ran his hand up the back of her tank top, pushing it up then over her head, throwing it in the floor. Gwen pressed her bare chest against his. Their skin against skin made them both want each other even more. Merle's mouth explored it's way to her jaw, down her neck and towards her breasts. His hand made it's way to one as his mouth devoured the other. Gwen moaned softly from the sensation that ran through her entire body from the skill of Merle's tongue against her. He worked his way back up towards her mouth, stopping for a moment as his gnashed his teeth against her collarbone. He hadn't wanted any woman before the way he wanted her at that moment. Merle was rock hard as she ground her hips against him, both their tongues fighting for dominance while they kissed. Merle ran his hand through the back of her hair and gripped tightly as he pulled her face away from his.

Both of them gasping for air, he quickly spun her around, onto her back and climbed between her legs. Smothering her mouth with his as she pushed his boxers down his hips, freeing his erection. She stroked him eagerly with her hand feeling how large he was as he turned his face from hers as the groan escaped from his throat. Merle didn't waste another second as he ripped off her panties with one forceful pull. Gwen couldn't help but gasp from his forcefulness but it made her want him just that much more. She wanted him to ravage her like no one ever had. He slid his right arm under hers around her shoulders and reached for her thigh with his left. She spread her legs wide to accommodate him and in one full thrust he pushed deeply into her. She couldn't help but cry out as she clung to his back with one hand, running the other down to his ass and digging her nails into his skin. He thrust into her over and over again as she raised her hips each time to meet his rhythm. His mouth wandered to her neck, giving her a chance to breath more deeply. She knew she couldn't open her eyes even if she tried she was so overwhelmed with how amazing he felt inside her. She bit her lip as she tried to suppress her own moans of pleasure, not wanting it to end.

"Don't fight it...I wanna hear ya cum..." Merle whispered breathy into her ear.

His breath in her ear gave her the chills at the same time a rush of heat spread through her body. Her breathing became more rapid as she clung tightly to him. Her body shuddered against him as an intense wave of relief washed over her forcing her to cry out uncontrollably. Merle upped the tempo, the pounding of his heart followed by the labored huffs of breath against her neck. He groaned loudly as he spilled into her, his hot breath against her neck as he slowly stilled. Neither said a word as they lay there...him still on top of her as they both tried to catch their breaths. Merle propped himself up to face her and she slowly opened her eyes to see him staring at her, smiling proudly.

"Damn girl..." Merle kissed her before rolling onto his back. They both just lay there silently for a moment when Gwen sat up, grabbing the blanket as she started to stand.

"Where'ya goin'? Merle asked as he grabbed hold of the blanket to stop her.

"I have to go to the bathroom...is that ok?" She laughed as she jerked the blanket from him, wrapped it around herself and limped her way to the bathroom.

"Alright but hurry back...I ain't done with ya yet...still bashful huh?...even after all that?" Merle shouted after her as he laughed.

Once she made her way back to the bed, Merle quickly pulled her back on top of him. She ran her hands up his chest and leaned in close with Merle lifting his head from the pillow to meet her mouth as he wrapped his hand around the back of her head. He raised his hips against hers as he stiffened again and groaned softly.

"Already?" Gwen couldn't help but laugh a little with embarrassment from his readiness for her.

"Told ya I wasn't done with ya..." Merle remarked as he kissed her again, his hand wandering down and cupping her breast. He gently squeezed and rubbed his thumb across her nipple. "I ain't gonna be able to get enough of ya..."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback please keep reviewing the chapters! I really appreciate it. I'm hoping to update more this week because there are still a few events I have in mind before timing it up with the season 3 premiere on October 14th. That of course will all depend on my work schedule so keep your fingers crossed it won't be too crazy. I'm wanting the story to coincide up to the premiere point...give or take a little so hopefully I will have time to finish the other chapters and post before then. Thanks for all your support. Hope you enjoy...**

Chapter 33

The sunlight streamed harshly into the room, waking Gwen as she lay with her back against Merle's chest. One of his legs bent between hers and his arm rested across her chest. His snoring was interrupted as she stirred slightly and he loosened his grip allowing her to turn towards him to shield her face from the sun.

She slipped her arm underneath his and scooted in close. Merle kissed her forehead as she leaned in.

"Just let me sleep a few more minutes...then I'll be ready again..." He remarked groggily.

Gwen laughed as she kissed his chest. They hadn't been asleep for very long. Gwen had never had sex so many times in one night. "I was just turnin' away from the sun...go back to sleep..."

Merle pressed his hips firmly against hers and grunted. His voice even more raspy than normal. "Don't be lyin'..." He ran his hand up to her cheek and pulled her face into his as he kissed her mouth.

Gwen slipped one leg over his hip as her tongue eagerly met his as she ran her hands against his chest.

"Knew ya weren't done with me..." Merle smiled as he paused from kissing her, grabbing her thigh, gripping her tightly as his hips swayed against hers.

Both jumped from the sudden loud banging on the door.

"MERLE...GWEN...HURRY..." Nancy yelled from the other side of the door frantically.

"SHIT!" Frustrated, Merle pulled away from Gwen.

Normally Merle would've blown her off but something in her voice told him there was no time for that. He jumped up and grabbed his boxers off the floor. As he slipped them on and headed for the door, he looked back at Gwen who was also starting to get dressed. Merle cracked the door open just enough to speak to Nancy.

She looked scared and was out of breath. "Governor wants you near the gate...there's a heard of walkers headin' straight for us!"

Merle slammed the door and finished getting dressed. "You stay here..." Merle ordered as he grabbed his boots. Gwen had both her feet in hers but left the one on her injured ankle untied. She leaned on one crutch ready to leave with him.

"I'm coming too...I may not be much for runnin' but I can still shoot." Gwen replied.

"I SAID STAY HERE...AND THAT'S FINAL!" Merle barked.

"Now you listen here...don't go start treatin' me different just cause of last night...I can handle myself just fine...I'm going and THAT'S final." Gwen snapped back at him.

Merle mumbled under his breath as he jerked open the door. Gwen hobbled through on the one crutch and they headed out of the hotel. She noticed The Governor standing by the gate along with a bunch of other men from the town.

"NOW LISTEN UP...STAY CALM...YOU ALL KNOW WHERE YOUR POSTS ARE THROUGHOUT THE PERIMETER OF THIS TOWN...GO TO YOUR MARKS AND BE READY IF THEY TURN THIS WAY AND GET TOO CLOSE...I DON'T WANT TO EVEN GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO TRY TO BREACH THE GATE..." The Governor shouted as Lincoln passed out the weapons.

Lincoln handed a rifle to Merle. Gwen noticed the silencer on the end of the barrel.

"How many guns have that?" Gwen asked

Merle cut his eyes towards her. "Just enough for different posts on the perimeter...think there may be a few for some handguns...not as many as we need but enough for what we need right now..."

Gwen directed her attention back to the Governor and spoke "Where do ya want me?"

"I want you back to your room...finish healing then we'll talk more later in your regards for times like this ... besides ... Beatrice told me of all the studying you're doing...keep on it for now that's where your attention needs to be..." The Governor remarked as he checked the ammo in a few of the other guns.

"But I can shoot...I'd be more useful..." Gwen started to speak but the Governor cut her off.

"Don't argue...just go." He ordered sternly.

Gwen looked towards Merle but his attention was elsewhere as he climbed up his post on the gate.

Gwen reluctantly obeyed as she hobbled her way towards the hotel. She noticed Darlene standing in the doorway of the bar, biting her nails as she watched the gate. Her eyes cut over to Gwen and she glared at her. Gwen just rolled her eyes and went on.

.

Merle took aim through the rifle scope and took a deep breath. He had hoped to spend the whole day in bed with Gwen...the Governor had promised him the day "off" since they had such a rough trip the day before and Merle had intended to take advantage of it. Now plans had been changed and he did his best to push her from his mind. He started counting walkers...one...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight... He stopped when he heard Lincoln climbing up the post behind him taking aim as he got into position.

"How close are they?" Lincoln asked

"Still far enough away to breathe a little but close enough that everybody needs to be on their toes...I stopped countin' at eight and that ain't even put a dent in all that's out there...looks like a herd..." Merle told him.

Lincoln looked through the scope of his rifle and noticed a few had broken away and were heading towards the gate. "Got two in my sites...probably a few more that need puttin' down..."

Both Merle and Lincoln fired multiple times, each shot taking one out. The silencer on both their rifles kept the shots from attracting the walkers towards Woodbury. It took about thirty minutes for the herd to pass by completely and the men took out a total of about twenty five walkers. That was the closest a herd had gotten to Woodbury as of yet...and it was too close for comfort.

Merle climbed off the post as Lincoln followed behind him. He passed his rifle off to Lincoln as the Governor approached them.

"Good work...they didn't turn our way...think that's the first time outside of the city I've seen such a large herd..." The Governor remarked. "I don't like seeing this increase of activity...this town is going to stay safe...untouched from the outside world and I don't care what it takes to keep it that way...rest up...both of you for the rest of the day...starting tomorrow we'll be going out daily in teams...searching the area for stragglers...I want to make sure we're pushing them far from here..."

Merle headed back to the hotel...the surge of adrenaline in shooting the walkers made him even more anxious to get back to Gwen quickly.

As Darlene saw him heading back and she came running out towards him. "Everythin' ok? Are we safe?"

"For now..." Merle remarked as he kept walking but Darlene followed after him.

"Wait...I said wait...I just wanna talk..." Darlene pleaded with him.

"Give it a rest...yer embarrassin' yerself..." Merle remarked

"Only one embarrassin' them self is you acting like there's somethin' between y'all..." Darlene started to raise her voice.

Merle stopped in his tracks and whipped around towards her. "You know what Darlene...yer right..." Merle started to say as a smile came across her face. "Cause there wasn't a damn thing between us last night when I was fuckin' her."

Darlene's smile quickly left her face. She stood there with her mouth open...unable to speak.

"It's done...get over it..." Merle snapped at her.

"Yer lyin'..." Darlene said softly as tears began to fill her eyes but she knew from the tone of his voice that he wasn't.

Merle didn't say another word to her as he turned and headed back inside the hotel.

.

He entered their room but didn't see her. Merle smiled as he noticed she hadn't bothered to remake the bed, something she did regularly. He heard the water running in the shower as he sat on the window seat and took off his boots. Merle undid the clasps on his wrist guard as he stared for a moment at his stump. _Can't even touch her properly...fuckin' deformed freak..._ Merle smacked his own head to shut up his own internal voice. He stripped down to nothing and walked into the bathroom. Quietly he stepped in the shower, without saying a word he watched as the water ran down Gwen's back side, soap suds following every curve as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Slowly she turned around, her eyes still closed as she rinsed herself off and wiped her eyes. She was startled as she opened them.

"DAMMIT MERLE! YA GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" Gwen yelled at him.

She stepped slightly to the side as he stepped closer and rinsed himself off under the water. She watched as he breathed deeply letting the water run down his head and over the back of his neck as his shoulders began to relax from the warmth of it.

Merle turned his head towards her and looked her up and down. _Damn how'd I get so lucky...this just can't be right... _He thought to himself. Gwen started to squirm from his staring and started to cover herself with her arms when Merle reached up and gently grabbed her arm and pushed it back to her side.

"Don't...I wanna see ya..." Merle faced her and shortened the distance between them causing her to lean against the tile wall. Gwen couldn't help but slightly jump from the coldness against her back. He did want to see her...she had many scars that littered her body but somehow it made her more beautiful to him and he wanted to memorize them all.

"Come on Merle...that's enough..." She smiled as she felt her cheeks flush.

Merle's hand slid behind her neck, his fingers weaving into her hair as her firmly gripped and pulled her head over, exposing her neck. His mouth pressed against her skin, he pressed his whole body against hers as she ran her hand around to his back, gripping his shoulders. Her mouth and tongue exploring its way against his shoulder through the mixture of water and salt of his skin as she made her way to his neck. Merle groaned as he tilted his head back allowing her to work her way more easily towards his jaw but as soon as she reached it, he turned his face into hers and shoved his tongue into her mouth as he thrust his hips against hers.

He cupped her breast with his hand as he made his way to it with his mouth. His mouth engulfed her nipple sending a chill through her body. Gwen let out a soft moan as she ran her fingers through his hair. He slowly traced his way down her stomach with his mouth as he lifted her sore leg to rest over his shoulder kneeling between her legs. She tensed up, stiffening her arms to stop him. Merle firmly grasped her thigh, the water beating against his back.

"Ssshhhh...don't worry...I gotcha...I wanna taste every bit of ya." He spoke softly. Merle ran his tongue slowly inwards against her thigh. He flicked his tongue and licked her before covering her with his mouth.

"Oh God Merle..." Gwen uttered uncontrollably as she tilted her hips towards him. She grabbed tightly to his arm as his tongue continued to trace every ounce of her. Her leg began to shake as her breathing became more rapid and she gasped for air. Merle pulled away from her, kissing the inside of her thigh. He couldn't hold back any longer. He rose to his feet, still keeping a firm grip on her thigh as he held it against his waist. He reached his arm under her other leg and lifted her causing her to wrap both legs around him. His other arm wrapped around her back, holding her tightly as he thrust hard into her. Gwen cried out as Merle grunted loudly. His breath becoming more labored and he rocked his hips into her, faster and harder with each thrust, pounding into her until they both were over the edge.

Gently, Merle released his grip. His hand was stiff and a little sore from gripping tightly for so long. Carefully he guided her back to standing as the now cold water washed over them both. Gwen's face was buried against his neck as she tried to catch her breath. She didn't know how she was going to keep up with Merle's appetite for sex but at the same time found herself still wanting more. She was exhausted and sore from so much in such a small amount of time.

"I'm not used to all this Merle..." She remarked still struggling to breathe normal as Merle shut off the water and stepped out grabbing a towel.

"You ain't complain' a minute ago..." Merle flashed her a sly smile as he handed her the towel before grabbing one for himself.

"I didn't say I was complainin'...just sayin'...a girl may need a little break is all..." Gwen carefully stepped out of the tub but her legs were shaky.

Merle noticed and slipped his arms around her. "You alright?...I ain't hurt ya did I?"

"I'm ok...just a little weak in the knees I guess..." She replied.

"Well Gwennie...I had no idea you was such a delicate flower..." Merle laughed as he scooped her up into his arms and started to carry her back into the room.

"Merle stop...put me down!" She softly smacked his chest, embarrassed by his teasing.

Merle placed her on the bed and walked over to the dresser. He grabbed a clean pair of boxers for himself and a tank top and panties for her, that he tossed over at her.

Merle slipped on his boxers and noticed her smiling expression change to one of concern and worry. Merle sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her as she started to dress.

"What is it?" Merle asked.

Gwen looked up, looking intensely at him. "Everything seems...so...normal..."

"What's wrong with that?" He asked.

"Nothin'...I guess...I mean...I'm not complaining, at least not where you and I are concerned..." Gwen started to say.

"I think everybody in the building here knows you ain't complaining about me..." Merle laughed.

"Come on Merle...quit yer jokin'...I'm serious...it's just this place...I like feeling safe...I like being able to sleep through the night and not jump at every little sound or sleep with one eye open...it's like this town was the only place untouched by the outbreak...there's just so much security here..." Gwen told him.

Merle slipped under the covers and motioned for Gwen to lie down. She complied as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, guiding her arm across his chest as he laid on his back. He squeezed her hand gently as she rested her head against his chest, her body tucked in under his arm. "Whatcha gettin' at?"

"I'm just sayin'...as much as it might seem nice, it's a false sense of security...I know there are people in this town that can handle themselves if something happens but what about the ones that can't?...What if something happens?...What if those walkers had breached the gate and entered the town? Then what?...We can't live like this forever..."

Merle rubbed his hand along her arm softly. "You always this chatty after sex? Come on now...we'll worry 'bout this later...we both need some sleep...close yer eyes now...and yer mouth..."

Gwen felt Merle's chest shake slightly as he suppressed his own laughter from the last remark. She sighed deeply but figured he was probably right...no sense in tryin' to figure out the new world they were living in just in a few minutes...she needed to enjoy the time with Merle as long as she could since she had no way of knowing how long it would last.

"Didn't know you were one to cuddle much Merle...you didn't strike me as the sort..." Gwen remarked back.

"I ain't...just tryin' to get warm after ya made me stay in that shower with ya after the water turned cold..." He replied back. "Ya better not be callin' me soft neither, ya know how I hate that..."

'Don't worry Merle...being soft definitely isn't your problem." Gwen laughed. Her fingers trailed back and forth against his chest.

Merle sighed as he squeezed her more tightly...she was right...this was the first time his life ever seemed "normal". He had more in his life at that moment than he ever had before. Respect...even if it was with strings attached...a decent place to live...and a woman who wanted him that he actually liked being around let alone one he knew he didn't deserve. He didn't care if it was a facade...he'd enjoy every minute of it that he could before it was over. But he did know it wouldn't last. Merle started to reach up to stroke her hair but his stump quickly reminded him that was impossible...it also reminded him of the one thing besides the obvious he didn't have with him...and that was his own flesh and blood...the only family he had left...his brother...


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

_"Merle...MERLE!...WAKE UP!"_

_Merle opened his eyes to Daryl standing over him. He was lying on his back on the floor of the living room of the house he had shared with Gwen._

_"Playin' house again big brother?...When ya gonna learn?...Dixons weren't never meant for this kind of life..."_

_Merle sat up and looked around the room, dazed and confused as his eyes began to focus. The windows and doors were boarded up from the inside. Broken glass in a variety of places and the room was covered in a thick layer of dust and dirt._

_"Where's Gwen?...WHERE IS SHE?" Merle jumped to his feet as he shouted at Daryl._

_Daryl laughed as Merle frantically searched for her from room to room. A few minutes later, Merle came staggering down the stairs looking defeated._

_Daryl leaned against the wall with one foot propped up behind him. "Told ya...ya weren't meant for this...neither was I...nothin' but wishin' for somethin' that ain't never gonna happen...thinkin' someone would care about us...someone other than you and me...just like when we was kids...ain't had nobody then...and ain't gonna have nobody now..."_

_"No...no...no...it's different...it ain't gotta be like this..." Merle stated as he scratched his head...still in a haze of confusion._

_"Yer only kiddin' yerself Merle...even if she was here for you...you ain't never gonna be there for her...not really...you ain't never there for no one but yerself..." Daryl remarked._

_"THAT AIN'T TRUE!" Merle came face to face with Daryl. "AIN'T TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT...I WAS THERE FOR YOU! I RAISED YOU...MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE..."_

_Daryl laughed mockingly at Merle...he gently patted him on the shoulder as he slipped passed him and walked towards the front door but turned back. "You think you were there for me? Really Merle?...well why don't you tell me exactly when...was it when you were locked up in juvi all those times?...How about the time I got lost in the woods for days when I was nine?...or maybe it was the time our drunk dad beat the shit outta me so bad I laid in a puddle of my own vomit and piss for days in the bathroom 'til you finally came home from one of yer drug benders with yer buddies to find me..." Daryl began to raise his voice at Merle._

_"I found ya didn't I?...I took care of ya...cleaned ya up...didn't sleep for days until I knew you was ok..." Merle said softly, the guilt of not being there to stop his dad from pounding Daryl ate away at him as if he had just found him, even now after all these years._

_"Yeah...after the fact...damage already been done...how 'bout all those other times...how 'bout the time when..." Daryl started to continue on._

_"SHUT UP...JUST...shut...up..." Merle's voice trailed off as he got choked up. He had tried to be there for Daryl but he knew Daryl was right...he had failed in so many ways as he tried to deal with his own abuse he suffered by the hands of their father...abuse he had hoped to protect Daryl from...hoped but failed..._

_"Just like you failed me now big brother..." Daryl remarked _

_"What?" Shocked, Merle stared at Daryl then reality sunk in...this wasn't real...he was dreaming again. Daryl was in his head because Daryl wasn't really there..._

_"That's right big brother...I ain't here..it's all in yer head...all the guilt you done earned though...that's real...and you don't know where the hell I am cause you ain't bother even lookin'..." Daryl barked at him as he picked up the fire poker and pried the wooden panels off the door. He dropped the poker hard against the floor by Merle's feet. "Worthless..." Daryl shook his head and opened the door. _

_The light blinded Merle as Daryl disappeared into the brightness. He tried to follow him through but found himself outside in the main street of Woodbury in the darkness. His eyes struggled to adjust when he heard a familiar primitive guttural growl. A chill ran down his spine as his heart began to race. Merle heard another and another as the sounds surrounded him. His palms began to sweat and his breathing more shallow. The first walker lunged at him, followed by another and another, surrounding him on all sides. They grabbed and clawed at his skin, piercing it with each scratch as he felt the warmth from his own blood run down his arms and back. Merle cried out for Daryl but it was too late as walker after walker sunk it's teeth into Merle's skin, the pain radiated throughout his body like none he had ever known..._

"DARYL!" Merle shouted as sat straight up in bed. The room was pitch dark and he had no sense of what time it was. He was sweating profusely and his heart felt as if it were going to beat out of his chest. Merle struggled to catch his breath as he soon realized it had all been a horrible dream.

"Merle?" Gwen sat up with him abruptly, her heart raced from the sudden shock. "Are you alright?" She touched his shoulder and noticed he was trembling. She scooted closer as she wrapped her arm around him and touched his cheek, turning his face towards her.

Merle remained silent as Gwen looked at him worried. Finally he cleared his throat and pulled her hand gently away from his face. "I'm fine...just a bad dream is all..."

Gwen didn't look convinced. "You want to tell me about it?"

"No..." Merle stated abruptly. He shrugged away from her and started to get up and get dressed.

"Where are you going?"

"Out..." Merle replied as he pulled on his pants, a t-shirt and a plaid flannel shirt.

"Out? At this hour?...I'm coming with you..." Gwen started to get up.

"NO!...I mean...I'm just gonna get some air...go back to sleep...I'll be back before ya know it." Merle told her.

Gwen reluctantly let him leave but she didn't think she'd be falling back asleep until she knew he was back and alright.

.

Merle stepped out of the hotel and closed his eyes as he stood in the middle of the street. He took a deep breath and slowly opened them. He noticed the moon was bright and lit the street more than it had in his dream as he had his moment of deja vu...luckily without the walkers.

"Merle?...out for a midnight stroll?" The Governor asked as he approached him.

"Somethin' like that I guess..." He replied.

"Nothing wrong I hope..." The Governor remarked.

"Nah...nothin...just can't sleep is all...didn't want to keep Gwen awake." Merle told him.

The Governor smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Come on...looks like you could use a drink..."

.

Merle slammed down two shots of whiskey as The Governor filled his glass again. They sat on the porch steps of where the Governor stayed. He had invited Merle in but Merle had to stay outside...at least for a little while...he felt like the walls were closing in on him.

"Come on Merle...tell me what's the matter...I find you outside in the middle of the night...you won't come inside...tell me...what is it?" The Governor asked.

"Just needed some fresh air...tryin' to clear my head." Merle remarked.

"Clear your head of what? What's troubling you?" The Governor asked.

"Just dreamed 'bout my brother is all...wonderin' where he is...how he's doin'...that's all...nothin' more to say 'bout it." Merle stated.

The Governor took a deep breathed and sighed. "I had brother once myself...not something I talk about much either...full of my own regrets as far as he's concerned Merle..." The Governor drank his own shot of whiskey, pouring himself another. "You can spend so much time questioning what you have or haven't done...wondering if you've made the right decision or not...but no matter how much you questioned your past, you can't change it...everything I do now is try to be the man I should've always been...especially as far as he would've been concerned..."

Merle sat there in silence just listening to the words he spoke. They resonated in his head loudly...Merle never thought of the Governor as someone he shared something in common with but hearing him speak of his own brother made him realize there was more to him than most people of Woodbury knew. He didn't have all the answers like he presented himself to be to the others...he questioned himself and his actions like any other man would.

"Better head back...Gwen's probably worried...don't need her hobblin' out here lookin' for me..." Merle stated as he stood up.

"Of course...I'll see you in a few hours...we'll leave at first light...there's a place a short distance heading north I want to check out..." The Governor stated.

Merle nodded his head and walked back to the hotel.

.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Merle pulled his boots off, dropping them to the floor. He stood up, stripping back down to his boxers and sat back down on the edge. He felt Gwen's arms slip under his and her mouth pressed softly against the side of his neck. He closed his eyes for a moment as she pressed her body against his back as she knelt behind him. She ran her hands firmly across his chest as he couldn't help but get goose bumps from her touch.

"You ok?" She whispered.

Merle just grunted as she wrapped her arms around him from behind and held tightly.

"Lay back down with me...please..." Gwen whispered as she kissed his neck again.

Slowly Merle laid back down with her on his side, tucking his arm under his head and resting his hand against her hip. She faced him and cupped his face in her hands and gently kissed him on the lips. He turned his face away slightly but still held her close as he slipped his hand around to the small of her back.

Gwen could tell something was different with him...something was wrong but she knew Merle well enough to know he wasn't one to share his feelings. She just rested her head just under his chin and slipped her arm under his. Soon Merle noticed from the steadiness of her breathing that she had fallen back asleep. He just lay there closely with her, his head still swimming until the sun slowly began to rise...

.

Gwen woke up in the bed alone...the sun wasn't very high so she knew it must'nt be too late in the morning. She got up, got dressed and grabbed one crutch and made her way to the clinic. She hated feeling so confined by her injured leg. It was getting better, she barely needed to use the one crutch but she knew if she pushed herself too soon she'd regret it. She wanted to be done with the crutches for good. Gwen figured she'd see what Dr. Stevens said about it and maybe he'd give her his blessing to go without them. As soon as she was able she planned to regain the strength she lost.

Gwen limped her way past the bar towards the clinic and hoped she could go by unnoticed by Darlene but she should've known that was only wishful thinking. Darlene stepped outside of the bar and started to walk towards Gwen as she noticed her approach out of the corner of her eye.

"Is it true?..." Darlene asked.

Gwen stopped but took a deep breath before looking at her. "Is what true?"

"You really fuckin' Merle...even after what happened with me?" Darlene asked.

Gwen noticed Darlene's approach was different...after all the other times of just being downright mean Darlene seemed more hurt now than anything else.

"Why do you keep doin' this?...Why do you keep tryin' to put yourself in the middle?" Gwen asked.

Darlene stepped closer as Gwen tensed up, unsure of what she was going to do next. "Because...I love him...it was supposed to be me and him...and I know he loves me...he told me!"

"Come on Darlene...if you're going to lie...at least have it be a lie that's believable...I don't believe Merle Dixon would admit to any woman he loves her even if he did...and if you know him as well as you claim you do...then you know that too..."

"He may not have said it outright but it's what he meant...we woulda been happy if you ain't come along...why don'tcha just go back where ya came from...ain't nobody else want ya here in the first place." Darlene started to raise her voice.

Gwen turned and started back on her way to the clinic...she wanted to get away from Darlene before things escalated but Darlene continued to follow behind her, throwing more insults at her as she walked. Gwen had just about made it to the clinic when she felt her crutch fly out from under her arm. Gwen went crashing to the ground unable to catch herself. Her hands stung against the concrete as she slowly started to get back up. She could hear Darlene laughing in the background.

"Stupid bitch...what's the matter...you're nothin' but a fuckin' cripple anyways..." Darlene laughed.

Gwen staggered back up to her feet and Darlene stepped closer to her, in an attempt to intimidate her more. Gwen didn't say a word and balled her first tightly. Without warning she swung a right hook at Darlene, clocking her hard in the chin, sending her flailing backwards to the ground. Darlene propped herself up on her elbows and shook her head, stunned. Gwen jumped on top of her and grabbed her by the shirt, pulling her face within inches of her own.

"LISTEN HERE BITCH...I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU...DON'T THINK IF YOU KEEP PULLING SHIT THAT I WON'T FUCKIN' KICK YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY UP AND DOWN THIS STREET...CRIPPLED LEG OR NOT!" Gwen shoved her arm back down and got back on her feet. She limped her way without the crutch, just leaving it on the ground and entered the clinic.

Beatrice had rushed to the door as Gwen entered. "What was all that commotion outside? Everything alright?" She asked concerned.

Gwen was fuming mad and she could hardly speak. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Damn Darlene is what...she can't leave well enough alone..."

"Is she still out there?" Beatrice asked as she peered out the window.

"She better hope she's not when I get ready to go back to the hotel..." Gwen remarked.

"Is that your crutch outside? Where's the other? Why aren't you on them...the Governor won't like this." Beatrice stated. The tone in her voice annoyed Gwen even more.

"Fine...I'll go get it...I've just switched to one anyways." Gwen limped outside but luckily Darlene had dragged herself back to the bar. She grabbed the crutch from the ground and headed back inside.

"Come on...let's have Dr. Stevens take a look at that leg...make sure he agrees it's alright for you to be like this...The Governor won't want you walking around without it too soon...plus he won't be happy to hear about you and Darlene fighting again." Beatrice led her to one of the exam rooms.

Gwen had always thought Beatrice was nice enough but one thing that annoyed her the most was how literal she took The Governor's word. She wouldn't give an inch...if he said for her to be on crutches, Beatrice expected her to stay on them until the Governor gave his blessing for her not to be. Beatrice was like that with everything but Gwen didn't see what the big deal was since it was Merle that had gotten them for her in the first place. They didn't seem so concerned before about her being on them when she was first injured...wasn't until she reinjured herself and just couldn't manage to walk that Merle had found it and thought of her. Now suddenly Beatrice wanted to give The Governor all the credit.

"How are you today Gwen..." Dr. Stevens asked.

"Annoyed..." She replied.

"At whom?" Dr. Stevens stepped closer and pushed up her pant's leg up and started to examine her leg.

"Darlene for one...and Beatrice is going to be right behind her on the list if she doesn't quit acting like she's going to tattle on me to the Governor."

Just the mention of his name caused Dr. Stevens' hands to shake. Gwen noticed he pulled away quickly and turned his back to her.

"What did he do to you? To make you so afraid of him?" Gwen asked boldly.

"What?...Uh...nothing...I don't know what you're talking about..." Dr. Stevens took a deep breath as he turned back and began checking her leg again but never making eye contact with her.

"I've noticed it ever since you arrived...not to say I blame you...he's not someone to test...I'm just curious..." Gwen started to speak but Dr. Stevens cut her off.

"JUST STOP!...Just...I'm sorry..." He cleared his throat. "There's nothing to tell...looks like you've done well with taking care of your leg...I don't see any reason why you can't stay off the crutches as long as you feel ready...you've healed nicely...I'll write down some exercises for you to do to regain your strength and flexibility." Dr. Stevens informed her then quickly headed out of the room.

She laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Gwen hadn't expected Dr. Stevens to tell her anything. She wouldn't have in his shoes but she hoped that just by saying something that it would plant the seed that he could trust her if he needed to. Gwen knew she shouldn't stir up trouble as far as the Governor was concerned and she really wasn't intended to but she had always been curious about Dr. Stevens...ever since he arrived so abruptly. Gwen flexed her hand that she had punched Darlene with and rubbed her knuckles as they began to throb. Thankfully she knew she hadn't broken any bones in her hand but it would certainly be bruised. Gwen couldn't help but smile slightly when she thought so would Darlene's face.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Thanks for all the support and feedback so far for this story. I've definitely come to realize that many people wanted to read a Merle story that didn't solely paint him as the bad guy…I'm glad this story is growing with fans and readers. We only have a short time left until the premiere of season 3 and I couldn't be more excited to see how things unfold and work the rest of this story around it. **

Chapter 35

Merle was silent most of the way out of Woodbury. He'd grunt or respond with as few words as possible when asked something. Daryl was weighing heavy on his mind. Merle couldn't help but wonder how he was getting along….was he safe? Did he have enough food….shelter? What had happened when the others returned to camp without him? Was he even still alive? He had to be...Daryl was his only family left….the only family he really ever had and here he was again…finding himself not being there for his brother as much as he should've been.

"Merle!..." The Governor looked back at Merle in the back seat.

"What?" Merle replied.

"Get focused…..I don't need you out there if you're going to be in left field all day…." The Governor quipped. "There's a house just up ahead….there's a fair amount of walkers around the property….if we all hit it at once, there's a good chance we can clear the area and check out the house. Lincoln brought a few rifles with silencers…whoever doesn't get a rifle goes hand to hand…I want to be as quiet as possible."

Merle glanced out the window but quickly did a double take. His surroundings became very familiar causing his stomach to turn.

"Once the outside is clear I want everyone to hold back before entering the house….make sure it's not overrun inside….I don't want any surprises…afterwards there's a few more houses and barns in the area we'll hit….everyone keep your eyes peeled and you're guard up….I don't want any mistakes….everyone needs to make it back tonight." The Governor remarked as they turned down the dirt road leading up towards the house.

Merle's mouth dropped open when he saw the house. Sure enough…there were a good amount of walkers, just like The Governor had said….Merle could only imagine how many more there must've been when Gwen was forced out, if there were that many still remaining. The sound of the Suburban's engine caught the attention of some of the walkers. Lincoln and three other men took aim with their rifles.. Merle, armed with a machete and his bayonet mount on his wrist guard, lined up with the other. Each man with a rifle strategically placed himself within the line. The Governor, armed with an axe gave the signal and they all began to move towards the house. The next few minutes were full of blood, sweat and adrenaline. All Merle could hear was his own heavy breathing as he cut his way through each walker he came across. Merle swung and stabbed at each with all his might, gritting his teeth with the occasional swear word or grunt escaping his throat. He kept his eyes moving at all times to ensure the person next to him was protected, preventing another walker from catching him by surprise. Once they made it to the house a few of the men quickly circled around the perimeter to make sure there weren't any walkers they had missed. Each man, out of breath stopped for a moment to rest at the front porch. Merle put his hand against one of the posts and couldn't help but think about the last time he had been there.

_"You're always welcome back Merle...even if you won't say a proper goodbye..."_

They were the last words out of Gwen's mouth before he walked away from her the first time. He thought he'd never see her again and certainly didn't dream of ever coming back. The only thing driving him at that time was vengeance….revenge against those who wronged him….revenge that always lingered even if it wasn't always at the forefront of his mind. Now, after everything they had been through he couldn't ignore his feelings for her. She made things…..complicated. He thought about how he had found her in the woods and the realization suddenly washed over him that she had left things behind….

"Alright men…are we ready?" The Governor asked.

Merle hated the thought of anyone else entering the house….this was his house with Gwen and he didn't want it being rummaged through by their greedy paws. He couldn't help but feel angry at the thought of it.

"I'll make a b-line for the stairs while y'all hit the first floor….make sure it's clear…" Merle remarked.

The Governor nodded. "Come on let's go."

.

Merle darted up the stairs as the other men took out the few walkers on the first floor. Merle quickly searched each room for walkers and only found one near the bathroom. A stab straight the eye socket did the job as the walker dropped lifeless to the floor. Merle headed straight for the room Gwen had stayed in. He looked around but didn't see anything until he crouched down and looked under the bed. Sure enough, just as he suspected there was a duffel bag with the remaining medication and weapons she left behind. He knew she only packed part of it. When he found her in the woods with only one backpack, he knew she had no choice but to leave some items behind. Merle quickly shoved it back under the bed and just as he was standing up Lincoln was in the doorway.

"Find something?" He asked.

"Nah….just some clothes…I'll grab what's worthwhile from this room…Why don't you go ahead and check the others." Merle ordered.

Merle grabbed an old shopping bag he found in the closet and filled it with clothes. He was hesitant to leave the room, afraid Lincoln might double back behind him when he headed back down the stairs and sat the bag by the door. Lincoln followed a short time after but was empty handed.

"Nothing Lincoln? Not one thing up there?" The Governor asked as the other men were making their way out to the vehicles, each with a few items in their hands, blankets, a radio, books and a few other odds and ends.

"Nah….just clothes and shit…." Lincoln remarked.

"Need I remind you AGAIN that we don't scavenge solely for weapons Lincoln…..we are scavenging for the entire town, clothes, sheets, books, toys and whatever else we can find that we can easily take back to Woodbury to keep everyone feeling like they are home….the necessities of survival are also those in which give people comfort….now go back up there and don't come back empty handed and make it fast, we need to be moving on." The Governor ordered.

"I'll finish up here….y'all go on and I'll catch up…he's right, ain't much up there…leave me a bag and I'll pack it full with whatever's worthwhile….won't take me long and I'll be right behind ya…." Merle stated.

The Governor looked blankly at Merle for a moment. "Alright...we'll be just up the hill behind the house starting with the barn then making our way to the house next to it…..keep your eyes open." The Governor turned and exited the house.

Merle felt a sense of relief wash over him. They had no clue what he had left upstairs. As soon as they drove off Merle rushed upstairs and pulled the duffel bag out from under the bed. He headed back downstairs looking for a place to hide it. Walking over to the corner of the living room by the fireplace, he grabbed the fireplace poker and pried up a few of the floorboards, shoving the duffel bag inside and pounded the boards back in place. These things belonged to him and Gwen and he'd be damned if he'd let anyone else get their hands on it. He moved as quickly as he could, dragging the body to the outside of the house. He didn't want the stench of their rotting corpses to infect anymore of the house that it already head. "Son of a bitch..." He remarked as he dragged the last one out. Merle struggled to catch his breath as he glanced up at the house one more time.

.

Merle caught up with the group and took what they could from the other houses. They even came across the box van he and Gwen arrived there in but there was nothing specific to link them to it so The Governor and his men chalked it all up to another abandoned vehicle. The only thing The Governor did complain about was the lack of fuel they found but Merle had been fully aware they wouldn't find any.

As they headed back to Woodbury, Merle couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if Gwen had never left that house and had tried to fight off the walkers. If she fell victim to them, he would've found whatever was left of her body or worse….she would've been one of the walkers they killed. He felt nauseous just thinking how unprotected he had left her even if he hadn't realized it at the time. Merle knew deep down the happiness he felt with her wouldn't last.….Daryl was right…he wasn't made for that kind of life and he knew it. But for now he could pretend…at least for a little while and enjoy his time with her while it was still safe. What he did know for sure was that no matter what….he wouldn't make the same mistake twice and leave her unprotected again.

.

They made it back to Woodbury just before dark. Merle walked into the hotel room hoping Gwen would be the first thing he saw but all he discovered were her books spread out on her side of the bed and the room empty. Merle sighed heavily but made his way to the bathroom and took off his bloody, dirt covered clothes. He turned the shower on full blast and waited until the mirror fogged up before stepping in. The hot water against his sore muscles felt good and relaxing. He leaned against the tile wall with his forearms up near his head and rested his head against his arms. He closed his eyes as the water washed down his back, the steady pulse massaging its way down his body.

_Whatcha think ya gonna do big brother?….go back to that house one day…fix it back up and live happily ever after? God….what's wrong with you? She's done turned ya into a pussy…..that's what….._

"Why don't you shut the fuck up? Only Dixon that's a pussy is you Darylina!" Merle barked spitting the water that ran down his face out of his mouth. Merle looked around, slightly disoriented and realized he had dozed off for a moment.

"Damn little brother…ya makin' me lose my mind…." Merle remarked as he laughed at himself. "What the hell….dreamin' fucked up shit and talkin' to myself….those men in their little white coats are gonna cart me off if I keep this shit up…..ya hear that? Naw…it ain't being pussy…..she's just different…if ya met her ya'd see….ya'd see she's different….don't try changing me none or make me somethin' I'm not….she's just….with me….it's different is all…you'll see….."

Merle finished washing the blood and dirt from his body and turned off the water just as it was turning cold. He grabbed the towel from the rack and dried himself off. He slipped on a pair of boxers and climbed into bed. It was still early but he was exhausted from not sleeping much the night before. The day's events were tiring on their own let alone from the lack of sleep he was already suffering from. He was about to doze off when he heard the door open. Merle struggled to sit up as Gwen entered the room. She smiled softly at him as she limped her way over to her side of the bed. She pushed her books to the side and sat next to him. She leaned across him and supported herself with one arm as she faced him.

"It's awfully early…tryin' to catch up on your beauty sleep?" Gwen asked sarcastically.

Merle looked into her eyes and smiled. "Don't think there's enough of that in the world fer me…."

Gwen flinched slightly, taking her weight off her hand and clutched it with the other.

"What's wrong?" Merle asked, noticing.

"Oh….it's nothing really….just my hand's sore…" Gwen remarked.

Merle reached and gently took her hand and pulled it close to his chest. "Well let's see…." Immediately he noticed the bruising around her knuckles and became worried. "What the hell is this?"

Gwen smirked and grunted at him.

"Don't pull that shit with me….what happened?" Merle demanded.

"You do it all the time." Gwen laughed slightly.

The amusement had left Merle's face completely. "I'm gone for a day and you show up with bruises…nah…we ain't havin' this…tell me…"

"I punched Darlene….." Gwen stated as she pulled her hand away.

"WHAT?" Merle asked shocked and started to laugh. "Oh Jesus!"

"This is really all your fault you know….she won't give it a rest…I got fed up with her trying to fuck with me and I let her have it….so laugh it up all you want but it's not my fault." Gwen couldn't help but be a little annoyed with Merle finding it so amusing.

"No baby…I don't mean to laugh…." Merle stated as he continued laughing. "Ok…so I do but that ain't the point…damn I wish I coulda seen the look on her face when you clocked her good! Damn…..never thought you'd fight another woman for me!" Merle stated proudly.

"Oh no….don't even go there Merle…." Gwen cut her eyes at him.

"Come 'ere sugar….give ole Merle some lovin'….you done earned it." He laughed as he pulled her into his chest.

Gwen turned her face away as he tried to kiss her "No…I'm mad at you…" Gwen teased.

"No you ain't….I seen ya mad at me and this sure as shit ain't it….quit playin'…..I had a hard day at work baby….need ya to make me feel better." Merle reached around and grabbed her by the back of the leg and pulled her onto his lap. Gwen smiled and leaned in to kiss him but he pulled his head back slightly away from her.

"What?" Gwen asked confused.

Merle didn't say a word. He cupped her cheek in his hand then slowly traced his thumb down to her jaw and across her chin just staring at her. The smile left Gwen's face and become solemn. Merle lightly traced his thumb across the edge of her lower lip. He couldn't get over how lucky he was that she wanted him. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly. As he ran his hand through the back of her hair his kiss became more passionate and intense. Gwen could only think of one other moment when a kiss from Merle had so much meaning behind it….

Gwen could feel her face flush from the intensity of his kiss. He pulled away from her gently and tugged at her clothes.

"Just give me a minute…." She said softly as she kissed him quickly and then climbed off the bed.

Merle watched her as she piled up her book and rested them on the dresser. She rushed over to the bathroom and closed the door. Merle could hear the water in the sink running as he settled back down into the bed.

Gwen hadn't been in the bathroom even five minutes when she came back out in just her tank top and underwear to find Merle snoring heavily.

She climbed into bed and tucked the blanket up higher against his chest and softly kissed his lips. "Serves me right huh?" She whispered to him as she softly smiled.

She got back up and grabbed one of the books off the dresser and curled up next to Merle with it. She paused for a moment and thought to herself. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty. _Is it wrong to want to things to stay like this when the world is falling apart around us?..._


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

The next morning Gwen woke up before Merle. Normally he was always the first one up but even after she showered, he was still sleeping soundly. Gwen headed out to get something to eat and figured she'd bring something back for him later.

She made it past the bar without drawing out Darlene which was a much needed relief. She wasn't in the mood to deal with her and wanted things done with.

"Gwen…." She heard a voice call out and turned to look behind her, seeing the Governor on her heels.

"Please….can I speak with you a moment…." He asked.

"Sure…" Gwen replied.

"You heading to breakfast I suppose? Then if you don't mind, I join you." The Governor remarked as he walked along beside her.

Gwen just nodded her head, anxious to see what the Governor wished to discuss with her as they walked.

"How's Merle? I know it was a long day yesterday…." The Governor inquired.

"He's sleeping in…figured he needed it…otherwise he's doing well." Gwen replied.

"Good…I also see you're doing much better…no crutches…that's a big improvement. I suppose you'll be ready to start on scavenges with us in no time, put your recent studying to test and good use. I'm excited to see what you have to offer." The Governor gently took hold of her arm and guided her over to a bench on the sidewalk in front of one of the building and motioned for her to sit down. "Please…let's discuss something for a moment…."

Gwen's stomach began to turn, dreading the unknown of what he was about to say.

"I know we've discussed your duties somewhat for pulling your weight in this town…I think having someone out on the road with us during various assignments with medical knowledge and skills will be very beneficial to us….the problem is it's not necessarily a daily task…just like how Merle splits his time between scavenging and guarding the gate. I was hoping that you might be willing to take over the running of the bar in the evenings….besides….alcohol can be seen as a medicinal in itself at times." The Governor chuckled slightly and waited for a response from her.

"But…Darlene runs the bar…." Gwen stated somewhat confused.

A smirk came across the Governor's face that gave Gwen the chills. "She did…..but she's decided to move on…."

"I don't understand….since when?" Gwen asked.

The Governor took a deep breath and slowly let it back out. "I spoke with Beatrice yesterday evening and she told me what happened….I'm truly sorry and very thankful you weren't injured but it required me to have my own discussion with Darlene…..I've spoken to her multiple times about leaving you and Merle alone but we've come to an agreement now that I think will make most everyone happy."

Suddenly Gwen felt as if she couldn't catch her breath. Something in the tone of his voice made her want to run full speed back to the hotel to Merle but she just sat there quietly and listened.

"Darlene has family in Savannah….I provided her with supplies, a vehicle and a weapon so she can attempt to reconnect with her kin there….I think it will do her good…she's made it clear she doesn't belong here and there's nothing here for her any longer." He informed her.

"When does she leave?" Gwen asked.

"She already did….at first light….so you see…I have a bar with no keeper…and a town's member with no job." The Governor smiled at her. "What do you say? There's an apartment above the bar…you and Merle could move in there…have a little more privacy…it's needs some fixing up but I think we can all pitch in and make it feel like a home for you both."

"Didn't Darlene live there?" Gwen asked confused.

"Actually no…she kind of fell into managing the bar herself…she stayed in her sister's home down a ways….her sister was one of the first here to fall to the ill when this all first started. It's what brought Darlene to Woodbury in the first place." He informed her.

"Can I think about it? I mean….I would like to discuss it with Merle if that's alright." Gwen replied.

"Certainly…just let me know something by tonight." The Governor stood up and started on his way again.

Gwen suddenly lost her appetite for breakfast. She found herself slowly walking back to the hotel. Merle was slowly waking up as she entered the room. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her boots off, dropping them in the floor.

"Well if ya comin' back to bed ya got too many clothes on…" Merle teased as he leaned up behind her and kissed her neck.

Merle ran his hand up her back but could feel the tension in her body. "What's the matter with ya?"

Gwen turned back to face him and he immediately noticed how pale she looked. "I don't think I feel so good…I think I just want to lie down for a little." Gwen undid her pants and stood as she dropped them to the floor and took off her sweater, dropping that as well. She crawled back into bed as Merle scooted back on his side, looking concerned and she laid on her side facing him.

He pulled the blanket up to her shoulder and moved closer, facing her. He pressed his hand against her forehead. "Ya ain't gettin' sick are ya?"

"No….I just….I don't know…" Gwen didn't even know where to begin. The incident with Darlene the night before seemed like a big joke but now Gwen felt uneasy, even a little afraid.

"Don't clam up on me now…tell me… what's goin' on?" Merle asked as he slipped his arm around her waist.

"Governor asked me to take over the bar…said we could live in the apartment above it…after it's fixed up." Gwen started to speak.

Merle looked at her confused. "Darlene runs the bar….don't think she's gonna wanna let that go…'specially to you."

"The Governor said that he and Darlene had a long talk after Beatrice told him about our fight yesterday and that they both decided she didn't belong in Woodbury anymore….he said he sent her on her way to find her family in Savannah. Claims he let her take a vehicle and supplies….the works….says she left this morning first thing….that she won't be bothering us anymore."

Merle rolled back over on to his back and rested his hand against his forehead and stared at the ceiling looking even more confused than before but he remained quiet.

"You're thinking the same thing I am aren't you?...He doesn't let anyone leave that easily, let alone take valuable supplies and a vehicle…." Gwen propped herself up to her elbow and watched Merle's reaction.

"If that's what he says then that's what we're goin' with….ain't for us to question…" Merle stated as he kept his eyes on the ceiling.

"You can't be serious….Merle….since when do you go along so easily with things?" Gwen couldn't help but be annoyed.

"It ain't that…" Merle snapped back at her. "It's about mindin' yer own and not stickin' yer nose in where it don't belong…she's outta our lives…just be glad for that…"

"How can I be glad about that when my gut tells me this is something far worse than her just skippin' town to go visit the kin folk! Since when did Darlene strike you as the selfless person to risk her own safety to venture out into this hell hole of a world to find her long lost family…ALONE? He did something to her and he's come up with this story to cover it up…I just know it." She told him.

"SHUT UP…SHUT YER MOUTH RIGHT NOW…DON'T WANNA HEAR NOTHIN' LIKE THAT FROM YA AGAIN…YA HEAR ME?" Merle turned back to his side to face her and grabbed her roughly by the arm, jerking her close to him.

"Don't you understand Merle? If I hadn't fought back with her…Beatrice may not have noticed…she ran and told the Governor the first chance she got and apparently that was his last straw with her….if I hadn't…" Gwen couldn't help but tear up…as much as she disliked Darlene she didn't want to be responsible for something bad happening to her.

Merle cupped her face in his hand. "Don't….it ain't yer fault…Darlene made her own bed on that one….ain't nothin' anyone coulda done to change it so let it go….just try to forget about it…but ya got to keep your head down on this one…if the Governor did do somethin' he ain't wantin' nobody to know about it and that's gonna be how it stays….otherwise I guarantee he's gonna do far worse to whoever questions it and I'll be damned if I let you put yerself in danger over that woman…"

"But Merle….everything she did was because she loved you….she wanted you back and all I was to her was the person that took you away from her….how can you be so cold about it? As much as she pissed me off I can't say I blame her."

Merle pushed away from her roughly. He got up and started stomping around the room as he grabbed fresh clothes from the dresser.

"God dammit woman!..." Merle barked as he pulled on a pair of pants but left them undone.

Gwen sat up in the bed. "Why are you getting mad at me? Why doesn't this bother you? And the Merle I know doesn't just blindly go along with things like you're trying to do...what's gotten into you?"

Merle angrily grabbed the pile of books from the dresser and threw them across the room. He marched over to her side of the bed, pulled back the blanket and yanked her by the arm out of bed and onto her feet. "GET YER ASS UP! COME 'ERE!" He ordered as he started to pull her over towards the window.

"OW MERLE!...YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Gwen yelled as she tried to jerk her arm away but he just gripped her tighter. She struggled to keep her feet underneath her as he pushed her onto the window seat, facing outside.

Merle stood against the back of her. One arm around her waist and his hand still gripping her arm. Gwen's hands were against the window, keeping him from pressing her completely against it.

"NOW...TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE..." Merle shouted back at her.

"WHAT?...I DON'T UNDERSTAND...WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" Gwen shouted back but her voice was shaky as she fought back tears.

Merle took a deep breath, lowering the tone of his voice. "I said...tell me what you see..."

"I...I...I don't know...buildings...people...what Merle?" Gwen bit her lip as the tears started to stream down her face.

"Now tell me what ya don't see..." Merle stated.

Gwen just shook her head as she continued to cry. She didn't know what he was wanting from her.

Merle released her arm and backed up slightly. He turned her around to face him. "Geeks...walkers...ain't one in sight...and their ain't gonna be...not here...you know how it is...you and me both...fought our way outta Atlanta...how many of 'em you killed? I know I done lost count...Sleepless nights...fightin' for food...not knowin' where ya gonna be from day to day...it gets old...all the strugglin' and fightin'...constantly lookin' over yer shoulder...is that the life ya wanna go back to?"

"Of course not." Gwen replied.

"Governor might have a lot of rules but one thing he ain't never tried to do is change me...he done took me in... here in this town when I ain't had nothin'...trusted me to make decisions...didn't talk to me like I was just another dumb ass redneck...now I may not like how he do everythin'...hell I don't even know how much I really trust him...but one thing I do know is I ain't ready to give up this place yet for a life on the run again not when I got you I'm tryin' to keep safe..." Merle cupped her face gently in his hand as he spoke.

Gwen wrapped her arms around Merle and pulled him close. She clung to him tightly and closed her eyes when she felt his arms around her. She knew he was right...there wasn't a better alternative. Here they were safe from the outside world. They could have time together, just the two of them without worry. She wanted to enjoy their time together and not worry about anything else. Look at all they had been through just to be where they were now...she wouldn't give that up for anything. Even with knowing that Gwen still couldn't help but feel they were both selling their soul to the devil.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thanks for all the support and please keep the reviews coming! You're feedback is very helpful to my writing and also helps keep me inspired. **

Chapter 37

"Don't worry...it will feel like home in no time I'm sure..." The Governor remarked as he stood at the entrance of the apartment above the bar.

Gwen just looked around in silence. Dust covered everything. The only furniture was a small kitchen table. The musty smell was almost overwhelming.

"Damn...don't look like nobody's been up here in ages...smells like it too." Merle remarked.

"Guess we'll need to air it out for a day or two..." Gwen stated as she walked over and attempted to raise a window without success.

The Governor reached behind her and raised it for her. "I'm sure Nancy would be happy to help you fix up the place...Merle's got gate duty in a bit..." The Governor turned and headed back down the stairs and exited.

"Home sweet home Sugarplum!" Merle remarked as he slipped his arms around her waist from behind and started kissing her neck.

Gwen laughed a little but part of her wanted to cry...she never thought she'd miss the hotel...at least not until she set foot in there. "This place is a dump...". The site of the place was depressing and the guilt of Darlene's disappearance still weighed heavy on her. She wasn't thrilled in the least to be there.

"Better than sleepin' out in the woods with one eye open..." Merle commented as he continued to kiss her neck, working his way to the other side.

"Come on Merle...stop..." Gwen gently pulled away from him and headed towards the stairs.

"Come on baby...don'tcha wanna christen our new place?" Merle laughed.

Gwen just rolled her eyes at him and headed down the stairs. "I'm going to see what Nancy has for cleanin' supplies..."

Merle looked around the apartment...it was a dump. It was basically one giant room...a kitchen area with linoleum flooring and a small table in the middle on the left and a place large enough for a bed on the right. Merle leaned against the table and stumbled a little when it wobbled. He noticed the bathroom was just off to the right and just off the kitchen area next to the entrance way was a walk-in closet. The only good thing were all the windows around the room. It helped keep the place from feeling like just a giant box. He knew Gwen didn't want to move in there let alone take over the bar but Merle had convinced her to do it and she reluctantly agreed. Merle ran his finger across the counter in the kitchen then brushed off his finger on his pants, leaving a line in the dust.

.

Merle stood on his post on the gate and stared out into the darkness. He could see the light on upstairs above the bar. Gwen had hung something to cover the windows hours ago. Every now and then he caught a glimpse of her silhouette working hard trying to clean up the place. Merle zipped up his coat as high as possible. The chill in the air stung against his face as he bounced slightly, trying to stay warm.

"See anythin' Merle?" Lincoln called up to him.

"Nah...quiet night so far..." Merle replied as he started to climb down. He passed the rifle off to Lincoln as Lincoln started to climb up.

"Heard you and Gwen are movin' above the bar...guess Darlene's leavin' worked out good for both of ya..." Merle could detect a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Merle asked.

"Nothin'...just sayin'." He replied.

Merle stood for a moment staring up at the post but slowly turned away and headed towards the bar. He walked in and grabbed a bottle of liquor and two shot glasses from behind the bar and headed over to the door marked "PRIVATE". He opened the door and headed up the stairs. He couldn't believe his own eyes as he stood there at the top. The place was still empty of furniture but it was spotless. Gwen had hung curtains...he guessed Nancy had dug them up from somewhere. All mismatched but he didn't care about that. They moved gently back and forth from the breeze coming through the open windows. There was still a slight musty smell in the air but a far cry from what it had been. He never expected it to be as clean as it was and he could've sworn he could now eat off the kitchen floor. Something he wouldn't have even dared to do before...five second rule or not. Over to the right Gwen had laid a bunch of blankets and pillows on the floor. They were now bed-less but she had made the effort to make up a space for them that still impressed Merle, not that it took much anyhow. He sat the bottle and two glasses on the table and pushed on the table slightly. It didn't wobble. He squatted and looked underneath and saw that the bad leg had been reinforced. "Well I'll be damned..."

He could hear the water running in the bathroom but it cut off shortly thereafter. Merle quietly crept to the other side of the bathroom door and waited for it to open.

Gwen opened the door and stepped into the room with just a towel wrapped around her. She shivered from the cold air coming through the still open windows. Merle grabbed her from behind and she screamed. Her body tensed up at first but hearing Merle's laugh she relaxed and tried her best to reach around to smack at him.

"Dammit Merle...don't be sneakin' up on me like that..." Gwen fussed at him.

Merle pulled her to all fours on the floor with him then quickly ground his hips against her from behind. "Now we're talkin'...damn woman...ya out did yerself...and I'm gonna show you how much I appreciate it..." He started kissing down her back.

"Merle...stop...I'm serious..." Gwen pulled away from him and turned to face him. "Quit goofin' off..."

Merle paused for a moment and sighed deeply. "Oh I ain't goofin'...I intend to fuck ya good tonight..." Merle started to climb on top of her but she pushed him back. Frustrated he sat back in a kneeling position in front of her.

"What?..." He folded his arms across his chest and waited for her to speak.

Gwen got up and grabbed some clothes out of her bag and started to get dressed. "It's freezing in here."

"Aw Now come on...I'm tryin' to help fix that...whatcha puttin' all that on for?" Merle slightly whined.

"Merle Dixon...are you pouting?" Gwen laughed as she put her boots on.

"No...shut up...alright maybe a little." Merle started to get up.

Gwen finished drying her hair with the towel then tossed it over the shower rod. She stepped back out into the main room and looked at Merle who was just standing before her looking defeated.

"Well...come on..." She motioned as she started to head towards the stairs.

"Where're we goin'?" Merle asked.

"Back to Nancy's...she said we could stay another night...give this place a chance to air out some more before we stay here...it's too cold to sleep in here with the windows open...I'm freezin' as it is...besides I worked my ass off today and I'm sure as shit not sleepin' on the floor after a day like that."

"But..." Merle couldn't help but be a little disappointed...he was looking forward to having his way with her but he could see the only thing she would be having was a good night's sleep. "Ya gonna owe me...ya hear me?" Merle called out to her as she headed down the stairs.

"I hear ya alright..." Gwen yelled back.

.

Gwen woke up the next morning alone in the hotel room. She hadn't bothered to get undressed and had fallen asleep in her clothes. They now felt uncomfortable and restrictive but she got up and straighten them out and started to put on her boots.

"Come on...I got a surprise for ya..." Merle stated as he came busting into the room.

Gwen couldn't help but he startled as he came tearing in. He grabbed her by the arm and started to drag her out of the room. She hadn't finished lacing her other boot as they rushed out of the hotel.

'Where are we going?" Gwen asked as he led her to a pick up truck.

"Come on...hop in...you'll see..." Merle said proudly as he got into the driver's side of the truck and Gwen climbed into the passenger side. He struggled to shift into drive with his left hand and headed towards the gate. He laid on the horn a few times, the gate opened and Merle pulled through as they headed down the road.

"Where are we going? What's going on?" Gwen asked looking concerned.

"I told the Governor this morning we needed some things...thought we could go get some from one of the houses we've scavenged already...said we could take the truck and get what we need..." Merle told her.

"By ourselves?...He trusts us to do that?" Gwen asked.

"Course he do...you already done proved once you'd come back and I gave him my word..." Merle replied.

Gwen chuckled slightly and shook her head.

Merle slammed on the brakes hard forcing Gwen against the dash.

"DAMN MERLE!" Gwen caught herself with her hands.

"What ya laughin' at?...Ya think my word ain't worth nothin?" Merle said angrily.

"I didn't say that..." Gwen stated as she scooted back into the seat.

"Ya didn't have to...ya done laughed like my word is some kinda joke to ya...that how ya really feel 'bout me?" Merle stared at her.

Gwen looked at Merle and could see the hurt and anger on his face. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that I swear..." Gwen slipped over closer to him in the seat, reached up and touched his cheek. "Really...I'm sorry..."

Merle leaned back and faced the road again and started to drive. They didn't speak much the rest of the way but when Merle turned down a dirt road she started to realize where they were going.

"Merle?..." Gwen didn't know what else to say. She was shocked when she realized where he was taking her.

"Told ya it was a surprise..." Merle smiled as he pulled up in front of the house.

Gwen could see the dead walkers strewn throughout the area surrounding the house. Merle stepped out of the truck and walked around to the passenger side but Gwen just sat there stunned.

"Come on...it's ok...we done came here the other day and cleared it out...ain't no more walkers..." Merle remarked as he opened the passenger door.

Hesitantly Gwen stepped out still looking all around her as she walked with Merle up to the house. Merle pulled the firearm from the back of his waistband.

"Just in case..." Merle stated as they entered the house.

Gwen followed Merle from room to room as they made sure no walkers had wandered back in but it was clear.

Gwen stopped in the middle of the upstairs hallway. "Merle...why did you bring me here?"

Merle turned around and stared at her confused for a moment. "Aren't ya glad to be back here?...Thought you'd be happy..."

"What's the point?..." Gwen asked.

"The point?...the point is it's still here...it ain't over run no more...thought you'd be glad about that..." Merle told her as he walked closer to her.

"Well...I am I guess...but..." Gwen started to speak but stopped herself.

"Besides...thought ya might like to bring a bed back from here...thought you'd like that..." Merle told her. "I know you feel bad 'bout how we ended up at the bar...thought maybe somethin' from here would make it better somehow..."

Gwen couldn't help but feel touched by Merle's gesture...it was simple...a little strange...but sweet...especially for Merle.

"Ok..." Gwen told him as she forced out a smile. The truth was just being there made her a little sad. It made her want things to be like they were before when it was just the two of them there but no matter how much a part of her wanted to stay there, she knew they were safer in Woodbury. They wouldn't be safe if they stayed there...from walkers or the Governor.

Gwen's eyes widened when she remembered what she left behind. "Oh my God!" She proclaimed as she rushed into the bedroom, knelt down and looked under the bed. She sighed in disappointment. "He found it didn't he? When y'all were out scavenging houses..."

"Nope...I got to it first...hid it...here in the house." Merle told her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Gwen stood up in front of him. "Why did you do that?...If you had been caught..."

"But I wasn't..." Merle pulled her onto the bed with him, causing her to straddle his lap. He pushed her hair away from her face and ran his hand through the back of her hair, pulling her face closer to his. "I did it for us...just in case one day we can come back here for good..."

"You'd leave Woodbury?" Gwen asked surprised.

"If ya trust me to stay in Woodbury for now...mind yer own...I promise...when the time's right..." Merle told her.

It was the first time Merle had ever even mentioned having an inkling of leaving but Gwen couldn't help but feel relieved by it. Being in Woodbury was bittersweet and as much as she liked the security she never thought she'd feel 100% right being there. Not with all the secrets that seemed to surround the Governor. Secrets that no one dared to question.

Merle kissed Gwen and leaned back with her in his arms on the bed. Gwen sat up and tucked one side of her hair behind her ear and smiled. "You wanna do this here? She asked as he rocked his hips up into hers.

Merle grinned as he started to run his hand up her shirt. "Ya owe me from last night...besides...gotta make sure we pick the right bed to bring back..."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Gwen stared up at the house as Merle finished securing the bed in the back of the truck. He had shown her where he hid the weapons and medicine under the floorboard. She still couldn't get over the fact that he did seem willing to leave Woodbury….at least someday. Gwen knew there was no better option at the moment but having the house being walker free again and knowing it was there as a refuge if they needed it was somehow comforting.

Merle slipped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

"Ya ready to go?" He asked.

"Not really….but I guess we should." She turned her head towards him and smiled. They both started to walk back to the truck as Merle slapped her ass hard causing her to jump.

"Dammit Merle!" She fussed at him as she tried to look angry and not smile but a slight smirk still crept on her face.

Merle just laughed devilishly as he climbed into the truck and they started to head on their way to Woodbury. It felt strange leaving again. Things had changed so much since she last left. She couldn't help but remember how hopeless she felt the last time, not knowing where she was going or if she could survive. She never dreamed that Merle would've found her but she was thankful he did. She thought back to when she had first found him in the pharmacy. His wrist a bloodied stump and how she almost left him behind. How would things have turned out if she had? Would she still even be alive at that moment...would Merle?

"What's got you so quiet?" Merle asked.

Gwen looked over at Merle and smiled. "Nothing…..just thinking about things….you know….you never really talk about your brother….Daryl right?"

Merle cut his eyes at her but kept his head straight ahead. "Why ya askin' 'bout him?"

"Just curious….do you think he's still alive after all this time?" She asked.

Merle paused for a moment then cleared his throat. "He's a Dixon ain't he?"

Merle started to squirm slightly and kept his eyes on the road. He didn't want to talk about Daryl with her. He had enough feelings of guilt for not finding him, he knew talking about him would just make it worse.

"Why don't you want to talk about him?...I know he means a lot to you…" Gwen asked.

"Cause I don't alright? There ain't nothin' to say….he was with me and now he ain't…..I ain't gonna sit here and get all weepy 'bout it..." Merle snapped.

Gwen took that as her cue to stop. She could see Merle was getting agitated and just saying more would make things worse. The rest of the trip back to Woodbury they both remained silent.

.

Merle and Gwen managed to get the bed upstairs into the apartment and reassembled. Gwen plopped herself on her back across the width of the bed, tired from the move. Merle walked into the kitchen and pulled the liquor bottle out of the cabinet and pulled himself a drink.

"Go easy on that stuff Merle….you know how the Governor keeps tabs on how much liquor is here. He wants to make sure there's always enough to go around. " Gwen remarked.

Merle gulped down the shot then poured himself another. "Fuck 'em"

"Merle come on…I'm serious….you know there not but so much alcohol here…Governor wants a two drink limit a night….at least until y'all scavenge for more….he wants me to reopen the bar tomorrow night so people can start _socializing _again….. I'd have a lot to explain if suddenly it's all dried up.

"Two drink limit is bullshit…..ain't that part of the benefit of fuckin' the bar maid? I get as much alcohol as I want?" Merle snapped at her again.

Gwen sat up on the bed and glared at Merle. She got up and walked into the kitchen area and grabbed the bottle from the counter and turned to head down the stairs.

"Darlene let me have as much as I wanted..." He quipped. The truth was Darlene hadn't...she applied the same rules that Gwen was trying to. The Governor saw the bar as a place for people to help things stay "normal". Money was useless at this point. There was no beer or alcohol suppliers left. The alcohol they had was alcohol rounded up from homes, from places they scavenged and from time to time, moonshine from one of the locals. There had to be a limit or they would very quickly run out and that was one thing the Governor didn't want to happen. He knew his remark would piss off Gwen if she wasn't pissed already. He didn't know why he was trying to pick a fight with her but he just couldn't seem to stop himself.

Gwen looked back over her shoulder at him. "Are you serious Merle? Are you really going to go there with me?"

"What?...Can't handle me all of a sudden..." Merle laughed a little but started in again. "Ya gonna start begin stingy on me now? What's next? Ya ain't gonna put out no more...maybe I did pick the wrong woman..."

Merle could easily see the hurt on Gwen's face as she stood there, pale faced and silent. He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth but he knew he couldn't unsay them. He just stood there, leaning against the counter and waited for her to go off on him.

Gwen just shook her head and headed downstairs with the bottle. Merle headed over to the bed and sat down. _I don't even know why I said that..._ he thought to himself. The fact that she didn't yell at him bothered him even more than if she had. _Cause yer a God damn asshole...that's why... _Merle got up, grabbed his jacket and headed downstairs. Gwen was behind the bar when he walked down but he didn't say another word to her, he just left.

As soon as he left, Gwen couldn't help but burst into tears. She sat on the floor behind the bar and just cried. Merle had been harsh and cruel with her and she didn't understand what on earth had just happened. She thought things were going well between them, it was the one thing she didn't worry about. Gwen replayed the days events in her head and suddenly realized..._Daryl... _It was the only thing out of the ordinary she mentioned.

Suddenly, someone banging on the counter startled her. She wiped the tears from her face and stood up. Lincoln was at the other end of the bar sitting on one of the stools.

"Lincoln...I didn't hear you come in..." Gwen remarked as she walked down to greet him.

"Sorry...did I startle ya?" He asked.

"It's fine...but Merle isn't here..." She told him.

"I ain't lookin' for Merle...how's 'bout a drink barkeep?" Lincoln asked.

"The Governor said for me not to open the bar until tomorrow...I put a sign on the door earlier..." She told him as she pointed towards the front of the bar.

"Come on...ya can bend the rules a little...I had a hard day..." Lincoln told her.

"If I give you a drink tonight you can only have one tomorrow..." Gwen told him.

"That works for me...ain't got no preference...just give me whatever" He replied.

Gwen reached behind the bar and grabbed the open bottle Merle had already gotten into and poured him a shot. to her surprise he just sat there and stared at it for a moment. He started to pick it up but instead just turned the glass slowly in a circle on the bar.

"Ya know...Darlene was a good woman...maybe to you she ain't but she was..." He remarked as he stared at his glass.

_For fuck's sake...I really don't need this right now. _Gwen thought to herself but she just stood there and listened.

"She only had eyes for Merle though...don't know why...he did nothin' but treat her like shit...is that how he treats you?" Lincoln asked as he finally picked up the glass and waved it gently under his nose as he breathed in deeply...stll waiting to drink it.

"He treats me just fine..." Gwen replied coldly. She didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Yep...only had eyes for Merle...I thought for sure once he moved on with you she might give someone else a shot but nope...still Merle...only Merle...and now look where that got her..." He gulped down the shot and slammed the glass back onto the bar so hard Gwen was shocked it didn't break. He cut his eyes up at her and motioned for her to come closer.

Gwen just stared wide eyed and silent at him.

"Come 'ere..." He said gently as he motioned for her to lean forward. "Come on..." Lincoln looked from side to side as if he was making sure they were alone. "I ain't gonna bite...gotta tell ya somethin' " He whispered.

Hestitantly Gwen leaned forward on the bar, resting her arms on the counter as she took a deep breath.

Before she even had time to react, Lincoln grabbed both of her wrists pulling her hard against the bar. He pinned her arms at the wrist down with one hand, reached up and grabbed the back of her hair and yanked hard as he held his grip. He leaned his face in so close to hers,they were almost touching. The strong smell of whiskey on his breath as he began to speak harshly.

"Seems to me the only person that benefitted from Darlene leaving was you...kinda suspicious if ya ask me cause I know she ain't got no kin folk in Savannah...common mistake considerin' that's where she came from before returning to Woodbury...don't care if that's the story the Gov is givin' or not... I done known her my whole life so I know...and I know you had somethin' to do with her disappearin'...why the Gov is coverin' fer ya I don't know but believe you me...I'm gonna find out what ya did with her...and one of these days yer gonna be real sorry..." Lincoln shoved her away as he released her. He got up off his stool and started back towards the door.

"I don't know what you think but I had nothing to do with her leaving Linc...but you put your hands on me like that again and you're the one that's gonna be sorry." Gwen barked at him the whole time fearing her voice would crack but it didn't.

Lincoln just waved his hand in the air but didn't turn back. Once he was gone, Gwen poured herself a stiff one and drank it down. Her whole body was shaking. She wanted to lock the door but didn't think Merle had taken his key. Quickly she ran upstairs and looked on the counter and saw both sets of keys still there.

"Dammit..." As much as Merle had pissed her off, all she wanted was for him to be there with her at that moment...asshole or not...he made her feel safe and the run in with Lincoln had shook her. She stared to turn to head back downstairs and saw a figure standing in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. Gwen felt like she jumped completely out of her own skin as she gasped, grabbing hold of her chest. Quickly she realized it was Merle but the shock of it made her legs feel as if they would give out on her and she dropped to her knees on the floor.

Merle rushed towards her and knelt down next to her. "Gwennie...what's wrong?" He asked concerned as he reached for her.

Gwen just shook her head and took a deep breath. She blew it out hard and took another deep breath before she spoke. "Is the door downstairs locked?"

"Yeah...locked it when I came back in...what's wrong with ya? Ya sick?" Merle asked still not understanding what was happening with her. Suddenly he remembered passing Lincoln on his way back in. His eyes widened and he could feel the anger building up inside him. "Was Lincoln in here? Did he do something?"

"No..." Gwen stated as she slowly rose to her feet with Merle standing with her. "I'm fine...you just startled me."

Merle just looked at her almost as if he was waiting for her to say more but when she didn't he finally spoke. "That fucker made a smart ass comment to me before...if he says somethin' to ya...ya best tell me cause I'll teach him a thing or too about..."

Gwen quickly interupted Merle before he could finish speaking. "Merle stop...it's fine...nothing happened...Lincoln came in for a drink...had one and left...the last thing I need is you running around pickin' fights with everyone..." The truth was Gwen knew how hot headed Merle could be and he had already picked a fight with her. If the Governor got fed up with Darlene's bickering she could only imagine the danger Merle could get himself into.

Merle cleared his throat and began to speak. " 'bout what I said before...you know... it ain't true...right?" He said almost as if he was embarrassed to speak.

Gwen smiled softly and just nodded her head. She knew that was as close to an apology as she was going to get and she was ok with it. As much as he had pissed her off initially, Lincoln had scared her more. At least with Merle there she knew she was safe.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I'm so excited for you all to read this chapter...it's definitely an action packed one. Please review if you have time. Your feedback really helps keep me motivated to write and I'm glad so many of you have really loved this Merle based story...there aren't that many out there so it means alot that you want to keep reading.**

Chapter 39

Merle gently shook Gwen awake. Her hair was a mess, as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Come on sleepy….Governor wants to see us…" Merle told her as she got out of bed and headed towards the shower. She was half tempted to invite him in with her but he was already dressed and seemed ready to go so she hurried through, towel dried her hair as thoroughly as she could and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on her boots.

"What's this all about?" She asked.

"He said somethin' 'bout hittin' another town about fifteen miles away. Gonna see what other supplies might be left.

"Well….I know it's what he wants me for but I'm hoping I won't have to test out my medic skills today" Gwen remarked.

"And let's hope this one goes better than yer last one." Merle quipped.

Gwen cut her eyes up at him and smirked. Merle just watched her as she finished lacing up her boots. She couldn't help but feel there was still some tension between them as they headed downstairs and towards the door.

"Merle….wait…." Gwen stopped him just short of opening the exterior door. He turned back around to face her. Moving closer towards him, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him deeply.

"What was that for?" Merle asked as she pulled away, his hand still resting against her hip.

"Just felt like it was needed..." Gwen told him.

Merle smirked and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her back in. He started to kiss her again but they were interupted by a loud banging on the door.

"Fuck...come on...we'll have to finish this later..." Merle told her as he led her outside.

.

"Good...now that everyone's here, let's go over assignments for today...we're going to hit the town just north of here about 15 miles or so away. Check for supplies, weapons, anything we can get our hands on and bring back...Gwen I had Beatrice prepare a medical bag for you of things you might need if something unforseen happens. We'll put your skills to the test if we have to but let's hope it doesn't come to that...everyone gets a weapon but remember...those of you without silencers will be paired with someone who is...let's try our best to keep the noise to a minimum...Lincoln I want you to keep a close eye on Gwen...we don't want a repeat of what happened last time...Merle...I want you on gate duty until we get back." The Governor instructed.

Gwen's stomach turned when he mentioned Lincoln looking after her. She was quiet as they passed out the weapons and she tucked a handgun into her waistband.

"Governor come on...gate duty? I'd be better off comin' with ya." Merle remarked.

For a moment, Gwen had a glimpse of relief as she looked towards the Governor for his response.

"Now Merle...you know this isn't up for discussion...don't worry...I'm sure Gwen will be just fine...right Lincoln?" He asked.

"Course...I'll take good care of her..." Lincoln replied as he blankly looked at Gwen.

Gwen looked back at Merle and he looked more irritated than anything. She hadn't told him what had happened the night before but she quickly began to question if she had just walked herself into a huge mistake by not. Merle roughly grabbed a rifle, turned and stomped off towards his post. Gwen started to follow after him and was about to call out to him but The Governor stopped her.

"Gwen...hop in...we need to get on the road..." He told her.

Hesitantly she climbed into the truck as she took a deep breath.

.

It took longer to get the the town than expected. There had been some abandoned vehicles along the way that they checked for supplies but it appeared they had already been raided. All the men got out of the trucks and Gwen noticed a few walkers staggering around the streets. The slamming of the vehicle doors caught their attention as they started to wander their way. Gwen felt nauseous but did her best to push it out of her mind. Two of the men with silencers on their rifles took aim and fired...dropping all the geeks to the ground.

"Alright...everyone listen up, we'll stay in groups of two...check the stores on the main strip and we'll meet back in twenty minutes...in and out...let's not waste any time here. There's already more activity than I'd like to see so let's not stay here any longer than necessary...got it?" The Governor asked.

Everyone nodded and a few answered out loud.

"Gwen...stay with Lincoln...check out the pharmacy...see what medical supplies they might have." He ordered.

_Fuck me!...This can't be good..._ Gwen thought to herself as The Governor instructed the other men of where to search. Reluctantly she followed Lincoln to the local pharmacy and they cautiously entered. Neither one of them spoke to the other and the silence was almost deafening to Gwen. Most of the shelves were empty. Gwen jumped the counter to where the prescription medications were stored but was out of luck finding anything worthwhile but still tried to keep one eye on Lincoln while she searched. He didn't seem to be paying her much mind as he walked through the store isles. Maybe she was being paranoid...maybe everthing would be just fine.

"This place has already been cleaned out...I don't think we're going to find anything here..." She shouted at Lincoln as she climbed back onto the store side of the counter.

"Let's check the back store room...maybe something is there..." He replied.

Gwen felt a sense of dread wash over her. She looked back out the front windows and could see The Governor and a few other men walking around...seeming to be empty handed as well.

"Well you comin' or what?" Lincoln snapped at her.

Gwen looked back at Lincoln and drew the gun from the waistband of her pants, gripping it in her right hand. "Yeah...I'm comin'"

They entered the back storeroom and started looking around but still weren't finding anything of value. "I think this whole place must be a bust...maybe we should go." Gwen remarked.

Lincoln grunted at her and headed to a closed door on the right side of the room. He turned the knob and as soon as he did, he felt the pushing pressure on the other side of the door. "AW SHIT!"

Gwen whipped around towards him as she heard the hissing and growling to see Lincoln struggling to shut the door back as decaying arms stuck out the sides trying to grab and claw their way out.

"FUCK! YA GOTTA HELP ME!" Lincoln yelled to her.

Gwen raised her gun and was about to fire.

"DON'T! TOO MUCH NOISE...COME 'ERE AN' HELP ME GET THE DOOR CLOSED..." Lincoln hollared as he pushed with all his might.

Gwen tucked the gun back in her waistband and ran over to the door next to him and began pushing as hard as she could.

"YOU HOLD THE DOOR...I'M GONNA BACK OFF AND SHOOT A FEW...MY RIFLE'S GOT A SILENCER...MAYBE THEN WE CAN GET IT SHUT AGAIN..." Lincoln yelled.

"WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? I CAN'T HOLD THIS DOOR MYSELF..." Gwen screamed back but before she could do or say anything else Lincoln backed off the door and raised his rifle towards it.

Gwen stared at him wide eyed as she struggled to keep the door from opening. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SHOOT THEM!" She screamed.

Lincoln took aim and she could see him take a deep breath...his eyes cut over towards her for a moment and Gwen knew without a doubt what he was thinking.

"You fucking bastard!" She whispered as she watched in horror, him lower his rifle...turn and run back into the store front. She held the door as best she could but she was quickly running out of energy against the strength on the other side. Frantically she scanned the room. She knew she'd have a split second once she released the door...no time to draw and aim her weapon. Even if there were, there was not enough distance between herself and the walkers to get away. She had to let go and run but needed a place to run to since they would be hot on her heels.

Gwen noticed a closet on the other side of the room but could see the glow of light coming in through the back. _It must have a window. _She thought to herself. It was her only chance...she knew she wouldn't make it to the store front between the rows of shelving in time to make her way out with that many geeks behind her. She needed a place to buy herself a little time and the closet seemed her only option.

Gwen took a deep breath and shoved against the door as hard as she could before she took off running. She ran hard to the closet and didn't dare to look back once. She caught a glimpse of the group of walkers heading straight for her just as she slipped inside and turned, slamming the door. Grabbing firmly on the door knob she turned the deadbolt inside but still jumped when she heard the loud banging against the door coming from the other side. Reluctantly she released the door knob and looked around for something to block the door. The closet was narrow but there was a metal shelf with some cleaning supplies and paper products against the wall. Gwen tried grabbing it and pushing it between herself and the door but it didn't budge. Frantically she looked around...she didn't see anything that heavy on the shelf but soon realized it was bolted into the wall.

"SHIT!" She cursed in frustration and glanced back at the door. The constant banging and rattling of the door sent another surge of fear and adrenaline through her body. She couldn't seem to catch her breath no matter how many times she tried to breathe deeply. Fear ran through her body knowing her time of safety in that closet was limited. Gwen rushed over to the window but the glass was frosted over.

"You've got to be kidding me..." Gwen pressed her face against the glass attempting to see outside but couldn't see a damn thing. If she opened the window, what would be waiting for her on the other side? Gwen could hear the cracking of wood from the door. They would break through...she knew she had no choice...it was her only exit. She pushed up on the window but it didn't budge...frantically she reached up and turned the lever to unlock it and tried again...still nothing. Panic washed over her as she tried repeatedly to open the window but no matter how hard she tried...it wasn't going to open. The banging against the door rang even louder in her ears as she struggled to think. Gwen pulled the gun from her waist band. _Break the glass..._She thought to herself. _What if there's more on the other side...opening the window may not have caught their attention but breaking glass certainly would... _Gwen looked down at the gun she held in her trembling hands. What other choice did she really have? She held the gun by the barrell and smashed the window with the butt of the weapon. She heard the gutteral growl as a decaying arm reached inside towards her. Gwen screamed as she back away from the window. Watching in horror as the walker started to climb inside the closet. She raised her gun and fired. It slumped over laying there limp, stuck inside the window, half in and half out as the blood dripped steadily from the wound in it's head to the floor. She could hear the snarls coming from others as she saw more hands attempt to reach past the lifeless body, just hanging in the window sil blocking their entrance. Quickly her attention was brought back to the door as she heard the wood begin to splinter. There wasn't much time left before they broke in. _I __can't let them tear me apart...I just can't...God Merle...I'm sorry I didn't tell you what happened... _Gwen started to cry uncontrollably. There was another option...a permanent one...but it would spare her the horror of being eaten alive. She gripped the gun firmly in her hand as she leaned back against the wall. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried taking a deep breath but no matter how much she tried her breathing became more rapid. Tears steadily streamed down her face. She opened her eyes and raised the gun to her temple as she looked up towards the ceiling... _I'm so sorry Merle..._

_._

Lincoln ran out into the street, with the rifle in his hands. He could see The Governor and the other men near the vehicles. His heart raced as he looked behind him to make sure he wasn't being followed. He turned his attention back towards the Governor and his men.

"WALKERS!" He yelled..."THEY GOT GWEN...SHE'S DEAD!"

The Governor turned at the sound of Lincoln's voice and raised his rifle. He took aim at the walker coming out of the alley towards Lincoln's left that Lincoln clearly had been oblivious to. He fired, striking the walker in the head as it dropped to the ground.

Lincoln turned his head and saw the walker collapse but soon realized it was followed by another...and another...as more emerged from the alleyway. Lincoln tried to raise his rifle but couldn't in time before one of the walkers latched onto him and bit down on his arm. Lincoln cried out in pain.

The Governor and the other men started shooting but more walkers kept coming. "FUCK!...WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM?" One of the men yelled. The Governor aimed his rifle at Lincoln's head and as three other walkers began to tear into him, he fired. "GET IN THE VEHICLES...LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" The Governor yelled as he rushed towards his vehicle and jumped in, slamming the door behind him. He banged his fist on the dash in frustration."GOD DAMMIT!" He cried out in anger as they all drove off.

Heading back towards Woodbury, the Governor didn't utter a word...all he could do was think about the fact that he had lost two more valuable people...everything had happened so fast but he knew he couldn't let Lincoln suffer and needed to put him down. And Gwen...Lincoln had yelled they got her too...now she was gone and he would have to break the news to Merle. A conversation he didn't look forward to but he couldn't help but start to wonder if maybe it was for the best. She seemed to bring bad luck on runs. Here was the second involved with her that they were swarmed by walkers and lost people. The Governor stared out the window at the countryside. It was amazing how things could seem so peaceful one minute and be so chaotic the next. They'd have to come up with a new strategy. They'd have to become more aggressive if they wanted to take back the world that was once theirs...now the question was how...


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: There's another author's note that's very important to read at the end of the chapter but don't skip ahead to it….read the chapter first….trust me….and don't forget to REVIEW!  
**

Chapter 40

Merle watched as the vehicles rolled back into town….he couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà-vu from the last time Gwen went out. He shook his head…he knew he was only feeling paranoid…that was the only bad thing about her….he worried for her and he hated feeling having feelings he couldn't control. _She can handle herself….she made it back last time….there back…you'll see…she'll come walkin' up any minute…._

Merle anxiously waited on post as every minute that ticked by seemed like an eternity. He tried to stay focused and act like he wasn't concerned but his eyes kept wandering back to the route that the vehicles drove….just waiting for Gwen to come walking around the corner.

The small group of men that had gone out came walking towards Merle with the Governor following behind. He noticed Beatrice following a short distance behind them. They all had long faces and not one of them made eye contact with Merle as they approached.

_No….no….no…it ain't whatcha thinkin'….it just ain't….. _Merle thought to himself as they drew closer. He soon realized Lincoln was missing from the bunch as well and he felt his stomach turn.

He leaned his rifle against the gate and climbed off his post. He walked towards the Governor and his men.

"Merle...we had a problem...I'm sorry but..." The Governor started to speak.

Merle stood there in silence and just glared at the men. He could see the Governor's mouth moving but the words didn't register. All he could focus on was the rage that was steadily building inside of him as he began to ball his fist. The rumbling built up inside him until he couldn't contain it any longer. Merle lashed out and started swinging at whomever was closest to him. The men quickly swarmed around him but he continued to punch and kick as hard as he could. Vile words spewed out of Merle's mouth uncontrollably as the men closed in on him. The Governor gripped Merle in a head lock as he and the other men dragged him to the ground. Merle continued to fight as the men struggled to contain him. Two of the men were able to pin his left arm on the ground, exposing his inner arm.

"BEATRICE NOW!...DO IT NOW!" The Governor yelled.

Beatrice rushed over and jabbed a needle in Merle's and injected him with something.

"EVERYONE BACK OFF!" The Governor yelled as the other men quickly jumped up and The Governor released Merle and backed off. The men still circled around him and just stared, all out of breath and exhausted.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU STICK ME WITH?" Merle yelled as he tried to stand. He collapsed back on his knees as he struggled to keep his bearings.

"You left us no choice..." The Governor said breathy as he tried to breath deeply before continuing further. "You're out of control...I know you're upset but we've all lost people...it's an unfortunate loss on both accounts...Lincoln and Gwen...but this is just a part of the world we live in now..." The Governor squatted down next to Merle as he rolled over onto his back, still making a useless effort to sit up. "Stop fighting it Merle...it's only a sedative...maybe by the time you wake back up you'll have come to terms with this."

Merle lay on his back, staring up at the sky as the world began to spin around him...he struggled to keep his eyes open until the drug finally overcame him.

"Take care of him..." The Governor ordered the men. They lifted him and struggled to carry him back towards the bar...

.

Merle's head ached as he struggled to open his eyes. He reached out beside him quickly realizing he was alone in the bed. "Gwen..." He grumbled out but she didn't answer. He struggled to push himself up to sitting as he rubbed his eyes. Looking around the apartment he realized it was silent and empty. His body ached as he noticed his bruised and battered hands. He softly rubbed his arm, noticing the needle mark and slight bruising around the injection site. Then everything quickly came flooding back to him.

Merle could feel himself begin to shake. He felt sick and wanted to vomit but all he managed to do was dry heave. He stumbled his way to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Upon re-entering the room he noticed Gwen's tank top hanging on the closet door. Slowly he made his way over and lifted it off the door knob. He just stared at it and held it in his hand. Bringing it up to his face he breathed her scent in deeply as he leaned against the wall and slowly slumped down to the floor. Bending his knees, he rested his elbows against them to support his head as he slightly leaned forward. He closed his eyes and just held her clothing against his face. _I ain't gonna cry over you...ya can't be dead...ya just can't..._ Merle choked back the tears starting to form and just sat there in silence with a steady ache in his chest...

.

Gwen stared up at the ceiling as she pressed the barrel of the gun against her head. This is what her life had come down to...these were her last moments...full of fear and despair and most of all...alone. She stared at the steel grate above with shelf as she tried to get up the nerve to pull the trigger..._the grate..._Gwen slowly lowered the gun and realized maybe there was a way to escape. Tucking the gun back in her waistband, she struggled to climb up to the top shelf and sticking her fingers in the grate she pulled. It didn't budge. She could hear the walkers on either side of her getting more restless as they tried fighting their way in but she did her best to stay focused. _The screws...gotta unscrew this damn thing..._ She looked around desperately for something to use but was at a loss. She felt against her pockets for anything and noticed the metal on her belt buckle. She undid her belt and pulled it out of the loops from her pants and grabbed the prong of the buckle firmly. Her hands shook as she started to unscrew one of the screws. It took a little force at first but soon she had it going and she rushed to undo the others. The grate fell onto the shelf with her and she grabbed it, tossing it to the floor. Another walker had started to partially squeeze it's way through the window as she climbed into the vent and began crawling through. Gwen made her way to the end of the vent and peered out the grate into the store front. The main part of the store looked clear but when Gwen pushed on the grate it didn't budge.

"Fuck!...come on..." She knew nothing about this would be easy but she grew increasingly frustrated with each set back. Gwen struggled to turn herself around in the cramped vent. She tried her best to calm herself and focus. She couldn't spend much time kicking the vent, afraid multiple attempts would cause too much noise and draw the walkers out of the store room. She needed to do it in once and that one kick needed to count. Gwen closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She braced herself with her hands against the walls and pulled her knees up tightly to her chest. She kicked the vent cover as hard as she could and felt it give, the metal clanking on the floor below. Gwen quickly pushed herself out of the vent and dropped down to the floor. Running over to the door, she glanced out in both directions. There was a small herd gathered in one area appearing to be feasting on something. Gwen didn't care what it was as long as it continued to provide a distraction. She didn't see any sign of the The Governor or his vehicles. She pushed the front door open just enough to squeeze out as she drew her gun back out of her waistband.

Gwen took off running full force down the street away from the heard but there were still a few geeks ahead of her. She knew the noise was a risk but she had no choice but to shoot her way out. As soon as she first pulled the trigger she knew it caught the attention of the others but she didn't allow herself to look back. She just ran as fast as she could...only shooting when she had to as she made her way towards the woods.

.

Branches and debris scratched her face and arms and she ran through the woods. Gwen could barely breathe but she kept going as hard as she could. She knew looking back would slow her down so she just continued to run. The vegetation grew thicker as she raised her arms in front of her to try to push through but she could feel her momentum slowing. The faint growls and moans of the walkers still steadily behind her. Suddenly she felt her body drop as she slid down an embankment, not even seeing it before her as she ran. She tumbled down and landed near the edge of a creek bed. She looked behind her at the drop as she struggled back to her feet, thankful it wasn't a steep drop or she may have been done for. A walker broke through the branches and tumbled down after her. Gwen started to run through the water but turned back around...pointed her gun and pulled the trigger...only a click...she looked at the gun and noticed the slide was locked back...the gun was empty.

"FUCK!" Gwen proclaimed as she turned and tried her best to run in the water. The coldness caused her legs to ache even more as she struggled her way to the other side of the creek with the walker steady on her heels. She felt as if all the energy was quickly escaping her body as she struggled to pull herself out of the creek and onto the ground. She felt a hand grab her foot and pull. Gwen screamed and clawed into the ground, trying to pull herself as she kicked at the walker. It steadily reaching and grabbing her as she kicked with all her might. She turned onto her back, facing the walker as she struggled pull herself away from it.

Suddenly an arrow pierced through the walker's skull and she watched in shock as it's limp body fell backwards into the creek...Gwen felt a wave of relief wash over her as she gasped for air, still struggling to get her feet underneath her to stand. Relief that quickly fled her body as she felt a hand grip tightly around her arm...

..._ to be continued..._

**This is the end of Part 1! Some of you may have noticed I changed the title to "Hand for a Hand: PART 1". Thank you so much for reading and I hope you will all continue on to read Part 2. I decided to end this story here because I think that the next part of the story, since it goes in such a different direction needed to be separated from this first part. I will be posting the first chapter of Part 2 shortly after the new season starts so there will not be a long time in between. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW I really want your feedback overall on this story...where it's ended...what your thoughts are and what you think may happen next! PLEASE continue reading the second half of this story which will be a separate posting. Thanks again for all your support! ~LSWasp**_  
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